Days were I want to explode

[Severe stammer]

Does anyone have days were they want to explode, a very deep anger of all the trauma, ive been jailed a few times for my anger and been on the news and in papers, I didn't want that coverage I just got tipped over the edge.
The last year people have started to listen to me with out being laughed at or ridiculed or humiliated .
Ive got a mental health team that can understand why ive acted how I've acted.
I went through a faze for a few years were I wanted to make society sick on social media to let them see the full impact of my life and being honest.
Adult male survivors is a taboo subject your guilty until proven innocent, your a man you got an erection you wanted the abuse, your a sex fiend that shags anything.
Ive been attacked asked over and over again about my childhood abuse and I was honest and not one person said to me we understand and lets get you help, there were quick enough to take my money 10 20 k a month working 7 days a week.
I'm sorry I'm having a nervous breakdown

 

[Severe stammer]

How am I supposed to be normal with the shit ive had to endure, he won't cuddle people or his children he has panic attacks he can't speak fluent he must be a freak.
Not one person gave me a hand or compassion for laying my cards on the table.
Why don't they interview my children or any other child I've been round in adult life.
Ignorant dirty self centred robbing bastards and lying dirty child abusers that ruined my life for the sake of a medal.
There's one thing I'm not is a liar

 

[Severe stammer]

Ive read your 5 times more likely to be abused if your disabled I found that out the last year, the British stammering association don't know how to handle adults abused as children or in adult life, ive made some friends who live like me can't talk fluent .
I'm just letting it all out