depressed this morning...*TRIGGER*

depressed this morning...*TRIGGER*
P

phoster

Registrant
My wife and I did something stupid, and it has us in a bind. It has thrown me into a deep depression. I am trying to fight my way through it, but it is hard. I dont know much what to say, except to ask for your thoughts and prayers. Though, my faith makes it impossible for me to act on them , I am having suicidal thoughts. I know there is no danger of me doing it, as I have been through it before, but I still am not thrilled with having them. I guess 80mph and a bridge support just feels like it would solve a lot of problems. I know it would just create new ones, but I still think about it in the back of my mind.
 
Jeff,

As always, you have them, my brother.

I know what you're saying this morning. Just hold on. They will pass (as hard as it may seem to believe right now).

You're reaching out, and that's the important thing.

You need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
You'll have plenty of time to be dead later. You have more important things to do right now. No matter how bad it gets, I bet that if you try hard enough you can think of at least one person who has things worse. You yourself have been in worse places than this before. So get rid of those thoughts and go do some living, and maybe help some of the people who are in worse places than you are.

:)
 
Jeff
you and I both seem to be having 'one of those days'
I've just PM'd one of the guys here and admitted to an incident of 'terminal stupidity' earlier today, nothing to do with my problems or MS, just one of my less than glorious moments :(

We all do it sometime, make a big mistake we wish we could erase from the world. But shit happens, and although I know I was stupid, I also know that my attempts to cover up and lie my way out of trouble were giving me some hard time. I know I could have got away with my stupidity, but the cover up was just too much and after a couple of hours I had to 'fess up.
I still feel like shit, but better than I did a couple of hours ago.

The bridge is no answer, no amount of shit makes that the answer. Dealing with it head on is a better answer, it's not easy I know. But we're dealing with this shit aren't we ?

Dave
 
Jeff ...

Bridges - you have thought about driving into one...not so long ago I thought about jumping off one (January).

I didn't & I hope you don't...it's only now that I can appreciate what a mess I would have left behind.

Whatever you've done, you can't rewind - you can move on & not do it again!

I need you here & so do so many other people - always remember that...WE NEED YOU!

Stay strong...Rik
 
Hang in there friend...often things seem darker than they are and there is always an answer..if you can take a time-out I strongly suggest doing so.

Feel better.
 
Hey Dude,
You can't drive 80MPH into a bridge, what message would that send to me? :D If you can't survive it, how can I? :D

Seriously, I too have been depressed lately, not to suicidal thoughts but still depressed. I'm sure it will pass. Atleast I hope it will, because if it doesn't I'm screwed :D

Keep at it, if you need to talk. PM me..
 
Jeff, there is a lot of wisdom and caring here. It is normal to feel really down when we do something that is considered to be stupid--at least by us. But, the fact is, studpidity is not a crime. It can be fixed.

Take care--think positive thoughts if you can.

Bob
 
Jeff,Turn your faith and energy into moving mountains,not bridge supports.go ahead and climb up and look at what happened from on top.it makes it look the size it really is.////////////faceitandwin
 
first i want to thank everyone. i'm still having a hard time this morning, but i feel better than yesterday.

my wife actually said something that really hurt yesterday, so my depression has turned more into anger and shock this morning. she has always been so supportive, but i guess this is some heavy stuff, and it can get to anyone.

she said that her best friend Linda came out and told her that she was molested by her step father. i think she is overwhelmed by the sheer scope of it now that she is learning more about it. her friend Michele, now Linda, Linda's son and daughter. so many people so close to us.

i replied that they estimate something like 20% of americans were. she said she was tired of hearing it. everyone has something now days, and she's sick of everyone blaming everyone else for thier problems. let's face it with my background, that just ripped my heart out. i'm trying to understand her side, but here i am depressed and i need her, and now i have completely shut down. i can't put anymore on her.

i guess this being honost with myself and with those around me is just too big a burden. at least before all this came out, i had my act. i acted happy at least part of the time. now i can't even get the energy to get out of bed. i want to sleep and sleep, dream and forget. i'm weary of struggling and working. i'm sick of being a survivor. all i want is to be happy. is that so fricken much to ask?
 
Jeff,

It's what we all want.

You and your bridge support, me and my bottle of Jack Daniels. Death looked really tempting yesterday.

But we made it through, didn't we? And we did this by being honest.

Jeff, an ugly truth is always better, ALWAYS, than a pretty lie. Your wife, unfortunately, is coming to terms with the scope of the problems we face. Sad to say, Stalin was a better judge of human nature than we knew when he said, "a single death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic."

Your wife is like the multitude, Jeff. She sees the news stories that involve total strangers, thinks, "oh, how sad" (and means it) and moves on. It doesn't make her a bad person. But when faced with the fact that you and other people have been hurt this way, it can seem overwhelming.

She is supportive, Jeff. Just give her time to absorb this new stuff. And ALWAYS be honest. Truthfully now, would she rather have the "fake-happy" Jeff, who would be more self-destructive than just mere thought, or would she rather have the man you are now, hurting, but healing and a fine human being?

I think we both know the answer to that one.

Peace and love, Jeff.

Scot
 
Hang in there. May prays are with you?
 
I think she just doesn't want to see how bad the world truly is. There are alot of problems in the world and sure maybe somepeople are just blaming others for their problems but lets be real here. If someone has an inapporiate relationship with a child, thats not going to affect them? Sure it will. Why do you think we have an incest taboo? Why do we have laws agaist this stuff? Because it does effect people, thats why.

Oh and no, wanting to be happy is not too much to ask.

Jason
 
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