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- Thread starterDuckie
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I remember a place I went to to hide. I made it seem a fort, a place just for me, like I could run away and not be found, and be safe.
When I discovered apartment lockers, and these were all plywood boxes, and solid doors, I hid in them. I made no noise and stifled breathing and tried not to hear my heart thumping.
When I discovered apartment lockers, and these were all plywood boxes, and solid doors, I hid in them. I made no noise and stifled breathing and tried not to hear my heart thumping.
Shyshark
Registrant
My dear friend ...
We have talked at length about all this over several years now ... so we know each other well.
My only contribution here is to repeat what I have said so many many times before.
You are a GOOD person ...
a good husband ... a good Father ... a good brother ...
a good soldier ... a good police officer ...
and a good and valued member of MS.
As adults we all bear regrets and wishes that we could have done some things differently ... better ...
and for that we have the burden of responsibility ... and in some cases ... shame.
God knows I do ... we all do ... but what the hell does that have to do with anything?
We are human ... this is life.
As it pertains to your abuse there is a simple truth ... but one I know is so very difficult for you to accept ...
as it is for all of us.
Guilt and shame are NOT what you deserve to carry.
much love ...
Sharky.
We have talked at length about all this over several years now ... so we know each other well.
My only contribution here is to repeat what I have said so many many times before.
You are a GOOD person ...
a good husband ... a good Father ... a good brother ...
a good soldier ... a good police officer ...
and a good and valued member of MS.
As adults we all bear regrets and wishes that we could have done some things differently ... better ...
and for that we have the burden of responsibility ... and in some cases ... shame.
God knows I do ... we all do ... but what the hell does that have to do with anything?
We are human ... this is life.
As it pertains to your abuse there is a simple truth ... but one I know is so very difficult for you to accept ...
as it is for all of us.
Guilt and shame are NOT what you deserve to carry.
much love ...
Sharky.
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Shame does have a lot of power.
So powerful it was able to carry me to the very depth of hopelessness, seemingly more guilt and depression than I could deal with. But that was one period of my life. Thankfully, that time is long gone, there's a much greater power: living in the now.
When I see your avatar, it's just impossible to see or think SHAME. Only innocence, a future that overcame.
So powerful it was able to carry me to the very depth of hopelessness, seemingly more guilt and depression than I could deal with. But that was one period of my life. Thankfully, that time is long gone, there's a much greater power: living in the now.
When I see your avatar, it's just impossible to see or think SHAME. Only innocence, a future that overcame.
Shame for me is synonymous with wanting to hide. And why wouldn't it be?
I have a difficult time maintaining eye contact with my T when I'm feeling ashamed. I have sometimes worried that she thinks I'm lying when I look away, but we've talked about it.
My shame is very strong when I do IFS/parts work, particularly when I do that on my own time. I want to climb under my desk or get down into the corner where my bed joins the wall. It's a very strong urge, to not be seen.
I have a difficult time maintaining eye contact with my T when I'm feeling ashamed. I have sometimes worried that she thinks I'm lying when I look away, but we've talked about it.
My shame is very strong when I do IFS/parts work, particularly when I do that on my own time. I want to climb under my desk or get down into the corner where my bed joins the wall. It's a very strong urge, to not be seen.
I was deeply humiliated, and in an instant saw it as all my fault.
Shame crushed me, shocked me numb, bent my spine
But I crawled out. I will break this fucking hunch in my back.
I will stand straight and proud.
Watch out for your brothers and yourself.
Shame is poison.
Shame crushed me, shocked me numb, bent my spine
But I crawled out. I will break this fucking hunch in my back.
I will stand straight and proud.
Watch out for your brothers and yourself.
Shame is poison.
Hello old friend,
Shame is a positive factor when we have done something wrong. But in your case -- and in mine, and others reading this thread -- you did nothing wrong. You were abused and betrayed by people who were supposed to care for you. We who are survivors take the shame on ourselves because it is a defense mechanism -- we think that we must have done something wrong to bring on the abuse, and if only we can figure out what it was we did and not do it again, we will be safe. But that is being loyal to dysfunction. We were wronged, and it affects us to this day.
You are a good man. You are a good husband, brother, friend, and son. Give yourself some credit. You have done a lot of good in this world.
Mike
Shame is a positive factor when we have done something wrong. But in your case -- and in mine, and others reading this thread -- you did nothing wrong. You were abused and betrayed by people who were supposed to care for you. We who are survivors take the shame on ourselves because it is a defense mechanism -- we think that we must have done something wrong to bring on the abuse, and if only we can figure out what it was we did and not do it again, we will be safe. But that is being loyal to dysfunction. We were wronged, and it affects us to this day.
You are a good man. You are a good husband, brother, friend, and son. Give yourself some credit. You have done a lot of good in this world.
Mike
Shame is one of the places I go to and I know I have for years. I crawl in to my own dark place and I can not seem to ever stop going there. Yes I escape I think in Hythe form of denial yet I end up back to feeling gui,t shame disgust all at myself.
I know I come here dump the after time I leave the co e back. I hate myself for tha as I know everyone here has always been kind to me yet I abandon myself and others over and over again.
I know I come here dump the after time I leave the co e back. I hate myself for tha as I know everyone here has always been kind to me yet I abandon myself and others over and over again.
