confusion

[fightlikehell]

so sometimes I will look up gay porn and i do get off on it at times but I am not gay and I have no idea why I do it, is it a by product of my SA or is it just something that I do?
I guess I am just confused ...

- Adam

 

[roadrunner]

Adam,

I think this comes back to the problem that "straight" and "gay" are not opposites that one chooses from. There are a lot of different sexual orientations in between and all around 100% gay and 100% straight. The real question is this: "Am I being responsible and caring, and am I happy?"

An interest in porn of any kind can be related to SA though. A survivor had his sense of sexuality and boundaries totally wrecked as a boy, and of course this problem doesn't go away just because he is an adult now. So if you are confused Adam, welcome to a very large club!

I would suggest that this one of the many issues that is best discussed with a T, who can help you get through this without a lot of new trauma and confusion.

Much love,
Larry

 

[Morning Star]

Adam
I would suggest that next time you are at it, observe yourself closely, see your feel before as in what triggers you), during and post your visit at a gay porn site.

That would help you know that what is it that you seek. That is the most pertinent question here.

You see your visiting a gay porn is not the issue, but your intention is. Stay with it, and you'd get clarity.

Just dont try to curb a habit just because you think it is not 'right', once you understand it, you will automatically feel no need to indulge in it, anymore.

See it like any addiction like drugs or alcohol. Please dont judge yourself for it, it is just a learnt mechanism, that you would unlearn soon.

I am living proof that you can get out of it, even if you were once living for it.