DID and what it is

DID and what it is
E

estuardo

Registrant
I have read several post now that talk about DID (Dissociation Identity Disorder). What is it exactly? My T has mentioned it. I feel I have it. If you have experience with this, or can lead me to info on this, I would appreciate it.

Is it "treatable"? (feeling more than concerned, but less than paniced) :confused:

Thanks,
estuardo
 
Estuardo,

First, I have not been here for several weeks, so i wish to say welcome to you.

DID, it is to disocciate from yourself and surroundings. There are different levels of disocciating. To be driving and losing track where you are is like to disocciate. To daydream. But much of us, we disocciated from abuse by distancing our brain and emotions from it. To some people, like myself, it go to extreme of even 'becoming' other personality. But most are not at that extreme, but to point where they distant themself from events and feelings. To 'numb out' can be part of disocciation.

It is treatable. More that we deal with the issues, like abuse, that make us disocciate, the less we have need to do it. It is a coping skill, one that is learned, and one that can be learned. We spent time needing to not be 'present' in ourselves, when bad things were happening. Now we just need to learn to be present for ourselves and lives. It can be done.

I am sure others can give you more precise information. I wish you good luck.

leosha
 
Cleveland Clinic has a good article on this topic (below).

If you're concerned, you can talk to your therapist about getting an assessment.

It can put your mind at ease.
https://www.clevelandclinic.org/health/health-info/docs/2800/2819.asp?index=9786
 
hi. my site My Quiet Space does deal with what DID is on the page Surviving. Myself and my wife have DID. It really is a remarkable coping strategy. If you want to PM me that's fine for more personal info.
 
******TRIGGER*****TRIGGER******TRIGGER*********


Thanks all for the replies. I know now this is what I need to work through! I do suffer from this, and at times, it gets out of control, especially in rage situations.

I imagine that this is not real, I am in Hell, and all of this in my life is playing out there. Somewhere in my life, I believe I died, and I just hadn't realized it, so now I go along, as if I am "alive", but in Hell. God have mercy on my soul!
 
Soccer Kid,

My T has already said this about me, which is partly why I quit seeing him for 6 months, it scared me too much! Now, having read others posts for sometime (on other issues), I see those patterns emerging. I finally broke down a couple of weeks ago, and went back to see my T. He was glad to see me, I filled him in with what was bothering me,(the constant blaming that I do to myself, for getting abused in the first place), and he assured me, again, that it wasn't my fault, that my perp has twisted everything up, so I will keep blaming myself (I was 19 when he abused me for the first time, after grooming me for 2 years).

This DID stuff makes sense, but I don't know how to work it out, and I strugle going to my T, because it is so expensive, and no insurance coverage. Like most here, I struggle in silence.
 
Esturado,
do not be afraid of DID. Try to learn as much as possible about it.
I know how frightening can be awareness to have something like that. Of course it is very serious illnesses but it is much more common in population than people used to think. Manny people in general population have some of the DID symptoms but the problem with the survivors is the fact that symptoms are often so strong that are causing problems to different aspects of our every day life.

Through work with your therapist and your own efforts the situation should become much better. Try to not be a pessimist.

PS. I am not much familiar with the health care system in US but if you are officially diagnosed with DID your expenses should be covered by insurance company if I have right? Try to check this with your therapist.

Ivo
 
DID is probably one of the most common coping mechanisms Survivor use, and also one the most effective.

It's kept many of us going, even alive.
And it is something that we can do something about.

Dave
 
I wish I didn't have DID. It causes me great grief in my life. I am very bored being disconnected almost all the time from the outside world; and I'm sick of being in my head. Also, it sucks to just be sitting somewhere, like at dinner, and all of a sudden "showing up" as someone else wondering how the hell he got to be at the dinner table. I'm sick of it and considered ending my relationship today so that I could just be by myself and die.

I hate it, but they say it's treatable. Typically 5-10 years or something like that.

I boomin' hate it.

Your results may vary.

--Scott
 
SoccerKid,

I would like to reiterate the call not to diagnose yourself. There are interview instruments (DES, SCID-D, etc) that a responsible professional can use to screen you for dissociative disorders, including DID.

Here are two web sites with more info

www.issd.org
www.sidran.org

There are several books that can help you understand, too. But please don't try to diagnose or treat yourself. Is there a crisis center in your location? I meet with my T through the local crisis center, and that's where we went through the tests ("They're not tests; they're instruments," T told me.).

"Stranger in the Mirror" by Marlene Steinberg, M.D., "Myth of Sanity" by Martha Stout, Ph.D., and "Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living With Dissociative Identity Disorder" by Tracy Alderman, Ph.D. are good books. "When Rabbit Howls" is another one but I have not read it. I heard it could be pretty triggering. One of my favorites is "Multiple Personality Disorder from the Inside Out," aka, the Inside Out book. It has sharings from multiples and people in their lives. If you get it, spend most of your time with the chapter labeled "Hope." It's time well spent.

Thanks,

Joe
 
I feel I have to add this, partly because my therapist and I had such a good discussion about it this morning.

I don't care to think of it as a disorder. Rather, I see disassociation as a natural response to the original abuse and the triggers we encounter today.

Should it continue to be something that I use, to some degree, for the rest of my life, I will not be surprised.

I have reached a point where I feel that I have some choice. Most or some of the time now, I think, when I feel I really need to focus, I can.

I remember when I didn't even know what disassociation was or why it happened. I remember feeling guilty and stupid about it, that it was a failing in my personality.

But how else were we to deal with the CSA? How else deal with the triggers we encounter today?

Eventually, I think that most of us can develop or learn other ways of responding to triggers, making them feel less of an assault.

But, just as I cannot change my history, I don't believe that I can entirely rid myself of disassociative behavior, even if that is what I want.
 
Soccer Kid,

Sorry, my bad. It was estuardo who sounded like he was self-diagnosing. I see you were one who advised him to avoid that.

Sorry for the mixup.

Joe
 
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