Coming to terms with rape possible **** Triggers ****
Coming to terms with rape possible **** Triggers ****
- Thread starterduncanUK
- Start date
reality2k4
Registrant
No, just say what you are comfortable with, thats all will happen,
ste
ste
Duncan,
Welcome to our group of friends here. I'm so sorry of the reason you're here, but glad you found us.
If your counselor is a true professional, You'll only have to reveal as much or as little as you are ready to reveal.
Having said that, it is a good thing for a person to talk (in a safe environment) about the things that happened, but only as they are ready too. Your counselor or "T" will be your best resource for helping you through that process.
I have found that if I don't tell it all, it festers inside and leaves me in a mess, but when I talk about things here, or in therapy, or in private conversations with trusted friends, I am able to get it all out in the open where it can be seen and dealt with, processed if you will.
The important thing is for you to take your time and to take care of you.
I wish you good things in the coming year.
Lots of love,
John
Welcome to our group of friends here. I'm so sorry of the reason you're here, but glad you found us.
If your counselor is a true professional, You'll only have to reveal as much or as little as you are ready to reveal.
Having said that, it is a good thing for a person to talk (in a safe environment) about the things that happened, but only as they are ready too. Your counselor or "T" will be your best resource for helping you through that process.
I have found that if I don't tell it all, it festers inside and leaves me in a mess, but when I talk about things here, or in therapy, or in private conversations with trusted friends, I am able to get it all out in the open where it can be seen and dealt with, processed if you will.
The important thing is for you to take your time and to take care of you.
I wish you good things in the coming year.
Lots of love,
John
Kirk Wayne
Registrant
Duncan
You may not realise it but you have done the hardest thing of all, you have disclosed to us and that takes great courage and more than just a bit of trust. I often say when talking about my abuse that it did not take much courage I looked upon it as a nessesity as I had three options, drink myself to death, try suicide again or go insane either through drink or drugs.
I felt I had knowhere left to run I had runout of places to hide inside my mnind, I was making life hell for my wife so I had to tell someone, unbeknown to me in 1985 I first disclosed to the woman I now regard as my adopted mother whilst I was steaming drunk, I conciously perted someinformation to my future wife to see how she would react and when drunk once gain i came out with the first real disclosure after watching a television programme that featured my most well known abuser. I then clammed upabout it again until 1997 when a well known UK pop start was jailed for downlaoding indecent images of kids.
I had been clean and sober for about 18 months so I had nothing to fall back on oblivion was no longer an option as I had just started university as a mature student, I smoothered my triggers and flashbacks with my studies but it eventually wore me down and just prior to sitting my final year exams I read in The Guardian newspaper an interview my original abuser had given to a journalist whilst in pranac prison in the Czech republic he had been convicted of running a paedophile ring and running a CP production company. I caved in emotionally and the only option left open to me was to spill the beans .... thank god I did (and I am by no means a religious person) as it was then that I started to recover. As far as recalling everything I could it had to be done so the police could build a solid case against my abusers so in some ways when I had to divulge all the crap in counselling it was a lot easier than I think it would have been if I had to start telling "cold". Counselling was hard but I would not have swaped it for anything as the pros far outweigh the cons. I dont usually do advice but I say this find a counsellor that YOU feel you are able to trust and talk with do not be fobbed off by any old Tom, Dick or Harry.
Take it easy
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
You may not realise it but you have done the hardest thing of all, you have disclosed to us and that takes great courage and more than just a bit of trust. I often say when talking about my abuse that it did not take much courage I looked upon it as a nessesity as I had three options, drink myself to death, try suicide again or go insane either through drink or drugs.
I felt I had knowhere left to run I had runout of places to hide inside my mnind, I was making life hell for my wife so I had to tell someone, unbeknown to me in 1985 I first disclosed to the woman I now regard as my adopted mother whilst I was steaming drunk, I conciously perted someinformation to my future wife to see how she would react and when drunk once gain i came out with the first real disclosure after watching a television programme that featured my most well known abuser. I then clammed upabout it again until 1997 when a well known UK pop start was jailed for downlaoding indecent images of kids.
I had been clean and sober for about 18 months so I had nothing to fall back on oblivion was no longer an option as I had just started university as a mature student, I smoothered my triggers and flashbacks with my studies but it eventually wore me down and just prior to sitting my final year exams I read in The Guardian newspaper an interview my original abuser had given to a journalist whilst in pranac prison in the Czech republic he had been convicted of running a paedophile ring and running a CP production company. I caved in emotionally and the only option left open to me was to spill the beans .... thank god I did (and I am by no means a religious person) as it was then that I started to recover. As far as recalling everything I could it had to be done so the police could build a solid case against my abusers so in some ways when I had to divulge all the crap in counselling it was a lot easier than I think it would have been if I had to start telling "cold". Counselling was hard but I would not have swaped it for anything as the pros far outweigh the cons. I dont usually do advice but I say this find a counsellor that YOU feel you are able to trust and talk with do not be fobbed off by any old Tom, Dick or Harry.
Take it easy
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
Duncan,
Kirk gives some good advise. Make sure your "T" aka therapist is someone you can trust and relate to. Anything else is not being fair with yourself.
Lots of love,
John
Kirk gives some good advise. Make sure your "T" aka therapist is someone you can trust and relate to. Anything else is not being fair with yourself.
Lots of love,
John
reality2k4
Registrant
John, this peasant country means you get whats available if you can get it at all.
There is more available to women and kids, but its like gold dust trying to find a therapist unless you pay, or start hurting yourself.
We are the largely silent third world,
ste
There is more available to women and kids, but its like gold dust trying to find a therapist unless you pay, or start hurting yourself.
We are the largely silent third world,
ste
Hi everyone
and thank you once again. In away this has been therapy and I could not have done it alone. I really hate what is going through my mind.
*** Trigger Warning ***
So here goes..... The two "monsters" forced me to suck their cocks one at a time whilst the other rubbed mine and tried to get me hard( I hate this...) the only taste in my mouth was stale urine and i cannot get rid of it...... then they took it in turn to fuck me and all the time they said horrible things to me.
They made me ejaculate and told me that i must of enjoyed it as i have cum. They then started "fucking" me again to see if they could get me to cum agin(I so hate myself)
I have tried suicide on numerous occasions the last one the police got involved and i ended up telling them.........
and thank you once again. In away this has been therapy and I could not have done it alone. I really hate what is going through my mind.
*** Trigger Warning ***
So here goes..... The two "monsters" forced me to suck their cocks one at a time whilst the other rubbed mine and tried to get me hard( I hate this...) the only taste in my mouth was stale urine and i cannot get rid of it...... then they took it in turn to fuck me and all the time they said horrible things to me.
They made me ejaculate and told me that i must of enjoyed it as i have cum. They then started "fucking" me again to see if they could get me to cum agin(I so hate myself)
I have tried suicide on numerous occasions the last one the police got involved and i ended up telling them.........
reality2k4
Registrant
Duncan, the subject is highly triggering to me and others, otherwise I might have posted more.
Get the test done, dont keep putting it off, I did for years.
Tell yrself to do it k,
ste
Get the test done, dont keep putting it off, I did for years.
Tell yrself to do it k,
ste
Kirk Wayne
Registrant
Duncan
I have on my desk the book Resources fo Survivors of Abuse within the UK. if you would like to PM with the appox area in which you live ie: South Yorkshire, Humberside etc or your nearest big town PM and I will look up as to what is in your area or there is another organisatio based in London that would be able to furnish you with any information you seek ... they are the National Asscociation of People Abused in Childhood(NAPAC)they are an excellent resource headed by a guy called Pete Saunders who is a survivor himself and a really nice guy, they can be found here:
https://www.napac.org.uk/
Take it easy
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
I have on my desk the book Resources fo Survivors of Abuse within the UK. if you would like to PM with the appox area in which you live ie: South Yorkshire, Humberside etc or your nearest big town PM and I will look up as to what is in your area or there is another organisatio based in London that would be able to furnish you with any information you seek ... they are the National Asscociation of People Abused in Childhood(NAPAC)they are an excellent resource headed by a guy called Pete Saunders who is a survivor himself and a really nice guy, they can be found here:
https://www.napac.org.uk/
Take it easy
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
I am so sorry to everyone if I am triggering events for them. I did not mean it. I just cannot stop it in my head.
I dont know who I am half of the time. I have one side that is all pleasant and the other is horrible. I just cannot stop myself. I know that everyone is being so helpful and I am greatful.
Perhaps it would be better for me not to post what is going on in my mind, but I say that and find it difficult to do so.
I dont know who I am half of the time. I have one side that is all pleasant and the other is horrible. I just cannot stop myself. I know that everyone is being so helpful and I am greatful.
Perhaps it would be better for me not to post what is going on in my mind, but I say that and find it difficult to do so.
Duncan,
It's OK to talk about these things here. That's why we're here. You may want to consider putting a "Trigger Warning" on your posts if you feel it may be disturbing to some of us, but you need to and are welcome to say what you need to say here. Those who see a trigger warning will move on to other posts if they feel they are not in a place to read what you say. So post away, Friend. It's OK.
and ste, you said
Lots of love,
John
It's OK to talk about these things here. That's why we're here. You may want to consider putting a "Trigger Warning" on your posts if you feel it may be disturbing to some of us, but you need to and are welcome to say what you need to say here. Those who see a trigger warning will move on to other posts if they feel they are not in a place to read what you say. So post away, Friend. It's OK.
and ste, you said
I understand. And we have some liberal politicians in this country who want to make the British style of healthcare available to all of us. I hope they loose on this count at least!
Lots of love,
John
reality2k4
Registrant
Duncan, its not OK to not bother posting.
Its just this time of year, I just want to be on the other side of the holidays like most of us.
Just carry on,
ste
Its just this time of year, I just want to be on the other side of the holidays like most of us.
Just carry on,
ste
Kirk Wayne
Registrant
Duncan.
All you need to do is put in the heading of your post the words "trigger warning" that will warn those of us who are in a fragile place at the moment to be prepared to be triggered, thats all. I hope that you will continue to post here. If you wish you can PM me and have a good old rant as I am very hard to trigger nowadays although I do still get them but they are mainly new ones that have emerged, I now know how to deal with them, and I know that they cannot hurt me anymore ....... same as flashbacks.
Take care
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
All you need to do is put in the heading of your post the words "trigger warning" that will warn those of us who are in a fragile place at the moment to be prepared to be triggered, thats all. I hope that you will continue to post here. If you wish you can PM me and have a good old rant as I am very hard to trigger nowadays although I do still get them but they are mainly new ones that have emerged, I now know how to deal with them, and I know that they cannot hurt me anymore ....... same as flashbacks.
Take care
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
Kirk Wayne
Registrant
SteOriginally posted by reality2k4:
John, this peasant country means you get whats available if you can get it at all.
There is more available to women and kids, but its like gold dust trying to find a therapist unless you pay, or start hurting yourself.
We are the largely silent third world,
ste
I know how you feel about resources here in the UK and I know people need to know of the total lack of resources but we really do have to be positive here, I know how you feel about our MP's as does the majority of the country but there are some good ones (mine espcially) who are taking the lack of resources seriously. My MP is conservative and I am in no way a supporter of their policies but they are onto something with regard the lack of action by Blairs government with regard CSA, they are on a steep learning curve. As I have said before we have to communicate with the politicians as it is the only way we are going to change things. Write to your MP if they do not repond make an appointment to go and see them at their weekly surgery if they still do not repond get on to your local press, we really have to get off our collective backsides and start telling them how CSA affects society in general. How many of those ill fated murdered Ipswich working girls turned to drugs to smoother their poor self worth through CSA?
Apathy is not an option here.
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
reality2k4
Registrant
Kirk, my MP is a heavy weight in parliament, a woman of fomidable stature.
I am going to run stuff with her, and make sure she is true to the cause.
Good job I never got help as a kid, because I would be totally wrecked by the response I would have got.
The point of referral should be with a GP, and maybe a psyche doc, and not just let you find your own way,
all the best,
ste
I am going to run stuff with her, and make sure she is true to the cause.
Good job I never got help as a kid, because I would be totally wrecked by the response I would have got.
The point of referral should be with a GP, and maybe a psyche doc, and not just let you find your own way,
all the best,
ste
endlessjourney
Registrant
Duncan,
There are many therapists out there that can be beneficial to you. Its important to distinguish the ones that are good for you as opposed to those that aren't. I found a therapist that effectively helped me to change my life. From him, I've learned to vent anger and sadness in a positive way and learned to regain my dignity and sense of security.
Also, I would highly recommend getting tested soon as Ste was saying. It is no use to let yourself wallow in fear when you may be completely healthy. I know how you feel. I got tested one day because I heard that a girl that with had contracted HIV. I was stupid and didn't use protection. I learned that before I was with her, she was a stripper who did quite the significant amount of drugs. I thought "god knows where she has been". Well, I was tested and it came up negative. I know that sometimes, we just don't wanna know. However, the question stays in us forever and builds itself up. Its a rough life always wondering "is there something wrong with me?" Good luck. Be strong!
Much love,
JASON
There are many therapists out there that can be beneficial to you. Its important to distinguish the ones that are good for you as opposed to those that aren't. I found a therapist that effectively helped me to change my life. From him, I've learned to vent anger and sadness in a positive way and learned to regain my dignity and sense of security.
Also, I would highly recommend getting tested soon as Ste was saying. It is no use to let yourself wallow in fear when you may be completely healthy. I know how you feel. I got tested one day because I heard that a girl that with had contracted HIV. I was stupid and didn't use protection. I learned that before I was with her, she was a stripper who did quite the significant amount of drugs. I thought "god knows where she has been". Well, I was tested and it came up negative. I know that sometimes, we just don't wanna know. However, the question stays in us forever and builds itself up. Its a rough life always wondering "is there something wrong with me?" Good luck. Be strong!
Much love,
JASON