confronting dead perps

confronting dead perps
Hey, Larry,
I can see a mental image of you in the churchyard, with or without the current pastor. Your feelings will be mixed, of course, but the most important and lasting feeling should be one of closure and safety.
No matter what lauditory inscriptions there may be on the headstone, it will be healing to see with your own eyes that the bastard is truly and forever dead.
He can no longer hurt anyone.
Love, etc.,
 
Brothers,

Thanks so much for all your comments and support. I really appreciate your ideas and thoughts - gives me a lot to think about.

At the moment I am leaning toward going to the churchyard , but trying to follow the positive perspective that Morning Star suggests. I won't go to rage or urinate on anybody, he's not worth the investment of even that much of my emotional resources. I will do it just for the sake of healing.

I'm not sure how this will work out in real terms, but that's what I have in mind.

Much love,
Larry

PS: Rich: You were commenting on how your mind works - but look at mine. The need for a wizz turns into an "emotional resource". Somebody help this man! ;)
 
Larry - if you do go, remember that the only person you must forgive is yourself (if you haven't already).

Whether or not you forgive the perv is up to you! Did he ever say sorry????

I hope that you find peace on this journey... as for the abuser...I cannot wish him well!

Best wishes ..Rik
 
***triggers***

Rik,

He was caught with me in the Scout cabin by the Scoutmaster, who had returned to fetch something he had forgotten earlier. The abuser had finished and thrown me on the floor and I was in zombie mode and pretty much terrified. There was shouting and scuffling and the abuser was gone. I never saw him again and the Scoutmaster got me cleaned up and took me home. I had threatened to kill myself if he told, and it was 1963 - my Dad now agrees the Scoutmaster, one of his best friends, did the right thing for that time by saying nothing. My Mom remembers me running upstairs to my room and slamming the door. She came up to check on my "asthma" and remembers thinking how strange: no asthma, but I'm trembling and remote and don't want to be touched.

Nope - he never said he was sorry. He just moved on to other boys.

I sometimes still have huge feelings of shame as a dirty boy who "liked it" somehow and went willingly, but I don't identify them as a need for forgiveness.

Larry
 
Larry,

" I had threatened to kill myself if he told",

Yes, I would have thought a boy who felt so ashamed and hurt would not have wanted to have the perp brought up for various reasons.

The biggest thing that happened was when the perp told me he would kill my family which at ten years old would have struck me like lightening.

It would have been massive to go to court and he wins because adults know better etc.

If he did go to court then he thought!
My dad is going to kill him, he really will.
This is the frightened mind set that I went through.

A little boy of ten hoping the perp never gets caught in case his dad is up for murder which carried the death penalty in those days.

I had those "asthma" attacks, it was not asthma, just inability to breathe, so I checked it thru mind control.

My dad got me outside in a place where nobody would be and asked me what really happened, but I could never tell him because of his initial reaction to all of this.

I was protecting him at 10/11 yo. :(

We can all see why we never told and the perps get clean away, and it is us who carry all this guilt for life,

ste
 
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