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- Thread starterHealingHope
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Dear, I read that this morning. Start it differently or not, my hope is the same. You're truer and a greater shining spirit of light than I have encountered in a long time. Your presence brings hope, and you deserve so much.
Hold your beautiful soul up, crying eyes or not, smile or not, breath and be you. The life of healinghope!
Hold your beautiful soul up, crying eyes or not, smile or not, breath and be you. The life of healinghope!
HealingHope
Registrant
Oh my gosh, the sweetest words. I'm in bits, thank you, such a gracious man. If only I could find the words as you have. Thank you x
HealingHope
Registrant
I feel my reaching out in this post could trigger survivors. So I've deleted but want to give thanks for the loving support that follows on from here. I realise I was triggered myself.
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My Dear HealingHope,
Reading your words this morning has touched my heart.
I am so sorry you are feeling so full of questions, some of the hardest days or nights I think we face.
I believe all the questions come from fear and not feeling safe.
I agree that I don't think we would stay if we didn't know their back story. Tells us the reason they behave as they do but most certainly not an excuse.
So we have to find a way to cope, and somedays it easy and others we don't know if we will make it.
Please ask yourself what YOU need today. Listen to music that moves you, eat what pleases you, talk if you like. But do not beat yourself up that you can't make the abnormal normal. Oh how we wish we could.
I just want you to know I will hold you in warm supportive thoughts today!
D
Reading your words this morning has touched my heart.
I am so sorry you are feeling so full of questions, some of the hardest days or nights I think we face.
I believe all the questions come from fear and not feeling safe.
I agree that I don't think we would stay if we didn't know their back story. Tells us the reason they behave as they do but most certainly not an excuse.
So we have to find a way to cope, and somedays it easy and others we don't know if we will make it.
Please ask yourself what YOU need today. Listen to music that moves you, eat what pleases you, talk if you like. But do not beat yourself up that you can't make the abnormal normal. Oh how we wish we could.
I just want you to know I will hold you in warm supportive thoughts today!
D
HealingHope
Registrant
Your words mean so much, thank you. I know you're also no stranger to these feelings, so thank you again.
I just feel so stupid this morning. I'm on that edge of despairing & losing hope about to plummet again into that pit of such sadness. Just feel like an idiot. An idiot for believing and hoping.
I just feel so stupid this morning. I'm on that edge of despairing & losing hope about to plummet again into that pit of such sadness. Just feel like an idiot. An idiot for believing and hoping.
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((HH)) I might be a bit overboard in that I post so much, but, regardless of the MS site disclaimer that we're not doing therapy here, it's a boost toward a better direction. Every post I read, that gives the thoughts, and life like most do, benefits me in ways I hope my words convey. Connecting by words and mind here, minus the obvious physical, does have impact for me.
I noticed back in 1997, when I first discovered forums online, it became an opportunity to relearn my ability to communicate. I have long felt lost from earliest cognizance about failures to express myself clearly, and my isolation. To this day, I deal with pondering clarity and satisfaction that my words show what I mean. HH, it's often why I post such long posts.
To me, it seems my hope to be supportive might get better, as I share bits of myself, not intending to project any of it on you/others, but a hope to be understood as a human trying to find a way to be good, in a world rife with guile, and we who have been hurt so badly, might be so tentative... timid. Only about me HH, not projecting.
I'm not pleased to hear your husband pushes you away. To me, he's behaving like my wife does to me. NOW, that's projecting, so I hope you do a healthy dose of letting go about my take.
If only love were reciprocated by love, and not leaving us unrequited!
I noticed back in 1997, when I first discovered forums online, it became an opportunity to relearn my ability to communicate. I have long felt lost from earliest cognizance about failures to express myself clearly, and my isolation. To this day, I deal with pondering clarity and satisfaction that my words show what I mean. HH, it's often why I post such long posts.
To me, it seems my hope to be supportive might get better, as I share bits of myself, not intending to project any of it on you/others, but a hope to be understood as a human trying to find a way to be good, in a world rife with guile, and we who have been hurt so badly, might be so tentative... timid. Only about me HH, not projecting.
I'm not pleased to hear your husband pushes you away. To me, he's behaving like my wife does to me. NOW, that's projecting, so I hope you do a healthy dose of letting go about my take.
If only love were reciprocated by love, and not leaving us unrequited!
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HealingHope
Registrant
Thank you Ceremony. Every time you take the trouble to answer & post on my threads and other wives/partners you are always so insightful & it brings such comfort. Thank you
You're so right about our love being unrequited. It's why I feel so foolish holding on after all this time.
You're so right about our love being unrequited. It's why I feel so foolish holding on after all this time.
WontGiveUp
Registrant
HH.... I am so sorry things are hard today. I wish I had answers to your questions, but honestly I ponder the same questions and seek those same answers. Maybe one day we will both have them?
I can honestly say that if I had never been told his story, had he kept me in the dark - I would have walked away long ago.
You and I are very much alike in that the love we have for them is real. Its beyond just the surface, we can see inside to the deep recesses that others dont even know exist. We have peered into their nightmares and understood that THEY ARE NOT THE ABUSE. That there is hope. You and I can see the path out of that hole clearly, while they struggle in the dark and fog. Because of that - we hang on, living on the edge of that hole, praying that they dont loose their footing on the way up. That they dont just give up and sit on the side of the path to wait out their life. We stay because we KNOW that there is possibility when they see none.
To me - that is what it means. We care enough to be there should they need that hand up. We care enough to wait and watch, and pray and hope that they put one foot in front of the other, coming up that path to the light.
You love him because you SEE him. He cant respond because he cannot see in the dark.
I am so sorry today is hard. Ever day seems to just be a different level of hard. You must not loose sight of your own path as you wait and hope to see him in the fog making his way out.
I can honestly say that if I had never been told his story, had he kept me in the dark - I would have walked away long ago.
You and I are very much alike in that the love we have for them is real. Its beyond just the surface, we can see inside to the deep recesses that others dont even know exist. We have peered into their nightmares and understood that THEY ARE NOT THE ABUSE. That there is hope. You and I can see the path out of that hole clearly, while they struggle in the dark and fog. Because of that - we hang on, living on the edge of that hole, praying that they dont loose their footing on the way up. That they dont just give up and sit on the side of the path to wait out their life. We stay because we KNOW that there is possibility when they see none.
To me - that is what it means. We care enough to be there should they need that hand up. We care enough to wait and watch, and pray and hope that they put one foot in front of the other, coming up that path to the light.
You love him because you SEE him. He cant respond because he cannot see in the dark.
I am so sorry today is hard. Ever day seems to just be a different level of hard. You must not loose sight of your own path as you wait and hope to see him in the fog making his way out.
WontGiveUp
Registrant
Love unrequited.... that is my life right now.
No terms of endearment to me - yet I continue to use them to him.
I wear my ring, he does not.
I continue to act from the perspective of love, and he does as well - so confusing.
The big trip coming up, will he wear his ring? I am not sure how comfortable I am with him NOT wearing it on a trip we are on "together". If I dont wear mine - would he even notice or care? I dont know.
I am with you HH. Hurt comes from being in limbo, from not knowing and yet still putting in the effort and emotion to what almost seems like phantom.
No terms of endearment to me - yet I continue to use them to him.
I wear my ring, he does not.
I continue to act from the perspective of love, and he does as well - so confusing.
The big trip coming up, will he wear his ring? I am not sure how comfortable I am with him NOT wearing it on a trip we are on "together". If I dont wear mine - would he even notice or care? I dont know.
I am with you HH. Hurt comes from being in limbo, from not knowing and yet still putting in the effort and emotion to what almost seems like phantom.
HealingHope
Registrant
Thank you so much for your perfect words WGU.
When I get so caught up in these feelings I literally can't find my voice, I'm so overwhelmed with emotion the words just cease.
You've captured everything I couldn't say so beautifully and reminded me why I'm holding on ... love... pure and true. What seems like "phantom" is exactly it. But it's like this echo we know so well, one we love with all our hearts and hope with all our hearts will find a way through the fog. Thank you for finding these words x
When I get so caught up in these feelings I literally can't find my voice, I'm so overwhelmed with emotion the words just cease.
You've captured everything I couldn't say so beautifully and reminded me why I'm holding on ... love... pure and true. What seems like "phantom" is exactly it. But it's like this echo we know so well, one we love with all our hearts and hope with all our hearts will find a way through the fog. Thank you for finding these words x
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