Coming Back

[bkeithb]

Greetings all,

While no one here demands explanations, I feel the need to share why I have been missing in action, so to speak, from the MS discussion board.

Bottom Line - I was overwhelmed. Having only begun to deal with my SA in the last 6 months or so, I just could not handle a steady dose of SA related reading/discussion.

As I kept reading new folk's posts, and all the pain in their lives, I just couldn't see an end to it all. Reading all this kept my own wounds fresh. It was like rubbing salt into the wound to continue coming back day after day.

Further, I began to question wether it was healthy to center my identity on being an SA survivor. Is this horrible experience what made me "me?"

So I struggled. I made a conscious choice to stay away from MS believing I could just get busy at work or with life and move on from all of this. Perhaps, I thought, now that I've explored the ramifications of my SA, I can accept it as a part of my past, acknowledge its effects, and "get over it and move on."

Well, friends, I have come to several conclusions which I will now share:
1) MS is a healthy place to share, learn, and be supported. Thank God for this web site!
2) SA, while not one's chief indentifying characteristic, is so emeshed in who I am that I can never just "get over it and move on."
3) To get healthy, I need to share with my wife, read good books, and perhaps start therapy.

So, I'm back. I may not come here daily, but I will come back often. Thanks to those who kept in touch with me while I was missing in action (JIM!).

Thank you for your support. I want to be supportive of you all as well.

BLESSINGS!

 

[ScottyTodd]

bkeithb - We all need our time to step back and examine our life! I'm glad you wrestled with your issues and are more committed and ready to work on them. Yes, this is an incredible site. It's amazing what standing together and supporting each other can do to change lives!! Welcome back, brother!!

Howard

 

[ForeverFighting]

I'm glad you're back, Keith. It's good to take a break every now and then. For me, it helps me collect a whole plate full of issues to discuss with my therapist. But you're right. Ignoring them doesn't make it go away. At least not for us. I ignored my family problems for 25 years, and it obviously didn't work. Then I dove in and looked at my family in an honest light and realized that I could change. Maybe I couldn't change anything else, but I could change me. And I'm doing better now.

Take it as slow as you need. We're here to listen and support you through this.

 

[MB57]

I find this web site is gift from god. I am able to work on my issues. I was not even aware SA was cause of my problems. After going through articles on the site and experiencing the emotional pain of the child hood, I am working throgh the issues. I infact made hell lot of recovery with out Therapy. I regained my low sex drive ( which always thought was physical/medical issue. ). My wife was stunned at the progress. These posts allow me to relive my child hood and work through the emotion. It is pain ful. But necessary evil. I cried a lot, literaly shook of fear, journalled my feelings. After about few months I started yawning lot when i feel my hidden emotions. To my surprise my mind figured out my sexual confusion. I am working on inter personal issues at work etc.. I am putting conscious effort to relate the issues to SA and resolve. It is helping a lot. Even though i do not recommend self help to others, I say this site is great place to be in. Thanks a zillion to organization and the people posting on the board.