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- Thread starterDuckie
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How do you feel about the proposed increase of dosage iaccus?
That would be a starting point for me.
Other than that, i can read between the lines that you are not yet ready or willing to just leave the past behind. You at least want to discuss the letter. Which sounds pretty acceptable to me
You say "There are no other therapist options up where I live and I am getting the feeling she has never dealt with anything like this before."
I suggest you or your wife ask her plain and honest if she ever dealt with CSA before or not. You have a right to know.
Those are my 2 cts for now. Take care.. try to relax yourself and perhaps you can find the reason of you dissociating. Something triggered you and it could be of help when you're able to pinpoint what triggered you.
Good luck and hang in there! There is good help outside!
P
That would be a starting point for me.
Other than that, i can read between the lines that you are not yet ready or willing to just leave the past behind. You at least want to discuss the letter. Which sounds pretty acceptable to me
You say "There are no other therapist options up where I live and I am getting the feeling she has never dealt with anything like this before."
I suggest you or your wife ask her plain and honest if she ever dealt with CSA before or not. You have a right to know.
Those are my 2 cts for now. Take care.. try to relax yourself and perhaps you can find the reason of you dissociating. Something triggered you and it could be of help when you're able to pinpoint what triggered you.
Good luck and hang in there! There is good help outside!
P
Good advice from OCN. Find out if she is really qualified to handle your issues. If not, you will have to decide how to proceed, with the limited resources in your area. But better to know one way or another. As to the drug dosage, it is your body, so certainly ask the questions in your mind. And do take care of yourself, rest and try to relax. Let us know how it is going. We are here for you.
Freeman
Freeman
NoSimpleMachine
Registrant
My two cents, any therapist who wants to talk about today without handling the past is demonstrating a lack of understanding of how abuse works, and is, to me, on the express train to professional incompetence. Adding in a desire to treat the issues medically, in the face of a patient who is trying to tackle their trauma, is practically negligent.
While I put in the caveat that I do not know you personally, this therapist, or the exact situation fully well, based on my understanding I would say that you have every right to make it clear that you want to work on past traumas and to not accept being derailed or deterred from that goal. To the point of finding a new therapist soon if she is not open to what you want to achieve in therapy, and finding a new T who is open to your goals.
Edit: I missed the part about limited resources in your area. My response to her "Wanting to focus on the future", well, that's great! Make sure she tells HER therapist that. :/ What she wants is honestly secondary to what you want, as long as your therapy goals are reasonable and self-healing, which they definitely are here based on what I can tell from your posts here on MS.
While I put in the caveat that I do not know you personally, this therapist, or the exact situation fully well, based on my understanding I would say that you have every right to make it clear that you want to work on past traumas and to not accept being derailed or deterred from that goal. To the point of finding a new therapist soon if she is not open to what you want to achieve in therapy, and finding a new T who is open to your goals.
Edit: I missed the part about limited resources in your area. My response to her "Wanting to focus on the future", well, that's great! Make sure she tells HER therapist that. :/ What she wants is honestly secondary to what you want, as long as your therapy goals are reasonable and self-healing, which they definitely are here based on what I can tell from your posts here on MS.
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gettingstronger
Registrant
iaccus,
Are....You.....Serious?
I had a T do that. He actually said, "I don't want to know what happened back, like, in fourth grade and all that." What went through my mind was, "So the bullying, abandonment, betrayal, double binds, migraines, nausea, isolation, daily suicide fantasies and, oh yeah, sexual abuse that were all happening then really don't matter? Silly me, I thought that's why I'm here!"
I lasted about half of one session with him. I tuned out midway through and eventually it was over. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you can find someone who really should be in practice so you can get what you need. That's just f---ing ridiculous.
Oh, and meds are fine and all that (I was on Abilify for about 2 years) but the issues you're trying in vain to bring up with her could well make it unnecessary. Does she not see this? If she had half a brain, she'd understand you don't medicate situations like yours away. Meds are there to make the day-to-day bearable, but there's no way in God's green earth they can make trauma disappear. That's not what they're for.
Sorry, I care for you and everyone on this site (you're all like family, except I actually like you!
) so it really pisses me off when I see this.
Bob
Are....You.....Serious?
I had a T do that. He actually said, "I don't want to know what happened back, like, in fourth grade and all that." What went through my mind was, "So the bullying, abandonment, betrayal, double binds, migraines, nausea, isolation, daily suicide fantasies and, oh yeah, sexual abuse that were all happening then really don't matter? Silly me, I thought that's why I'm here!"
I lasted about half of one session with him. I tuned out midway through and eventually it was over. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you can find someone who really should be in practice so you can get what you need. That's just f---ing ridiculous.
Oh, and meds are fine and all that (I was on Abilify for about 2 years) but the issues you're trying in vain to bring up with her could well make it unnecessary. Does she not see this? If she had half a brain, she'd understand you don't medicate situations like yours away. Meds are there to make the day-to-day bearable, but there's no way in God's green earth they can make trauma disappear. That's not what they're for.
Sorry, I care for you and everyone on this site (you're all like family, except I actually like you!
) so it really pisses me off when I see this.Bob
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learning2remember
Registrant
I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience. I think your message to the T is a very good one, and I hope it gets the response it deserves.
My own recovery has required a fine balancing act of acknowledging the past but not dwelling on it, so part of me wonders if the T is trying to find a right middle ground. I'm playing devil's advocate here, just because I'm trying to figure out why anyone would behave as the T did. Just doesn't sound fair.
One thing really confuses me... Am I to understand that you are being notified through your wife that the professionals are discussing adjusting your medication? That feels very wrong to me. I would have thought the T would raise the subject with you before or while consulting phychiatrist, and that they would speak to you directly with or without your wife. How do you feel about the T, the phsychiatrist, and your wife discussing these things without you, and their notifying your wife who then tells you?
My own recovery has required a fine balancing act of acknowledging the past but not dwelling on it, so part of me wonders if the T is trying to find a right middle ground. I'm playing devil's advocate here, just because I'm trying to figure out why anyone would behave as the T did. Just doesn't sound fair.
One thing really confuses me... Am I to understand that you are being notified through your wife that the professionals are discussing adjusting your medication? That feels very wrong to me. I would have thought the T would raise the subject with you before or while consulting phychiatrist, and that they would speak to you directly with or without your wife. How do you feel about the T, the phsychiatrist, and your wife discussing these things without you, and their notifying your wife who then tells you?
Hi Iaccus,
From my perspective, you are the only one who can ever know what is right for you. So, hang in there and do not abdicate responsibility for yourself.
Having said that, I can only tell you my take on what you describe. It sounds like your therapist may be lacking experience with your specific needs. That doesn't necessarily lead to a conclusion that she may not be able to adapt and provide some great help for you. If that is true, it does, however mean there may be a little while of adjustment while a system forms around you, with your active participation, that is the kind of support you need. It's probably important to remember that you need some kind of help you are not able to provide for yourself.
The response from the therapist and your wife you are describing sounds like a knee-jerk response of helplessness and fear. Them experiencing you dissociating may have just freaked them out. That doesn't need to be a long-term situation. The sudden medication response just sounds to me like a classic mental health system response designed to stabilize a patient so some kind of treatment plan can be developed. Therapists, or anyone else really, don't do well with people who they perceive as being out of control.
I feel there can be some kind of healthy outcome from this as long as you continue to participate in your treatment options. Just a possible take on it, and it doesn't mean I'm right.
Sending you love and support,
Don
From my perspective, you are the only one who can ever know what is right for you. So, hang in there and do not abdicate responsibility for yourself.
Having said that, I can only tell you my take on what you describe. It sounds like your therapist may be lacking experience with your specific needs. That doesn't necessarily lead to a conclusion that she may not be able to adapt and provide some great help for you. If that is true, it does, however mean there may be a little while of adjustment while a system forms around you, with your active participation, that is the kind of support you need. It's probably important to remember that you need some kind of help you are not able to provide for yourself.
The response from the therapist and your wife you are describing sounds like a knee-jerk response of helplessness and fear. Them experiencing you dissociating may have just freaked them out. That doesn't need to be a long-term situation. The sudden medication response just sounds to me like a classic mental health system response designed to stabilize a patient so some kind of treatment plan can be developed. Therapists, or anyone else really, don't do well with people who they perceive as being out of control.
I feel there can be some kind of healthy outcome from this as long as you continue to participate in your treatment options. Just a possible take on it, and it doesn't mean I'm right.
Sending you love and support,
Don
I am sorry you are dealing with a therapist who did not focus on the value of the letter you wrote. I was on seroquel which was to relieve anxiety and to minimize dissociation. I am not familiar with ambilify--it may be solely to help with the dissociation. Like you I lost time and memories in dissociation. By itself it is quite scary.
The medication was making me exhausted. I could sleep for days and I had to fight to stay awake. Eventually I learned new coping mechanisms to deal with the memories, flashbacks and triggers.
For me I had to focus on the abuse and triggers in order to resolve the inner emotional turmoil and to identify words, actions that would trigger me so I could use safer and healthier coping mechanisms.
You T needs to resolve the underlying pain and damage the abuse has done to you before you can move forward. That is the way my T handled it.
I hope you are able to work through this with the T and if not only you can decide what to do next.
Kevin
The medication was making me exhausted. I could sleep for days and I had to fight to stay awake. Eventually I learned new coping mechanisms to deal with the memories, flashbacks and triggers.
For me I had to focus on the abuse and triggers in order to resolve the inner emotional turmoil and to identify words, actions that would trigger me so I could use safer and healthier coping mechanisms.
You T needs to resolve the underlying pain and damage the abuse has done to you before you can move forward. That is the way my T handled it.
I hope you are able to work through this with the T and if not only you can decide what to do next.
Kevin
I,
It sounds as if your therapist is in over her head. If there were an abundance of other therapists who might have some training in dealing with CSA and its issues, I would urge you to find another. How far away is the next nearest therapist? You may have to do some driving to find help. And I am sorry that the knee jerk reaction was to up your meds. Increasing the dosage will not relieve you of the trauma you suffered.
Good luck to you. I hope you eventually find someone who can help.
It sounds as if your therapist is in over her head. If there were an abundance of other therapists who might have some training in dealing with CSA and its issues, I would urge you to find another. How far away is the next nearest therapist? You may have to do some driving to find help. And I am sorry that the knee jerk reaction was to up your meds. Increasing the dosage will not relieve you of the trauma you suffered.
Good luck to you. I hope you eventually find someone who can help.
Serious Dave
Registrant
Your request to the T sounds very reasonable to me. Your writing is lucid and coherent, and everything you say just plain makes good sense. You don't sound like you need any more medication to me (maybe the T does). I know that meds are needed sometimes - I'm on an antidepressant and my wife's on a few things - but it sounds like they want to bring out the chemical straight jacket...medicate you until you do what they want you to. I wish I could be of more help, but I stand with you in your desire to get the treatment you know you need!
Sending you love and prayers.
Dave
Sending you love and prayers.
Dave
