Closer to the end (POSSIBLE TRIGGERS!)

Closer to the end (POSSIBLE TRIGGERS!)
C

crisispoint

Registrant
Well, thanks to a miniature flashback (Thankfully, these things are nowhere near as intense as they were. Or maybe they're just too familiar now :( ), I've come closer to the end.

A mixed blessing, since either version, as different as they are, involve violence, threats, conflicting feelings of love, and a new twist, complete humiliation.

While I accept a general "truth" (for lack of a better word) of the end, it just bugs me that my mind twisted events so bizarrely. Whichever is the fact, I altered the other one dramatically in my mind, and now I just don't know what's "real."

Bugs me, that's all.

That, and the fact that the @$$hole's fate is still unknown to me.

I wish I knew. I wish I knew everything.

Peace and love to all who come here.

Scot
 
Our minds are wonderful machines, they can do so many interesting things.

I think that what we do with it is more important than what was done. We have been given a burden, but how we carry it and how we use that to help others is more important.

Knowing everything does not necessarily help. A couple of years back I asked my mom what had happened to my molestor. The answer was ok i guess, but not totally satisfying. If such were possible. It seemed like so little given what had happened with my life since then. I have come to the conclusion that justice is not for this world. We can work towards it and do our best to deliver it, but in some things there will not be justice in this world.
 
Our minds are mysteries, they can do good things or not so good things. I know not totally remembering seems like a curse, but in a way I believe it is a blessing also, because your mind determined that you are not ready for the truth yet, but you will be ready and your mind will unlock all its secrets to you in time. Right now just relax and 'go with the flow,' everything will be revealed in time, not in your time perhaps but in time it will be. Just let the memories you have be it for now, and let yourself feel the peace that comes with knowing any part of the truth.

scott
 
Lupin,

No, my God, dear friend, no. I've been near what you're afraid of, but not now. I meant the end of my abuse. How it ended.

Perhaps I should've chosen my words, better. I see that now. No, Lupin, I'm not going to kill myself. Admittedly, I've been at that point a few times, but not now. And since I haven't acted on it in recent years, it isn't a concern for me now.

Trust me, tho. I'd ASK for help here or at a hospital before that happens.

Thank you for the concern. I'm sorry if I scared you. That wasn't my aim.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
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