Dear Visitor:
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I don’t need to crawl into bed naked with another man to find out if I am “gay”. In fact, I very much dislike the labeling of human being’s sexuality. I believe the mere sight of another person (especially a naked person) can incite a physical/sexual attraction - and/or - our mental, emotional, spiritual attraction to another person can result in physical “sexual” feelings/attractions to another person – and depending upon the gender of that other person, we form labels and these labels help us to know what we are talking about – but they do not fully define “who we are”.
This does not in any way diminish your experience. I know what my sexual desires are. I also know that I have the prerogative to act or not act on these desires.
Your perspective does not make you right nor does my perspective make me wrong.
Other people do not get to define me nor do other people get to define you. Society, religion, science do not get to tell me what I feel or who I am or why I am the way I am – yes they can help us understand ourselves and the consequences of our actions and beliefs – but in the end, it is we ourselves who are our ultimate judges when we break free from the tyranny of trying to conform “who we are” to what we think the expectations of others are. Responsible people do not act on every feeling or “compulsion”, but neither should we deny those feelings or compulsions – it is for the individual to acknowledge these feelings within themselves as neither good nor evil but as authentic parts of ourselves regardless of where or when we might think those “feelings” originated.... furthermore and perhaps most importantly, we should love who we are i.e. accept who we are and, thus learn to better love/accept others.
It is for each human being to “come to terms” with who they are. That does not mean that we must act on every feeling or attraction; it does mean that we need to acknowledge those feelings without shame or feel or any sort of emotion other than love i.e. full acceptance of “who we are” and then to choose how we act – and that action, I believe, should be chosen in light of what impact the action will have upon ourselves and others.