Defining Your Sexual Abuse
godsrabbit
Registrant
bless you howard and bob...
and thank you, all of you for your patience..i will try very hard to not take so much of this so personally...i am feeling so vulnerable, but you are helping me to learn to deal with these kinds of responses, which is what i need perhaps...
and i am sorry to always be saying i am sorry (see, i cannot stop)...!...ha
bob, thank you for your pm...i will respond, but i wanted to say here that i appreciate your support, it has been immensely helpful...i was upset because yes, i just made a silly assumption that you and i would share a worldview (which we probably do), but that does not mean either one of us is not fully human and prone to respond from the sensitive places in our hearts...particularly on topics so close to painful wounds...
to try to take this back on topic, i think the most difficult part of defining abuse for me is that i get discouraged at knowing however one defines it, it is a part of you for life...and that sometimes, no matter how much therapy or love or spirituality or whatever you have done to try to heal the core of your being, you cannot hammer all the dents out of your anima...however much i remind myself that i am NOT damaged goods, i also know that, like a truck engine, once you wreck the vehicle, it never really quite runs the same...
so there is defining the abuse and then there is redefining oneself in the aftermath of the abuse...we do not have to live lives defined by the hurt and the grief we feel, but it will somehow always be part of the definition...
i for one want to make sure that it is not always the first definition: hi i am rabbit and i am a survivor of sexual abuse...
i would much rather be: hi i am rabbit and i really like pie...
i know i disagree with many of you very strongly about this and i do not denigrate the advocacy work that you do...i think it is a very powerful and positive thing...but i do not believe that everyone is called to it just because they are survivors...no more than every woman is called to be a feminist or every gay man is called to march in a pride parade or pick your cause...i am not a victim who needs to draw attention to me...i have had enough shame and humiliation in my life...and there are a hundred ways to be an advocate without draping yourself in a banner...
for me, dignity is found in humility and in acceptance and in dedication to righting the wrong in whatever manner you are called to, never in anger...not even that which is righteous...and never in the agendas of others....
(i have gone way off topic...have a head full of words and cannot seem to focus...and i am trying very hard not to apologize...)...ha....
and thank you, all of you for your patience..i will try very hard to not take so much of this so personally...i am feeling so vulnerable, but you are helping me to learn to deal with these kinds of responses, which is what i need perhaps...
and i am sorry to always be saying i am sorry (see, i cannot stop)...!...ha
bob, thank you for your pm...i will respond, but i wanted to say here that i appreciate your support, it has been immensely helpful...i was upset because yes, i just made a silly assumption that you and i would share a worldview (which we probably do), but that does not mean either one of us is not fully human and prone to respond from the sensitive places in our hearts...particularly on topics so close to painful wounds...
to try to take this back on topic, i think the most difficult part of defining abuse for me is that i get discouraged at knowing however one defines it, it is a part of you for life...and that sometimes, no matter how much therapy or love or spirituality or whatever you have done to try to heal the core of your being, you cannot hammer all the dents out of your anima...however much i remind myself that i am NOT damaged goods, i also know that, like a truck engine, once you wreck the vehicle, it never really quite runs the same...
so there is defining the abuse and then there is redefining oneself in the aftermath of the abuse...we do not have to live lives defined by the hurt and the grief we feel, but it will somehow always be part of the definition...
i for one want to make sure that it is not always the first definition: hi i am rabbit and i am a survivor of sexual abuse...
i would much rather be: hi i am rabbit and i really like pie...
i know i disagree with many of you very strongly about this and i do not denigrate the advocacy work that you do...i think it is a very powerful and positive thing...but i do not believe that everyone is called to it just because they are survivors...no more than every woman is called to be a feminist or every gay man is called to march in a pride parade or pick your cause...i am not a victim who needs to draw attention to me...i have had enough shame and humiliation in my life...and there are a hundred ways to be an advocate without draping yourself in a banner...
for me, dignity is found in humility and in acceptance and in dedication to righting the wrong in whatever manner you are called to, never in anger...not even that which is righteous...and never in the agendas of others....
(i have gone way off topic...have a head full of words and cannot seem to focus...and i am trying very hard not to apologize...)...ha....