Confronting abusers

Confronting abusers
A

Archnut

Registrant
Hi All

I have made my mind up to go and confront my abusers, I never thought that I would be able to get hold of my original abuser and pimp Chris Denning as he is now living in exile in Slovakia.

I cant really go into details (except to say that there is a possibility of it being broadcast here in the UK) at the moment but there is the possibility that I maybe able to get out to Slovakia and hunt the prevert down. Dont get me wrong the thought terrfies me and he is the most manipulating of abusers but it has to be done not only for my sake.

I need to do this to start the purge, there are another three after him.

Any advice would be appreciated on how to go about the actual confrontation. Would it be wise to work out a script of what I wanted to say. I get tounge-tied when under pressure and loose my train of thought.

Your input would be gratefully recieved.

Archnut
 
Good for you Archnut! My thoughts are with you. Unfortunately, that is not one of my options due to the fact that they are dead, but I sure still have wishes that I could confront them! I hope that maybe you can take strength from the fact that you represent many like me who will never have the chance! I am with you in spirit!
Broken
 
Dan, I cannot confront an abuser because I have no feelings for them, had to drop that one, and that is the one that keeps them in their "trade", and they know it@@###???

Then again, it is hard if you know them to let them go on abusing other kids even in anothre country, but beware of confrontatiom, you will either get hte desired effect or they will confront you.

Confronting you with, it was your fault can lead to an extreme confrontaition with him, anger built up over many years can lead to exteme conflict!!!

Denial at this point is very damaging to your own well being, so beware!

ste
 
Hi Archnut,

Thats brave and you sound pretty determined, I wish you good luck with it, it could be a very empowering experience.

I would be thinking about exactly what I want to say and yes I would write it down so that it was in my memory, you could always keep the script in your pocket just in case you did get tongue-tied.

Perhaps a role-play with someone maybe a therapist if you have one would be useful. There is no way to guess what the abuser might say or how he might react, but a few scenarios acted out might give you more confidence. As an exercise it can make what you plan to do more real.

I would be thinking of exactly what I wanted to get out of it and of best and worst scenarios, everything that could possibly happen, denial, blame, violence etc.

If there is TV involved that could feel like support or could have you feeling under extra pressure. I think having at least one close person there for you would be helpful, if possible.

I semi-confronted my dad over the phone. I had a series of dreams about looking him in the eye. In the first ones I couldnt, as they progressed I could and in the last one he looked away. I felt ready to talk to him. I hadnt spoken to him in five years. He knew I had told the social services and the police in our small town about my fears for a nephew. Part of my motivation was to find out about my siblings who had cut off contact with me. He told me everything I wanted to know. I also wanted to be able to talk to him without shame. I brought up, why I hadnt been home a few times; he behaved as though I had said nothing. He asked me to come home and behaved as though everything was normal. I felt that the power had shifted this psychopath I had been so terrified of for years was squirming. I didnt need to push the point (nor was I able to then, perhaps), he told me he was too shaky to write down my phone number in a self-pitying way. I was emotionless through the whole conversation.
It was a week later that the feelings hit me and I spent a long evening crying, shaking and letting in what had happened.

For me it helped me shift the powerless feelings and my ability to make eye contact, which had always been bad improved, I am probably not finished with him yet.

Wishing you strength with this.

Rustam.
 
I have confronted mine, physically, other then my father. It is an empowering and terrifying experience. And there will be some backward momentum from it, if you are anything like me.

I would suggest that you prepare yourself, completely. Plan what you expect from it, and make sure they are realistic expectations. You can not go into a confrontation expecting nothing less then an apology from your abuser. It needs to be realistic. I would also suggest to really plan what you will say, anticipate his responses,and what else you will say. You want to be prepared for any response, and not be caught 'off guard'.

I would make sure that it is in public place, or open place, and you are not at all alone. And if you can, have someone who knows your history,and knows about this, there with you, that you can 'process' with afterward. It is something that will take out of you before you realize it also gives you strength.

I guess in general, it is just to be prepared and safe. Good luck.

leosha
 
Thankyou gentlemen.

I know that it is not going to be easy but as I have said it has to be done more for my own sanity than anything else. There is no chance of him returning to the UK unless he gets a deal from the police as there are a number of Police forces here that would like to speak to him.

This is an abuser and pimp that must have abused thousands (yes thousands) over here. He now lives in Slovakia in exile. He was released from Pranic prison in Chezchoslovkia back in 2002 and was deported from Prauge. The British government tried to get him deported from Chezchoslovkia but they have a different statute of limitations (Five years) and the age of consent is fifteen.

This exscuse of a human being argued his case in court ofr forty hours forcing an interpretor to resign his post due to the breakdown he suffered whilst translating. I dont expect an apology. I just want him to know that I know where he is and to tell him what he did to me and the effects it has had on me throughout adulthood.

Chris Denning is perhaps the worst offendeing child abuser the United Kingdom has ever seen.

Denning also got linkes to the infamous Walton Hop disco where the liks of Jonathan King, Gary Glitter, The Bay City Rollers and their manager Tam Paton, together with Deniz Corday and Rob Randall and the police cheif over here said that there was no evidence to an organized paedophile ring operating out of the walton hop. What else do you call a place where abusers congregated and commenced grooming on masse. The truth is Surrey police ran out of money, its all down to money. It was me who started a major inquiry over here that resulted in two convictions I have yet to appear in a court of law as a prosecution witness. Thats another story and can be read in the book ("Benders") I'm hoping to get publsihed which will run paralell to any possible broadcasting of any confrontation. I would have liked the confrontation within a court of law but thats not now likely to happen so this will have to do.

Thanks once again and further advice would still be appreciated.

Take it easy all

Archnut
 
Thanks for bringing the walton hop to my attention, yes it sounds like organised to me, and organised to most people, but it sounds like it has been brushed under the carpet with all the otheres. I am sure there are a lot in very high positions who are shielded from prosecution also.

Good luck,

ste
 
Dan
confrontation is something I haven't done, so I can't really give you any help on that.
But these guys who have done it seem to know the downside, and the emotional fall-out if everything doesn't go to plan - and things such as this rarely do.

Good support is essential, both in Slovakia and back home. Build a support framework before the event, make sure they all know what's going on, and don't be afraid to use it.

Dave
 
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