Confrontation
I make two very hard decisions last night. One of them is of the confrontation. I was planning of that, in some form, next month when I know I will see my old coach at competition. However, I decide I will not go there, that is other decision, and one that does not belong here for discussion right now.
HE is here, now, and has already approached me, has already frightened and threatened me, and has already attempted to harm me. Earlier yesterday, after this happen, I am thinking only how I can avoid him next three days I am here, how to not be harmed of him. Thinking in defensive way. Not now. Now it is my turn to be on offensive of this.
I will keep myself safe, and I will not do anything that will get me to trouble. But, he has seen for last time my fear of him. I still have it, I still panic all night of what he do. But he has seen it last time. He will approach me again, I know of it. And I will allow that. Because he will not be seeing scared boy. He will be seeing the man he help create, a very angry man. I will not back off of him again. I will not show him fear again. It is time that he know that other can create fear for him. I do it some with my letter, I know that now. But that is not enough. I WILL full confront him of this, some time in these three days. HE will feel fear. He will NOT hurt me again, he will NOT hurt my student again, and I will do what I can to see he not hurt ANYONE again. His power of me, I am taking back. His control of me, I am taking back. I know that this will not be 'fix' of me, to do this. But I NEED this, I need it much. I will happen. Perhaps later today. We shall see.
THank you all here, to help me have strength to do this. This is what you all help me of, I do not do it alone, and I thank you.
leosha
HE is here, now, and has already approached me, has already frightened and threatened me, and has already attempted to harm me. Earlier yesterday, after this happen, I am thinking only how I can avoid him next three days I am here, how to not be harmed of him. Thinking in defensive way. Not now. Now it is my turn to be on offensive of this.
I will keep myself safe, and I will not do anything that will get me to trouble. But, he has seen for last time my fear of him. I still have it, I still panic all night of what he do. But he has seen it last time. He will approach me again, I know of it. And I will allow that. Because he will not be seeing scared boy. He will be seeing the man he help create, a very angry man. I will not back off of him again. I will not show him fear again. It is time that he know that other can create fear for him. I do it some with my letter, I know that now. But that is not enough. I WILL full confront him of this, some time in these three days. HE will feel fear. He will NOT hurt me again, he will NOT hurt my student again, and I will do what I can to see he not hurt ANYONE again. His power of me, I am taking back. His control of me, I am taking back. I know that this will not be 'fix' of me, to do this. But I NEED this, I need it much. I will happen. Perhaps later today. We shall see.
THank you all here, to help me have strength to do this. This is what you all help me of, I do not do it alone, and I thank you.
leosha