...I'm happily married, And this behavior i not in alignment with the life I want. Maybe I need to look closer at the trauma
It was an epiphany for me to recognize that ALL my sexual acting out behaviors that made intimacy with my wife impossible, were rooted directly in trauma I experienced as a boy. I didn't remember the trauma but I certainly was aware of the acting out and it ALWAYS ended with me feeling profound shame. I would say, yes, you may want to look more closely at the trauma and recognize that when you act out you're really perpetuating what the perpetrator did to you. If you want to release the trauma you will want to stop acting it out whether in personal encounters or through using pornorgraphy. That is really the only way you'll become free.