CURE ?????????

CURE ?????????
S

Steven Heath

Registrant
Before I write my posting.......if it is okay.......i would like to dedicate this to johnsurvived.......who 2 nights ago helped me through a very sensitve matter with his insight and wisdom....which ultimately caused me to think and actually have a breakthrough.......thank you john.

Now the posting.

For many years now, I have worked on the issues and ramifications of my abuse. And always, even though I wanted so badly to feel better, I seemed to fight it all the way. I realize now that I have been doing it with the wrong goals in mind. And therefore never felt that I was moving forward. Or at least not at the pace which I would like to be.

Last night I realized that I have been looking for a "cure". Like I had a disease. I realize now, for me anyway, that it is the wrong way to look at my situation here on earth. It's kind of like looking for a "cure" for me being short.

What I guess I am trying to express is that I have been waiting for "it" to go away. Well "it" doesn't. "It" happened. "It" is real. And I cannot change that reality. I cannot change the past and I cannot control what happened.

There is no CURE. For there is nothing to cure. But there are better ways I can deal with my feelings and actions. I can learn to cope better.

My therapists always talked to me about my "coping mechanisms". And until now I did not understand what they were talking about. Actually, that is not true. I intellectually understood what they meant, but I never chose to embrace what they were saying.

I think, now that I realize that I don't have a disease to be cured, but, rather a circumstance in life to be dealt with.........I am, all of a sudden, the one in control.......not my abuser.

Wow a powerful feeling and responsibilty. At 53 I am no longer a child.

Thanks,

Steve
 
Steve,

That is a breakthrough indeed! Congratulations. I like the idea that you see this as a responsibility too. We have so much work to do in order to recover, but once we see that our recovery is up to ourselves and that we DO have the tools required to succeed, we still need that determination and confidence to face the risks and step into the unknown.

Thanks for sharing all this. It's a wonderful and constructive post.

Much love,
Larry
 
Steve,
From chatting to you I already knew we had a lot in common but reading your post made that even clearer. In put into words the feelings I have had. I don't think I'm as far down the road as you but some of the landmarks on your route seem pretty familiar and that gives me hope!

Thanks Steve

PS your still an honoury Luton Town fan by the way!!
 
Steve,

I remember exactly where I was when that same realization hit me. Awesome, isn't it? I've mentioned this concept with others a time or two over the years and got looked at like I was Eddie's 3-headed dog. If you've never experienced that breakthrough you just don't have a clue I guess.

I'm just so pleased for you about this.

Lots of love,

John
 
Way to go Steve, in time it all just seems to fall into place and at times it all just seems to fall apart but such is life. We are all on the same ride, some of us see different things but in the end we all get to the same place with help from others like you and Johnsurvived.

It is very nice to know that this event occurred, someone helped you in your life and I know that means a lot to you because all of the help I have received here is special to me, it means a lot to me, hell it is our lives we are talking about, our sanity.
 
Steven, I am glad to hear these words from you. You sound confident. Even though you are much older than me, I feel safe to talk with you in chat and respond on discussion boards.

Take care,

Alexey
 
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