Deborah LaFave

Deborah LaFave
K

Ken Followell

Past President
Couldn't take it any more today. Talk show hosts saying how the 14 year old boy was "lucky" to have been to be "seduced" by his teacher. And that she is so hot that he couldn't possibly be traumatized!!

When will they get it that boys can be raped. couldn't get ht e number to call, but emailed the last host I heard and the program director for the station.

Until people wake up and realize that kids can't say yes or no, there is just some much frustrating ignorance out there.

Well I guess all I an do is continue to speak out and remind them that rape is rape and kids are not an acceptable object of lust.

Ken
 
It disgusts me. What is even worse is the number of female teachers who were abusing students who were caught in the few months following this one. And people snicker, and say 'oh yes, abuse, the poor poor boy' like it is some f*ing punchline. It demeans all of us.

Leosha
 
I emailed some goon from a national newspaper who said that boys of 14 seduce men, and that in the 70s it was a common thing.

Whatever the era, I do not think that these kids seduce men, it is rather that these men prey on these kids because of their past.

Who spawns the rent boys, and prostitutes?
The cycle continues because of ignorance and denial,

I grieve,

ste
 
Ken, please PM the show details to me so I can check it out.
 
That's not right, to say it like its not a big thing cos it is.
 
On a similar line it pissed me off when I went into my local supermarket on Monday. Got to the CD section and was faced with a mountain of michael jacksons latest CD (greatest hits). *Lack of capitals intentional.

I know he got off, but jurors did say that they believed he had abused boys in the past, that they just didn't think they had enough evidence this time.

I was disgusted at the indecent haste that the record company had taken in releasing this CD. Disgusted that the Supermarket was stocking it & exceedingly disgusted that 'The Great British Public' were buying the thing!

It's displayed as 'Offer of the week'. The store is very quiet on a morning & it wouldn't take much effort to add a label that changed this to 'Pervert of the week'.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
The "Michael Jackson loves children" crowd really wind me up.

Mikey likes having SEX with CHILDREN - HE NEEDS TO BE IN JAIL.

but the worst are the parents - what would you do if your son came home and said "Dad, can I go to Neverland"?
 
Below is text from opinion piece at https://www.970wfla.com

"Deborah LaFave Should Not Go to Prison


Tedd Webb - Clear Channel, Tampa

My email has been burning with folks taking umbrage with my proclamation that former school teacher Deborah LaFave should not go to prison. Passions run high on this one, women all feel she should go, men appear to be a bit more sensitive to her situation.


LaFave is accused of having sex with a 14 year old male student. Women have called this rape, I say you cant rape the willing. I am not defending LaFave for her actions, I am saying she should not go prison. Nothing would be served.


One lady emailer said that we dont know what damage the boy has suffered. Trust me sister, he is going to be just fine. He is not having nightmares, he is not suffering from an eating disorder, he will be fine.


Of the men who emailed chastising my opinion, one said she should be punished for breaking the law. I agree, but not prison time. Put LaFave on probation, make sure she never teaches again.


Moms will always think of their sons as babies, no matter what age. Recall that famous movie from 1971, The Summer of 42 starring Jennifer ONeil and Gary Grimes; except for the names, there appears to be a similar situation. There was no outcry when the movie was released.


Trust me Mom, Junior is going to be OK."

End of piece.

Ken
 
AARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Since I have homosexual feelings, I guess, following this idiot's train of thought, I should be considered "lucky" that I was seduced, raped, traumatized, and degraded when I was 11.

Yeah, sure, pardon my language, but I was really fucking "lucky," wasn't I?

These sonsabitches who think kids who are "seduced" are lucky should have to walk a mile in our shoes.

Scot
 
I talk a lot on this site and mostly in chat, and I could not understand this thing about female rape, but after it is explained to me I do.

I was never involved in 'consensual sex', and that is perp language.

My abuse was violent, so it puts a different meaning on it.

I can however understand that a boy being a boy, who is aroused, can someway be a party to some part of love, and not abuse.

No way, and because of his arousal and subsequent acts, he blames himself for a vile attack on his innocence.

I hate TV, and I dont watch it, it is too triggering for me, even if I do have the attention span of a goldfish.

The idea, that a boy cannot be raped is nonsense, it does not make any sense, and it not consensual, if a predator takes away their mind for their own lust and destroy his mind.

ste
 
A better link is https://www.teddwebb.com/ you want to click on Webb's world then click on Webb's World ~ 07/20/2005 If you click on About Tedd you can email him. If you look at the bottom of the page he has three kids and two grandchildren. What the hell is this man thinking!
 
Perhaps he might think about this differently if we asked:

"Suppose your 14 year old granddaughter (or daughter, depending on the age of his kids) were to fall in love with her 24 year old male teacher who was really handsome and sexy.

Suppose she decided it was ok to have sex with him, even while her cousin was driving the couple around in his car while they had sex.

Suppose the teacher got busted and tried to claim he was temporarily insane (because he knew it was illegal for someone in a position of authority to have sex with someone under his temporary custody/care; and perhaps because the state laws about consent said you have to be 16 to give consent.)

Of course it is not rape. She didn't protest. She wasn't forced. She did it because she wanted to and the teacher was just having a temporary lapse of judgment.

Is that ok, Mr. Webb?"

Feel free to send this scenerio to him if you want.
Ken
 
I have heard him address that on the air. He said that boys and girls are different and for girls it is of course rape.

Ken
 
the only 'differences' between girls and boys in that situation are differences that are socially created. its traumatic no matter who you are, because at that age you dont understand sex. but society says hey kid, youre supposed to have liked that, be a man, its just sex. and he buries his confusion until he goes nuts somewhere later in life. for girls, its all hugs and therapy and express your feelings, and they get the closure they need. its sick really, that a child being abused can be turned into a joke. people are sick.
 
I think there are two ways one can look at this idiot's piece and I will try to do both.

I. We clearly have to do here with an ignoramus who does not bother to check out his facts or background before he runs his mouth. Here are some examples that I found in 20 seconds - there are probably more, but not many. What I have here is already more than half of his text:

men appear to be a bit more sensitive to her situation.
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Exactly what situation is that? She raped a 14-year-old boy and has been caught. People should feel sorry for her now?

I say you cant rape the willing.
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The willing? The whole point of the age of consent is to establish a boundary below which a child is not considered to be capable of making such a choice. This isn't two 14-year-olds going too far (though I would not consider that a good idea either), it is exploitation of the power and authority that an adult has over a child.

I am not defending LaFave for her actions, I am saying she should not go prison. Nothing would be served.
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It is a defense to say that no useful purpose would be served by imprisoning a rapist, because the boy went along with it? The offender is a teacher, and it is well-known and stressed everywhere that because of the power and authority and influence that teachers have over children, their conduct with students has to be above reproach. Every teacher knows that! Every teacher knows that a sexual advance with a student is automatically a termination offense. What teacher does not know that having sex with a 14-year-old student is also a felony? Every school has guidelines on such matters.

He is not having nightmares, he is not suffering from an eating disorder, he will be fine.
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Is that a fact? Based on the profound knowledge of this subject that the speaker displays elsewhere in this little snippet, I am hardly reassured. Behind this lies the old prejudice that boys do not suffer from sexual abuse, or at least not if they are the active party to the act.

Of the men who emailed chastising my opinion, one said she should be punished for breaking the law. I agree, but not prison time.
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I see. The application of the law should be determined not by the law and the judiciary, but by dilettante radio hosts.

Moms will always think of their sons as babies, no matter what age.
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True, but totally irrelevant to the question. A 14-year-old is a child! It has nothing to do with what his mother thinks. A lot of polemic is like this - hits an apparently solid point, but then proves to amount to nothing.

Recall that famous movie from 1971, The Summer of 42 starring Jennifer ONeil and Gary Grimes; except for the names, there appears to be a similar situation. There was no outcry when the movie was released.
Click to expand...
Yep. I remember it well; I was a junior in university. But the key word here is "1971". That was more than 30 years ago, when the impact of abuse on boys was still largely unknown and unrecognized as a problem. Just goes to show how current this guy's thinking is.

And I liked what LostCowboy suggested on this thread -- imagine if it was one of his own children or grandchildren. Would it still be "okay"?

II. What is even worse about this guy is that he is what I call an attention-seeker. We get them here from time to time: someone who stirs things up, claiming to have special important information or expertise. But his point is not to help anyone or contribute anything, but rather just to talk about himself or bask in the limelight or both. So long as there is a big fuss he will post and post and post, then there will be a lull until an opportunity arises elsewhere. The most recent example of this was Pablo, who posted lurid details about a past retreat, but not with the aim of helping anyone. The fact that he posted in 4-5 different forums and did so anonymously shows that he was just trying to stir things up, or devour attention.

The kind of thing we get here in that department is probably guys with genuine problems, in which case I wish them well and hope that their issues can be resolved. Tedd Webb is a more deceitful sort of attention-seeker. He is in the broadcasting business, where success is measured by your audience because this determines the rate you can charge for advertising. How do you get known? One way is to do a good job, thoroughly and honestly. Another way is to be sensational and controversial, like Jerry Springer. But Springer doesn't pretend to be doing anything else! Webb, on the other hand, poses as an authority whose opinion should be listened to and acted upon. Therein lies the danger. Based on nothing more than the authority of the broadcast media, his false opinions will affect what thousands of uninformed people think, because they erroneously suppose he knows what he is talking about.

Here by the way, is a good example of the old "right to my opinion" problem. Sure, Webb is entitled to this opinion or any other on any subject he wants. BUT...if he then offers it to others (us) then these others equally have the right to critique what he says. When that happens, his answer would have to be to defend his opinion with real arguments, not to go off in a huff, saying well this is my opinion.

Webb is wrong not because we are offended by what he says, but because clear and cogent arguments can be brought against him. These arguments show that his opinion, irrespective of his right to have it, is destructive and poisonous when it gets circulated as something we should take seriously. Along with the right to an opinion goes the obligation to be responsible. I wonder if any of us would like to step forward now and say, well, okay but wait a minute, that's his opinion.

Sorry, but this kind of thing bangs on my cage every time. :)

Larry
 
Hi All - Though I've been keeping quiet I have been checking back from time to time. This subject, of course, has raised my ire like so many others here. So I emailed Mr. Webb. I am not in his broadcast area so can not hear what he has to say on a regular basis. I told him what little I know about his views on the subject and how I disagree. I was pleasantly surprised to receive a response from him in which he apologizes, admits he was mistaken and seems to be taking another look at the situation. I wanted to share it with you because I think it shows that we can make a difference if we speak up. We can change view points and attitudes by educating those who are not as 'well versed' on the subject of the affects of childhood sexual abuse on boys. We can't just expect everyone to know what it's like.

Below is how the exchange has gone so far:

Mr. Webb - You've probably already heard enough on the subject but I feel compelled to weigh in. I am a 43 year old male survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I live in NY so am not in your broadcast area. But I am aware of you due to a post on a website that I visit called www.malesurvivor.org It is a site dedicated to helping men overcome the victimization of childhood sexual abuse. You've created a bit of a stir there on the message board.

Apparently it is your opinion that a 14 year old boy who is seduced by a grown woman is not a victim of sexual abuse. I believe you are misguided in your thought process. I find that easy to forgive though because, like most of society, you are simply uninformed about the subject.

You see, it's not about the physical act, it is about the misuse of power and control. It is about the betrayal of trust, trust that an adult in the role of authority would do what is right by a child in her care. And yes, fourteen years old is still a child.

I realize too, that you feel that boys and girls are different in their responses to being seduced by adults. Again I must disagree. I suggest that you visit the aforementioned website, take a look around. Read some survivor stories. Check out the message board to hear from men who know all too well the damage that takes place when a child is sexually abused by an adult. Then, at least you'll be informed, from an outsider point of view anyway. But you will have a better understanding and an educated opinion is, of course, preferable to an ignorant opinion. I think you'll change yours.

I would also like to ask how you'd have felt if Deborah LaFave was a man seducing a 14 year old boy. Would your opinion be the same? Or if Ms. LaFave had seduced a 14 year old girl. Would that have been okay? Do you draw the line at any particular age?

None of this is intended to insult or offend you. It is intended to motivate you to get educated on the subject of how boys react to sexual abuse, and this was sexual abuse. The damage can last well into adulthood in the forms of addictions, problems with relationships, sexual identity issues (what if Ms. LaFave's student had gay tendencies, he may be very confused now and for the rest of his life), problems with authority figures, trust issues, and on and on. These issues are real Mr. Webb and you are doing your listening audience, indeed society as a whole, a great disservice by perpetuating the stigma that boys are not hurt by being seduced by adults.

Since I am not in your broadcast area, I would appreciate an emailed response. But I don't expect one. I know you're probably a very busy man and you are probably so set in your ways that you won't look into what I've suggested here. If you do, whether you change your opinion or not, I appreciate your time and wish you well. Please do not publicly disclose my contact information which is listed below. Thank you.
Best Regards -
John
__________________________________________________

Hi John,



I guess we can only go by what we feel on a subject. My first sexual experience, I too was seduced by an older female. I was 12, and scared.



I have not been scarred by this thank God, and am sorry that your experience turned out differently. I was not speaking as some one who did not have first hand experience, perhaps my mistake is that I felt every male would welcome a shot at LaFave if she were their teacher. I was wrong.



I apologize for any signs of insensitivity.



If it had been a male teacher having sex with my young daughter, I would have shot him. A male teacher seducing my son, I would have shot him. There is indeed a double standard, I must admit. I have 2 sons, 15 & 14, and if they came to me saying they had sex with LaFave, I doubt I would have reacted negatively based on my own experience.



There is so much more to the LaFave story I can not get into for reasons that will surface during the trial. I am also a private investigator, and have been made privy to some info that might change your view on this single episode, not sexual abuse in general, just this case.



Thank you for your input, most valuable indeed.



God bless

Teddy

https://www.teddwebb.com

Co Host of AM Tampa Bay

Newsradio 970 WFLA-Tampa

A Clear Channel Station
 
From Larry's excellent post:

claiming to have special important information or expertise.
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From Teddy's reply to John:

I am also a private investigator, and have been made privy to some info that might change your view...
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Good catch Larry - Beep! Beep!
 
John,

so he had relations with an older woman at the age of 12?

ask him how many times he's been married or how much he drinks.

sure, the answer could be none or once and he may not drink, then I would call him lucky. But if he's had either of these problems...

I'm curious at this point.
 
Curtis - I have forwarded your inquiry to Mr. Webb. But I think the idea here is not to challenge him on his personal life and possible problems that may or may not stem from his seduction at such an early age. He did not mention the age of the female nor did he refer to her as a woman, just 'an older female'. She could have been 12 and a half.

I think what the objective is and should be, is to help people to better understand the aftermath of CSA, especially people who have access to a large audience. We all get pissed off when people speak about the issue without knowing the facts. But consider this, should everyone know how this works? Is it reasonable to expect everyone to know all the facts? Of course not and we shouldn't wish that they know them for if they did they would have had to conquer the same demons we constantly battle.

I think a little kindness, compassion, understanding and gentle teaching might do a great deal to help dismantle the stigmas of CSA. Stay on course - John
 
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