dear diary

[markgreyblue]

i have drank three keirs

and upon thought to web page paper

after this last episode in toronto canada

i think i may be better suited for a country - rural life

- unspeakable bullshit

as i find myself influenced to go for a life

that is artificial to me -

i get such headaches - and pain -

--- that perhaps my conclusion is

i am better suited for a place

where i do not have to worry for my looks

or my furnishings -

but perhaps for the partner i would be -

the community memeber i am -

the love that I GIVE -

i may have need - that needs fulfilling

perhaps

even the nudge - not henpecked

but 'hey where are you, dinner is at six'

or called say 'hi thinking of you'

maybe it's odd -

maybe it's weird

i woudl give to his need too - in a way that were liveable -

but i cannot be someone i am not - as he could not be somoene he is not

i am strong -

but string me out - in artificial directions

i become

not me.

i could live by the sea

by the mountains

by the woods

meadows

or plains

if i have to go get milk for breakfast

that's ok

if you're there to kiss me thanks

what a reward

peace

m