Confused

Confused
D

deck

Registrant
On Wednesday night I was coming home from an event when I just lost it. I had to pull into a parking lot. The week had been kind of weird/rough for a lot of reasons but Wednesday had been going pretty good.

This just seemed to hit me out of nowhere. In retrospect, I think that I've figured some of it out but... I've been really confused over the last week about a lot of things but this was not what I expected.

I think right now what I'm really worried abot is losing it in public (at work,etc.).
 
Deck,
That's very normal. I still cry in the car a lot. It's where you are alone with your thoughts.
I wouldn't worry about losing it in public, because for the most part, we aren't alone, with thoughts rattling around or trying to bubble to the surface.
I find the distractions at work ease the feelings that come up.
What happened was really normal. You are fine and you will be fine. It's all healing.
Take care of yourself.
Paul
 
Paul is correct.

When your alone and let the mind wander it starts to all surface.

The great thing is, although it will never totally go away, it does get much much better.

In my case life is alot better since I finally talked about it and no longer hide it away.

The emotional rollercoaster is a wild one, but its all part of the healing.

Fight the good fight


Pete
 
Deck,

We have all gone through experiences like that, but as the previous two guys have assured you I think it's less likely to occur in public because at those times we are usually distracted and busy.

There's nothing wrong with shedding tears, though, and if I am with safe people I no longer feel badly when that happens. Recovering from abuse is an emotional task and the feelings have to come out some way or another. Why should we be willing to cry for others but not for ourselves?

Much love,
Larry
 
Hey all! Thanks for the comments. This really did bother me. Not so much the crying but losing it like that. Everything seemed fine and then... BOOM! I was gone. It does seem lately that everything is such a rollercoaster. My emotions just seem everywhere. And sometimes almost without warning. So far, I am alone or with trusted friends when I get emotional. I just hate this rollercoaster.
 
Deck,

The emotional hurricane, as I called it when I was going through it, sure is a rough one to deal with. I felt so out of control and vulnerable, not to mention embarrassed when I would break down.

Perhaps it will help if you think of this as a part of the process of recovery. In order to recover we have to deal with our feelings about what happened to us. And in order to do that we have to FEEL those feelings honestly and completely. If only we could just select one at a time, deal with it, package it away, and then take out the next one! But of course it doesn't work like that - we get the whole flood at once, and that's what makes it so difficult.

Much love,
Larry
 
Deck,

try to, and I know this is going to sound insane, but try to not worry to much about 'losing it' in pubic. I say that only because it can become a 'self fullfiling prophecy'. The more you worry about it, the more likely it is to happen.

And just remember, that even if it DOES happen, it is not something that can't be lived down, even though it is embarassing. It's understandable, and people who care about you will understand; the people who don't know you, either don't matter or you'll never see them again.

Leosha
 
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