constricted

[Kid A]

I'm sick of trauma, of not being able to feel, of being scared, of being numb, of thinking to keep away the fear, of trying to explain things that I can't even understand, of trying to remember and trying to forget, of not being able to smile or laugh without effort, of nightmares, of self-hatred and feeling like a fraud in my own body. I'm tired of trying, but not trying doesn't work. I'm tired of having control, but I can't lose control. I'm tired of my screaming sounding to myself like whining. Despite being sick and tired, I have faith that things can get better and that these battles eventually fade away.

 

[TJ jeff]

Hi Kid A,

Yeah, it's a tough battle (but one that we can win) - we all get tired sometimes - sometimes it just helps to let it all out onto paper (or in this case cyberspace) - we're here to listen...

Take good care of you,

TJ jeff

 

[roadrunner]

Kid A,

Yes, it is a huge hassle sometimes, and I too get fed up with the feeling of being pulled very which way all at once. And just when you think you are making progress something new comes up.

But that's the way it is with recovery and it is the same for everyone else here.

I like the way you end on a positive note. We really do need to just keep going and have faith that things will improve. I am convinced that they do, and that they will.

Much love,
Larry

 

[RICK57]

Kid A - yes it's a battle (there are many battles before the war is won).

I am in the middle of a battle now heading towards a court date with the local pervert! I feel pretty bad, but I know that I feel so much better than I did 2 years ago when I arrived here. Now the 'badness' is mixed with strength.

Best wishes ..Rik