Dealing with anger

Dealing with anger
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EGL

Registrant
I finally acknowledged about a month ago the sexual abuse that happened to me when I was 12 (I'm 43 now). For about the last week of so, I can tell my level of :mad: ANGER :mad: towards the person who did this to me (my brother) has been rising and rising.

I guess I've always been :mad: MAD :mad: about it, but am really starting to feel it turning into RAGE. Is this normal? :confused: I'm wondering if I'm going to just get so mad that I literally explode all over the room, it's kinda scary how mad I'm getting. I don't recall ever feeling this kind of rage before. How do you deal with it? Any words of wisdom welcomed and appreciated.
 
Eddie,

I know about the rage. And it scares me because it is just below the surface. Like a volcano.

I am also afraid of what will happen when it finally comes out. But I am told that there can be safe ways to let it out. Without the destruction that I know I am just wanting to wreak on the world.

For right now, I go into emotional shutdown or numbing to keep it down. But it won't always be that way. It can't

We have a right to our rage. And anger. And every other feeling that comes with our violation.

I hope someone here can give you better advice than I.

Peace, brother.

Marc
 
The best I can offer is find an outlet. Boxing, or that type of activity, is an excellent way to vent your rage. If nothing else, I have been known to knock the shit out of a pillow. I just picture Rick's evil face on the pillow, and I punch until my arms turn into lead. It makes me feel better, if not a little bit tired.

Or, exercise is also good to get out anger. Just be sure to listen to what your body is telling you. I almost hurt myself pretty bad one day. I was in a BAD mood, and had just gotten out of a T session. I overdid it and did not stop until I got a burning sensation in my thigh. I was in pain for over a week!

I hope this can be of some help to you, my brother. Take care of yourself!
Casey
 
Thanks as always for the replies.

Originally posted by yesac76:
Or, exercise is also good to get out anger.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I signed up for a 1-year membership last fall at the gym, but haven't been in about 6 months. :rolleyes: Every month I deduct that auto-draft from the checkbook though. I think I'll get started back on that as well. I know I felt better when I was going.
 
I'm glad exercise was mentioned. I find myself getting mad over dumb, insignificant things. I have little or no patience with my kids. Once I cursed my wife in front of the kids, because my Jeep broke down. I have never forgiven myself for doing that. It scares me. Big things that I should get angry over, I tend to take in stride. I like to think that my anger is over against my perp., but I really think that is down inside me somewhere and it's these little things that set the anger off. Exercise may just be the key! I'm going to start riding my bike and hiking more.
 
I took a long time to get angry appropriately. I was getting angry with myself and harming myself. But I didn't really have anger directed at anyone else. That has recently changed, and it actually feels good to be able to have anger towards the 'right' people. There are times that it is more appropriate then others. But I think that exercise, journalling, other ways to focus the anger are very good ideas. As long as you do not harm yourself or another, it can be useful energy.

Leosha
 
I used to get mad over silly little things that should have just irritated me as well, and let the major problems sail over my head.
I was fitting a new reel of wire into my welding machine one afternoon and it kept unravelling. After about the fourth time I ripped it out of the machine and kicked the shit out of it until it was useless.
It was a Sunday so I couldn't get another, and it had cost me about $20.
But that's the kind of thing that made me explode, simple mechanical or other 'physical' things that didn't go quite right would send me mental, but the things other people did that upset me I coped with.

Someone suggested getting something like an old washing machine and beating it to bits with a sledge-hammer or a length of pipe as a good release for anger, and I tried it. It works.
There's something very satisfying about destroying something.

Dave
 
Eddie, the anger you feel is normal. My therapist says that the two emotions that always inevatably come from abuse are shame and rage. Once you can move beyond the shame the rage starts too come. In fact just tioday he said when the anger comes up that is a good sign in our healing journey. Just remember it is normal, and doesn't make you a bad person.

I have always been angry at myself, I never felt anger towards any of my abusers, in fact I still have anger only directed at me, so I think it is healthy and good to have anger felt towards the right people. As Leosha said anger can be a great energy and can use it towards good and healthy things.

scott
 
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