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Tryingtolive
Registrant
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- Thread starterTryingtolive
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victor-victim
Registrant
i tell everyone. i don't give a ______ anymore.
i lived with secrets too long. i'm already fifty four.
i lived with secrets too long. i'm already fifty four.
Hi TtL,
Answering ur Q in order...
1) Yes
2) It helped immensely. To not have to hold on to that horrible secrete & to destroy the lie they had been living that 'Dad' was a good man.
3) I told two family members & 1 friend a few months after the memories came back.
4) My fear was that they wouldn't believe me. Yet they did & supported me 100%. Even now 18 yrs later, they are on my side.
5) Yes, it eventually got to my other brothers over the last 5 years, but that has worked out also.
I felt compelled to tell someone because 'it' was driving me insane. But I was still taking a huge risk. And had they turned away from me, I surely would have taken my own life.
For me, I'm glad I took that chance. Yet we each have to weigh out the Pro's & Con's of that choice ourselves.
~Paul
Answering ur Q in order...
1) Yes
2) It helped immensely. To not have to hold on to that horrible secrete & to destroy the lie they had been living that 'Dad' was a good man.
3) I told two family members & 1 friend a few months after the memories came back.
4) My fear was that they wouldn't believe me. Yet they did & supported me 100%. Even now 18 yrs later, they are on my side.
5) Yes, it eventually got to my other brothers over the last 5 years, but that has worked out also.
I felt compelled to tell someone because 'it' was driving me insane. But I was still taking a huge risk. And had they turned away from me, I surely would have taken my own life.
For me, I'm glad I took that chance. Yet we each have to weigh out the Pro's & Con's of that choice ourselves.
~Paul
When I told my father about the abuse my mother did to me, his reaction was, "No wonder you're so screwed up." Nice.
He has, however, been incredibly kind and supportive since that initial misfire.
I also told my wife and daughters and they have been loving and supportive as well. Telling the folks I did has helped because if nothing else I am no longer holding a burning secret which festers and grows inside me.
He has, however, been incredibly kind and supportive since that initial misfire.
I also told my wife and daughters and they have been loving and supportive as well. Telling the folks I did has helped because if nothing else I am no longer holding a burning secret which festers and grows inside me.
I told a close friend, and then my nieces. I felt I needed to tell my nieces because their mother, who died of an overdose in 2010 had also been abused by my brother. I thought it would bring them some sense of closure about their mom. Also, my brother is still out there and makes noises like he might visit them one day, and I wanted them to know that he is a predator. It helped me a great deal to break the silence, but then I have no other family left to tell beyond those nieces. I am slowly enlarging the circle of people who know about my past. I don't care what people think at all, but do not want to make it "all about me", so I am choosing carefully. I feel that the more people who know, the better, honestly. Good luck. If you feel the need to tell those folks, then it is probably the right thing to do.
Freeman
Freeman
