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I'm a male survivor, and let me say you do not sound evil, and your not a demon.

The issues are definitely complicated. Please, seriously consider your daugher's safety. (I think you are doing just that.)

I don't know what someone would think upon reading my journal. That notebook is a safe place for me to test out thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I write things and then realize that's not really how I feel, but I wasn't sure until I verbalized it. Sometimes I express real feelings of the moment that do not necessarily reflect my feelings the next day. It is all very confusing, and although I can be articulate, it helps to have a place where I can rant without having to make sure I am understood properly by another.

So, basically, I'm not sure what others would think of my journal. It is not written for others to understand.

Which brings me to another point...if anyone read my journal, I would be devastated. If the entries were then photocopied and then given to my therapist, I would be extremely resistant of anything my therapist tried to explore based on those copies.

You're husband needs help, and you need emotional an physical security for you and your daughter.

If you've worked through your past, congratulations. That shows real strength. But now there is a present plenty disturbing enough to warrant your getting some help for yourself.


Comment: Trust is an issue, but so is setting boundaries. If your close a door behind yourself, and he punches throught it, a boundary has been violated--not to mention the very important physical intimidation aspect of that. If you look in his journal, a boundary has been violated.

My purpose is not to expose any potential guilt you have. It sounds like you're questioning yourself enough. It just sounds to me like you need distance from him, you both need space.

I sense a question of whether there is any hope for your marriage. I can't say. I long for hope whether others give up, but I would add that, although healthy reconciliation is a noble goal, an ended relationship is better than a harmful one.

I've tried to be honest, but most of all supportive.
 
Hello there,
I am glad you have found a place that you can come and talk about what is going on in your life. I wish I had some advice for you, but your situation is so different from mine. I too am a wife but our problems rotate around trust and intimacy in a different way than yours. I hope you can find some advice/help here. Just reading the posts help me so much to not feel alone and to know that things are not hopeless. I will keep you and your hubby in my thoughts and prays, and especially that little one. I know how much a daddy means to his little girl. My ex has really no relationship at all with my daughter, it is my husband who has bonded with her and been with her most of her life. They are crazy about one another and I am so thankful he such an important part of her life.
Good luck, and keep us updated.

xo
 
I've mentioned once or twice that I am a pastor. The reason I tell you this now is that I do not see confidentiality or privacy as the ultimate "holy of holies." If someone gives me an indication that they are doing or will do harm to themselves or others, I will betray confidence in their best interest. Of course, I let people know this an advance, AND, although I haven't had to break a confidence yet, if I ever do so I will tell the person.

Maybe something like, "We agreed at the beginning, "name", that I would not keep secrets that put you or others in danger. I think what I have just heard falls into that category, and I need to call "appropriate office." You can be here with me as I make that call, or I can let you do the talking. I will go with you to the office/clinic/etc. if that helps. Even after others get involved, I am here for you.

Like you said, the person may hate me, but his life is more important than his regard for me.

My journal does not contain words like his. I don't blame you for passing it on. Even so, my heart aches for what he is going through, as I sense yours does, too.

I am not excusing him of responsibility for his own actions, I'm just weeping for the harm done to him.

And to me.

And to you.

It is all so unfair.
 
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