I had a different type of problem, I would be in a conversation, supposedly conversing but had no memory of the conversation. There were times I remembered seeing a movie but could not remember where or with whom. And there were times I found myself in a place not knowing how or when I got there. There were the hospital stays, not knowing why or how I got there.
Yes dissociation is difficult and scary. I always had gaps but over the past 9 years they were more frequent and extensive. I finally learned new coping mechanisms to stay in the present when triggered and I learned to identify the triggers. When I started to feel myself wander or a trigger I knew was there, I began to think about the present, focused on a current object or write.
You need to find something that keeps you in the here and now. As you heal you will find the need to escape will minimize and your thought process is not controlled by the abuse or abuser.
Good luck