deleted
learning2remember
Registrant
I'm a male survivor, and let me say you do not sound evil, and your not a demon.
The issues are definitely complicated. Please, seriously consider your daugher's safety. (I think you are doing just that.)
I don't know what someone would think upon reading my journal. That notebook is a safe place for me to test out thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I write things and then realize that's not really how I feel, but I wasn't sure until I verbalized it. Sometimes I express real feelings of the moment that do not necessarily reflect my feelings the next day. It is all very confusing, and although I can be articulate, it helps to have a place where I can rant without having to make sure I am understood properly by another.
So, basically, I'm not sure what others would think of my journal. It is not written for others to understand.
Which brings me to another point...if anyone read my journal, I would be devastated. If the entries were then photocopied and then given to my therapist, I would be extremely resistant of anything my therapist tried to explore based on those copies.
You're husband needs help, and you need emotional an physical security for you and your daughter.
If you've worked through your past, congratulations. That shows real strength. But now there is a present plenty disturbing enough to warrant your getting some help for yourself.
Comment: Trust is an issue, but so is setting boundaries. If your close a door behind yourself, and he punches throught it, a boundary has been violated--not to mention the very important physical intimidation aspect of that. If you look in his journal, a boundary has been violated.
My purpose is not to expose any potential guilt you have. It sounds like you're questioning yourself enough. It just sounds to me like you need distance from him, you both need space.
I sense a question of whether there is any hope for your marriage. I can't say. I long for hope whether others give up, but I would add that, although healthy reconciliation is a noble goal, an ended relationship is better than a harmful one.
I've tried to be honest, but most of all supportive.
The issues are definitely complicated. Please, seriously consider your daugher's safety. (I think you are doing just that.)
I don't know what someone would think upon reading my journal. That notebook is a safe place for me to test out thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I write things and then realize that's not really how I feel, but I wasn't sure until I verbalized it. Sometimes I express real feelings of the moment that do not necessarily reflect my feelings the next day. It is all very confusing, and although I can be articulate, it helps to have a place where I can rant without having to make sure I am understood properly by another.
So, basically, I'm not sure what others would think of my journal. It is not written for others to understand.
Which brings me to another point...if anyone read my journal, I would be devastated. If the entries were then photocopied and then given to my therapist, I would be extremely resistant of anything my therapist tried to explore based on those copies.
You're husband needs help, and you need emotional an physical security for you and your daughter.
If you've worked through your past, congratulations. That shows real strength. But now there is a present plenty disturbing enough to warrant your getting some help for yourself.
Comment: Trust is an issue, but so is setting boundaries. If your close a door behind yourself, and he punches throught it, a boundary has been violated--not to mention the very important physical intimidation aspect of that. If you look in his journal, a boundary has been violated.
My purpose is not to expose any potential guilt you have. It sounds like you're questioning yourself enough. It just sounds to me like you need distance from him, you both need space.
I sense a question of whether there is any hope for your marriage. I can't say. I long for hope whether others give up, but I would add that, although healthy reconciliation is a noble goal, an ended relationship is better than a harmful one.
I've tried to be honest, but most of all supportive.