Dating After Divorce
Being newly divorced after 16 years, I'm facing my childhood abuse for the first time at nearly 50 years old. Because of what happened, when, and how, my therapist believes it's lead my sexual behaviors ever since. Talking with him and all of the things I never considered to be anything but weird memories is almost laying a paper trail through every sexual relationship I've ever had. Now that I'm divorced, I feel sexually dead inside. My therapist says I need to really take it slow right now and do my best to stop watching porn. I was introduced to porn at 5 years old, so sexual exploitation is all I've ever known. But like all of the other additions I've faced and began programs to fix, I have to face this one, too. Then there's the cigarettes... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
But, am I alone in thinking that another relationship could ever work, after all I've done to ruin people? I've literally been single for 3 months since I was 14. I'm not shitting any of you. I'm a serial monogamist. I've got baggage labeled 1983 on the tag. And every year after. I don't want to be alone, and it would help to have a good woman, who understands autism, because both of my kiddos are on the spectrum, who would be a good match once I've put in enough work to actually serve a partner rather than exploit them, objectify them, or act out aggressions because of a helpless victim some girl made of me 40 years ago.
Is it even possible?
But, am I alone in thinking that another relationship could ever work, after all I've done to ruin people? I've literally been single for 3 months since I was 14. I'm not shitting any of you. I'm a serial monogamist. I've got baggage labeled 1983 on the tag. And every year after. I don't want to be alone, and it would help to have a good woman, who understands autism, because both of my kiddos are on the spectrum, who would be a good match once I've put in enough work to actually serve a partner rather than exploit them, objectify them, or act out aggressions because of a helpless victim some girl made of me 40 years ago.
Is it even possible?