confusion

confusion
M

michael Joseph

Registrant
the abuse has confused me over many issues, like orientation.

I am attracted to men, but dont feel safe.

Is it normal to be confused?

Help me feel ok by giving me your responces.

thanks guys
 
Hi MJ,

I don't know whether it is normal, but I believe it is common.

I had major identity issues through out my teenage years and they are still lurking around in the background on occasion even though I am nearing 50 with a wife and grown daughter.

At this point in my life these issues are not a major hangup for me but they were huge at one time. They are still there to some extent although I've learned to live with them and have managed to gain some perspective on the issue. I don't know that I have the words to explain it any better although I would like to.

I also understand how terrifyingly hard it can be to even admit such things even in a place like this. At least it is for me 'cause I worry what the other folks here will think of me.

I believe there are other members here and even the administration/leadership team that have more information than I can share.

I just want you to know that you are not alone. I'm right there with you on this one.

Courage,

John
 
just trying to find a smile on my face from time to time. I want to be a little less confused.
 
I don't really know the answer to that one for sure MJ. I think it is normal for people who were sexualized too early to be more confused about everything, including their orientation perhaps. My guess is that who you are and aren't attracted to, who you trust, your self confidence, all those things are impacted and thrown out of sync by being the victim of SA. Peace, Andrew
 
Michael,

I had really big orientation problems when I was a teenager, but as I recall it now, 40 years later, it was really part of a massive confusion over everything. I worried about everything, and all I knew for sure was that I was just about worthless. I had become a willing partner to a man who took joy in hurting and humiliating me; I even missed him once he was gone. How I could have felt that way, and yet hated and feared every second of the abuse, is something I could never figure out.

I don't recall ever "resolving" that one, but these days I don't thing issues of orientation bother me much. It's more a problem of shame and guilt at having been tricked so easily by this creep. I don't have any problems relating to gay friends, though I can easily see how huge orientation problems could be a long-term issue.

I don't think you should feel guilty about your orientation issues or the confusion you feel. These are YOUR feelings and they indicate areas where you have problems.

We all have piles of issues on lots of different points, and one way in which this place is so great is that any of us can air our difficulties without being judged. It's great you are able to talk about all this.

Take care,
Larry
 
just trying to figure out who to be with m or f
 
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