Connecting the dots .................. professional advice pls?

Connecting the dots .................. professional advice pls?
J

Jaco

Registrant
I am currently wondering why my acting out is connected to my CSA. ( I have told my T that I can not see the line that is connecting my CSA to my acting out. Her answer was: "I am standing on it.")
What makes "us" act out?
I do understand that there is some sort of connection between my CSA and acting out, but is this all?
Is there any other explanation for this?
Why do we need to act out years later after the abuse took place. I have always said to myself lots of times that I will stop it but then started again.
The "urge" that I feel in acting out comes up and I do it. I have now read a lot of posts here and it seems to me that guys in a similar position then me, is also talking about this "urge".

Where does this "urge" originate?
Where does it come from?
Why is it there?
How can it be stoped?

Maybe one of our T can help me here as both me and my wife would like to have a clearer understanding of this.

Thanks J
 
Read this and see if it helps clarify some of your questions.

https://www.malesurvivor.org/Professionals/Articles/singer2.htm

Ken
 
Jaco, I am anxiously waiting to hear some of the answers to your questions, too. I'm also married, but this acting out stuff gets a grip on me that seems uncontrollable at times, though in the clutches of I, I know what is happening, but just either can't stop, or don't want to stop.

This morning when starting work, just an hour ago actually, I recognized the beginning of the 'urge,' as you described it. What I've done so far is refocus on what I've read here, and worked hard on focusing on something else. My past experience is, however, that once the 'urge' begins, it's hard to suppress it. I'm really hoping and praying that my new understanding of self based on past CSA will empower the adult I am today.
 
Great article Ken. The connection between abuse and acting out in particular acting out that relieves the abuse seems to be elusive at the current time. I'd like to offer something that I hope/wish an MD/PhD would take a look at. Experiencing trauma activates coping chemicals in the brain (i.e. adrenaline). For those of us who seem to be stuck in time from the abuse its like our brain needs these chemicals to cope. Thus, we choose behaviors (acting out) that feeds the brain to cope. Thing is the brain becomes dependent upon the chemicals ... similar to additcs. I say this because I've noticed that I can begin to get the "rush" with simply thinking not doing "acting out" or by switching behaviors like exercise or extreme sports/situations. The easy way to experience the "rush" is by acting out in a way that relives the abuse. The more acting out the more it progresses because the "rush" has to be bigger each time becuase the brain builds up a tolerance. As Ken's article mentions its the trigger of feeling victimized that starts the path of finding ways to cope ... hopefully its a healthy choice

Just my thoughts ... again hope some MD/PhD looks into it.

Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality
 
BtR:
The brain chemistry thing is apparently the current direction in science of trauma. You are likely on to something and if anyone is looking into how these brain chemicals influence our behaviors, check out the research in this area.
Ken
 
Hi Guys

Please feel free to comment on the way you also feel. I am not asking just for T to answer but everyone.

I am still trying to understand my behaviour as it is abnormal and it is self destructing.

This is part of the healing process I must go through as I am still working through all this and trying to make sence of it.

All your comments help in putting everything in perspective.

Jaco
 
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