Determined for 2016 to be my year.
takingitslow
Registrant
Alot of hard work is needed in my life. I relapsed with some bad gambling over xmas which has crippled my short term cash flow and brought back depressive feelings....
So Firstly I need to stop gambling for 2016.
Got rejected at interview for a good job so to avoid being stuck in my low pay job I need to find something better so I can move out from my parents.
So better job and moving out on the list.
Tonight feels so lonely stuck in my room due to money and also the fact all my close friends are in relationships and busy with their significant others so plan to be more social in 2016 as I am a social person but money problems has limited my ability to go out much recently or try to date.
So some form of dating for 2016 and spending less time in my abode......
Finally this year I would never have envisaged. If you said to me my cousin would kill herself and my uncle would be serving 9 years for what he did to me I would never have believed that would be a possibility. Couldn't celebrate his incarceration due to the pain of losing my beautiful cousin.
So for 2016 I want to feel less shame and regret for which I cannot change. I cannot repay my cousin for all she did for me she was my guardian angel I don't want to forget her but I feel I have to in order to save my own mental sanity.
The last few days I was thinking how my uncle created a monster when he abused me. I picked up on a lot of the personality traits the lies, manipulation, domination of conversations, ability to raise my voice when needed, the lack of remorse for any actions I have done which deserve an apology. He created a monster. I have a lawyer to sue him so over the next few years I am gunning for his house purely as more retribution. I wish I was nicer, calmer, more balanced but ultimately I am what I am. A really p*ssed off survivor who probably won't have any peace until I pass away or move to a completely new city/ country.
I just have a feeling in my gut which says I want 2016 to be my year but most likely it will be a continuance of all the crap I've gone through the last X years.
Good luck everyone for 2016.
Dan.
So Firstly I need to stop gambling for 2016.
Got rejected at interview for a good job so to avoid being stuck in my low pay job I need to find something better so I can move out from my parents.
So better job and moving out on the list.
Tonight feels so lonely stuck in my room due to money and also the fact all my close friends are in relationships and busy with their significant others so plan to be more social in 2016 as I am a social person but money problems has limited my ability to go out much recently or try to date.
So some form of dating for 2016 and spending less time in my abode......
Finally this year I would never have envisaged. If you said to me my cousin would kill herself and my uncle would be serving 9 years for what he did to me I would never have believed that would be a possibility. Couldn't celebrate his incarceration due to the pain of losing my beautiful cousin.
So for 2016 I want to feel less shame and regret for which I cannot change. I cannot repay my cousin for all she did for me she was my guardian angel I don't want to forget her but I feel I have to in order to save my own mental sanity.
The last few days I was thinking how my uncle created a monster when he abused me. I picked up on a lot of the personality traits the lies, manipulation, domination of conversations, ability to raise my voice when needed, the lack of remorse for any actions I have done which deserve an apology. He created a monster. I have a lawyer to sue him so over the next few years I am gunning for his house purely as more retribution. I wish I was nicer, calmer, more balanced but ultimately I am what I am. A really p*ssed off survivor who probably won't have any peace until I pass away or move to a completely new city/ country.
I just have a feeling in my gut which says I want 2016 to be my year but most likely it will be a continuance of all the crap I've gone through the last X years.
Good luck everyone for 2016.
Dan.
