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Tryingtolive
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I had a different type of problem, I would be in a conversation, supposedly conversing but had no memory of the conversation. There were times I remembered seeing a movie but could not remember where or with whom. And there were times I found myself in a place not knowing how or when I got there. There were the hospital stays, not knowing why or how I got there.
Yes dissociation is difficult and scary. I always had gaps but over the past 9 years they were more frequent and extensive. I finally learned new coping mechanisms to stay in the present when triggered and I learned to identify the triggers. When I started to feel myself wander or a trigger I knew was there, I began to think about the present, focused on a current object or write.
You need to find something that keeps you in the here and now. As you heal you will find the need to escape will minimize and your thought process is not controlled by the abuse or abuser.
Good luck
Yes dissociation is difficult and scary. I always had gaps but over the past 9 years they were more frequent and extensive. I finally learned new coping mechanisms to stay in the present when triggered and I learned to identify the triggers. When I started to feel myself wander or a trigger I knew was there, I began to think about the present, focused on a current object or write.
You need to find something that keeps you in the here and now. As you heal you will find the need to escape will minimize and your thought process is not controlled by the abuse or abuser.
Good luck
I dont know if it's the same thing Tryingtolive but its like Im so eager to please the other person that I jump from one idea to the next without engaging deeply with anything. After five minutes, you just feel like its going nowhere. At first I thought it was just low self-esteem - Im desperate to hold the other persons attention. Come to think of it, its like I cant stay put in the present always jumping around in my head that could be a mild form of disassociation.
Come to think of it, whenever I do connect with anyone, I periodically have to switch off and just stare into the distance.
I don't know any quick fix but I'm sure facing our past and connecting it to who we are is an important step.
Come to think of it, whenever I do connect with anyone, I periodically have to switch off and just stare into the distance.
I don't know any quick fix but I'm sure facing our past and connecting it to who we are is an important step.
Dolphinboy
Registrant
Just being in a conversation is difficult for me, I constantly worry that people will "see through me", so I rather don't speak when in a group. I have worked very hard on my self esteem issues, and my confidence has improved, although group conversation is still not easy.
