Desperately Seeking!

[reality2k4]

This woman wants to be a mother to somebodys child!

I read this and thought, no way, would I trust her to bring up a child of mine.

Maybe I am wrong, but her own life is torn and battered, and surely she is wrong to put a child in any danger.

Maybe I am wrong, but although she has put things behind herself, any responsible man would want access to any child he fathered.

A child outside of a loving relationship, is not my idea of giving any child a decent life.
Maybe I am just old fashioned, but how can someone just advertise for a male father!

Desperation is the key here, and no, I would never agree to anything like this, it is morally wrong to even think about.

If she cannot find Mr Right, then she may never do it, and by advertising like this, it is immoral for anyone to reply.

What do you think???

ste

 

[Iwanttohelphim]

Ste-

I have a different take than you do. This woman is 41 and has taken the time and excercised great courage by examining her past behaviors and her inner life. Sje acknowledges a late maturation and took the time to understand why. She owns her life, no matter how messy. She did not bring children in until she was ready to see them as people, not symbols of her own success or failure.

I have this perpsective because I look at my survivor and know he is not ready to be a father because he is emotionally abusive, unavailable and can be phsically threatening. I know when he gets recovery, he will be a beautiful father. I know that the richness and depth of his character and strength will make him a truely exceptional father. He will know who he is and he will be able to teach his children who they are.

I do not think there is a benefit to dysfunctional and abusive childhoods. But if we look for the silver lining in the devestation, the one's who make it out of the shadows and pain, are the best teachers and reminders of what it means to find compassion and strength- how important it is to acknowledge the past, but to know that we are so much more than certain behaviors or certain feelings...and we were never the things that happened to us.

 

[seekingmybrothers]

Still I wouldn't advertise to the public about my personal life story and come across as desperate either (here on this site our identities are thankfully not disclosed).
There are other avenues she could venture into. Why not find an agreeable partner by just meeting him at a party or whatever familiar surroundings may be?
I'm sure it has to be important to her who this man really is to begin with. I hope she has put into great consideration that her child may very well want to know and try to find their real dad. What will be this male candidates feelings about this strong possible situation?
If this doesn't seem at all important to her then (truly as a woman who's always is in search of her real dad)this is going to cause a lot of emotional trauma for her child (we can never truly heal until our dad is in our life).
Any man can father a child but a true man will be that child's father (healthy bonding).
It doesn't matter if he isn't Mr. Perfect what child is perfect! Only to a dad is their child perfect. As well as to a child their dad is PERFECT (no matter what his past was).