Clergy Survivors (Should be a Forum Topic)

I feel like the idea of creating a safe space to discuss clergy abuse triggered the dissolving of rooms. :(
 
I feel like the idea of creating a safe space to discuss clergy abuse triggered the dissolving of rooms. :(
I think it was already in process. MS has NEVER acted this fast. (no offense)
 
As a person who is very active on the boards, I'm well aware they move slowly. It is rare when there is a large number of men present and posting. I'm reminded of conversations in Overeaters Anonymous where meeting attendance was not especially dynamic before COVID and the question came up about how to encourage more participation. I don't know if it a matter of finances because there doubtless is a cost to keeping this website going. That is one of the reasons I encourage folks to become members. I want to support it. All that said, I'm not sure what is motivating administrators who are making these decisions. Trying to drive traffic would seem to the least important concern but there may be forces at play here we don't understand.
 

C. E. (Chase Eric)

Administrator
Staff member
Can you please let us know which subforums you are thinking of dissolving?

Because honestly, I suspect you're thinking of dissolving the ones I use the most.
As I mentioned above, we have no specific list nor has it been determined we will even do so. We are watching to see how well prefix tabs work and I imagine that will take several weeks if not months. The concern we have is based upon input by some registrants that feel some subforums simply seem too quiet and empty compared to the main forum. Many have felt ignored. If a registrant used prefix tabs in the main forum vs the equivalent subforum, would the greater traffic in that main forum result in a greater level of support? That is the question we would like to see resolved. For me personally as a moderator and as a survivor, it is about being heard, seen and supported. That is such a bottom line that I personally saw to it that every post in every forum - along with every view count - be preserved in the migration to this new platform. It was painstaking work (especially as volunteers), but we managed to preserve every single post in every forum along with their view counts all the way back to the discussion board's inception. That's the wordy way of saying that I respect and even share your concerns. But please know that preserving every voice here has been a mission we take very seriously.
 

C. E. (Chase Eric)

Administrator
Staff member
My response above is a knee-jerk, that inner boy feeling shut down -- so that's what you're hearing.

I just made a post to demonstrate where I think tagging will not work for all cases. I like the feature, I do, but it's not a safe space. Still bothered about the value placed on "Traffic Deserved" when it's not about the traffic. At least in a dedicated room is away from all the noise and feels safe? I don't know . . .
Actually, it is about the traffic. This site runs on participation. Traffic means people - it means eyes reading a subject, posting a response, and ultimately providing support and encouragement. You put it in different words - "target-rich subject area" (although not a choice of words I would use) - but perhaps we are saying the same thing. With concerns from registrants that their posts are not being seen in the smaller subforums, we are simply trying to find a better answer. Everyone who comes here deserves to be seen - they deserve the traffic of readership and response that will do that. If prefixed tags allows registrants to be seen in a larger space with more "traffic" - that means more support.

At this point, we have tags for most of those smaller forums which will give our registrants an opportunity to choose to either remain in the sub-forum they may already be using, or take the opportunity these tags give them to bring their conversation to the main forum - to the rest of us. Let's see in the weeks and months ahead how that goes. If people prefer to use the tags and take the conversation to the greater forum, that simply gives them another choice. We have no plans to remove any existing forums- and certainly will not do so if they are still used despite the tags.
 
Target rich - Target group, rich content. I have considered any feedback or participation rich because there is usually always something to learn. I hear you on the traffic, I was looking at it from your point of view and the feedback you've received.

I'm pleased to hear others will get to maintain their space, that has to feel good. I was also regretting bringing up this suggestion because it was suggested MS was looking at dissolving topic areas.

I'm at least grateful that you've included Clergy Abuse as a tag.

- Scott
 
Well, I went back and looked at all of my own threads to see which ones in the "Male Survivors" forum I could label with ANY of the current labels (pretty easy task using the "filter" feature at the top of the page).

I was only able to label a few posts (mostly clergy abuse), but gave me ideas for additional labels beyond what has already been created. I added those suggestions to the new "Label" post.
 
What seems important in this conversation is that we all want a website that makes it easier for us to find the conversations that are meaningful to us so we can share our experience with those who know the pain we carry. We are all male survivors, but our experiences are all unique. We know the basic categories... we were abused by men/boys or women/girls; we were abused at home/church/school/neighborhood/community by family members, authority figures, friends, strangers. To me traffic is less important than the opportunity to go deeply into conversations with those really committed to unpacking their trauma and finding a way through it. Like many here I make the effort to welcome newcomers and I always encourage them to become familiar with the many forums that exist on the site. We know that stepping forward and telling someone about our experiences of trauma is terrifying for most men. Helping them to feel welcome is really important... but we know full well that not everyone who shows up here is ready to take the next step. We can see post counts which tell us how active a person has been and we can see when last the person was on the board. A great many men post once and then disappear... whether for a short or long time we won't know.

I feel no obligation to give everyone who comes to this site my attention. I would say to those who feel frustrated that men are not engaging with them that they should spend more time on the board... to read what others are posting so they can identify kindred spirits. When they do they can join conversations and get to know the men here. It is when we get to know one another better that conversations can deepen. That enriches the site for everyone. Make it easy for us to find kindred spirits and everyone will be happy.
 

Jim Nobody

Registrant
I think the spirituality section is for the topic of relation, not for those who have been abused by members of the Clergy.
 
Well, I went back and looked at all of my own threads to see which ones in the "Male Survivors" forum I could label with ANY of the current labels (pretty easy task using the "filter" feature at the top of the page).

I was only able to label a few posts (mostly clergy abuse), but gave me ideas for additional labels beyond what has already been created. I added those suggestions to the new "Label" post.
A good idea, I went through and tagged my previous posts related as well.
 
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