Dark Hole

Dark Hole

Darren White

Moderator
Staff member
Don't think it's necessary, but it might trigger someone.

Dark Hole


Hey, girl, he says, for him your gayness defines you.
His bony spine gently curves into a pillow.
Come, he says. And plays with the corkscrews you call hair.
You're a lion with your green eyes and dark mane. He kisses you.

I'll stitch you together again so the sawdust won't seep away through the cracks.
I'll say all the words, so they will stay inside to remember.
I'll be your anchor, so you won't drift away.
I'll cradle you to sleep, that is all you need.


He thinks that understanding you will give you a new identity.
That his life is strong enough to build a solid castle

He says, You have a bed, You have a chair, and me, isn't that enough for you?
Dissolving into someone does not give you their identity, it causes you to disappear.

He takes away your clothes.
Nakedness bares the dark hole sometimes taken for a heart or a strong sense of self.
You are on your back, watch the swallows, lost dots in the sky.
You follow their erratic pattern while he connects your life with his.
 
Dissolving into someone does not give you their identity, it causes you to disappear.
Very moving, and evocative.
Not having a strong sense of self it is hard to know where my abuser stops and I begin. Or where I stop and my wife starts. Lacking a shape of my own I meld and dissolve easily into others.

I thought of you yesterday. This week has been difficult and yesterday my words were far away from me. To get a thought out of my mind and then across to my mouth to speak felt impossible. I had to call in sick and spent the day alone painting and drawing.
Thanks again for sharing your words with us.

-Toad
 
Not having a strong sense of self it is hard to know where my abuser stops and I begin.
@Toad
That was extremely good and insightful reading what you did there. That's exactly what the poem is about. On the surface it's all consensus, but is it really?

I thought of you yesterday. This week has been difficult and yesterday my words were far away from me. To get a thought out of my mind and then across to my mouth to speak felt impossible. I had to call in sick and spent the day alone painting and drawing.
Thanks again for sharing your words with us.
I hope the solitude has helped you somewhat?
I know about that silence, speaking is forever difficult for me, literally, figuratively. I am glad to have a few very good friends, with whom I can email. The rest of the time I am alone, and that's how I want it.

Thank you for liking my poems.
 
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