Confrontation
Hello - I am fairly new here, have posted a couple of times and have received warm welcomes from a few members. Thank you for that. It's quite a relief to see that I'm not as alone as I thought I was, despite the fact that we are all 'virtual' here. I thank you all in advance for any help, support, etc. that you feel you can offer. I intend to do the same when I feel as though I can be of help.
Like many of you, I've lived with my past for thirty years. I was abused by a teacher at a residential school, the same school that was attended by Joseph Druce, a.k.a. Darrin Smiledge, the man who recently murdered the former priest John Geoghan. Darrin and I lived in the school together with 16 other children for about a year. While I'm not 100% sure, I believe that Darrin was abused by the same man I was abused by. I do recall him being in the car with the teacher and me, only a few of us were shown 'special attention'. As you can imagine, the recent murder of Geoghan has brought back many memories as well as many emotions I'd previously learned to supress. From time to time over the years, I'd taken it upon myself to try to locate the teahcer (as well as another very cruel, brutal abuser, but that's another story). I work in the investigative field so I have many resources available to me than the average Internet user. Well, the very same week that the prison murder took place, I happened to find the teahcer. I know where he lives and works. I know who is male partner is and where he works, they live together. After a few days and some conversations with my wife and a couple of friends, I summoned the courage to confront the teacher...how to go about it was the only thing left to iron out. I could confront him at home where he may just slam the door. I could confront him at work (a bank where he serves as VP of Operations) where he would probably call security, or by telephone. I chose the latter. He was, naturally, shocked to hear from me after thirty years, was in semi-denial, wouldn't admit or deny what had happened. His first reaction was to tell me that he thought he should contact an attorney. He also said that he needed some time to think about how to respond to my 'accusation'. I told him that I was no presently seeking any type of legal action, that I only wanted an explanation. That I was trying to resolve some old issues, lifetime issues and wanted him to explain himself. I agreed to give him a few days to think it over. As expected, he has since avoided me. I have many ideas about how to get his attention but am doing my best not to create a hostile situation. I'm guessing that many of you have experienced something similar and thought you might have some suggestions about what to do next. Thanks for putting up with the long post but I wanted to give some background and let you all know just a little bit about where I'm coming from...of course there is a great deal more to be told. And again, thank you.
John
Like many of you, I've lived with my past for thirty years. I was abused by a teacher at a residential school, the same school that was attended by Joseph Druce, a.k.a. Darrin Smiledge, the man who recently murdered the former priest John Geoghan. Darrin and I lived in the school together with 16 other children for about a year. While I'm not 100% sure, I believe that Darrin was abused by the same man I was abused by. I do recall him being in the car with the teacher and me, only a few of us were shown 'special attention'. As you can imagine, the recent murder of Geoghan has brought back many memories as well as many emotions I'd previously learned to supress. From time to time over the years, I'd taken it upon myself to try to locate the teahcer (as well as another very cruel, brutal abuser, but that's another story). I work in the investigative field so I have many resources available to me than the average Internet user. Well, the very same week that the prison murder took place, I happened to find the teahcer. I know where he lives and works. I know who is male partner is and where he works, they live together. After a few days and some conversations with my wife and a couple of friends, I summoned the courage to confront the teacher...how to go about it was the only thing left to iron out. I could confront him at home where he may just slam the door. I could confront him at work (a bank where he serves as VP of Operations) where he would probably call security, or by telephone. I chose the latter. He was, naturally, shocked to hear from me after thirty years, was in semi-denial, wouldn't admit or deny what had happened. His first reaction was to tell me that he thought he should contact an attorney. He also said that he needed some time to think about how to respond to my 'accusation'. I told him that I was no presently seeking any type of legal action, that I only wanted an explanation. That I was trying to resolve some old issues, lifetime issues and wanted him to explain himself. I agreed to give him a few days to think it over. As expected, he has since avoided me. I have many ideas about how to get his attention but am doing my best not to create a hostile situation. I'm guessing that many of you have experienced something similar and thought you might have some suggestions about what to do next. Thanks for putting up with the long post but I wanted to give some background and let you all know just a little bit about where I'm coming from...of course there is a great deal more to be told. And again, thank you.
John