Christmas guilt; grief


It's Christmas and I feel a little guilty that I miss my nanny (who died December 26, 2004) more than my mother, who is still alive. Anyone else experience this? I feel I "should" not only miss my mother but that I shouldn't miss a non-relative even more. I was raised with a strange sense of "do everything for family no matter how they treat you, but don't love anyone else" mentality.
If your Nanny was more caring and motherly than your actual Mother, it's only natural & logical to miss her more. While you may have a mom you might be missing or grieving all the would've, could've & should've' beens and a bunch of shouldn't haves.

I've fallen into the trap of way over investing in family members because they are "blood" too many times. Every time I finally saw beyond my rose colored glasses for what the real situation was with them, how it was one sided and being taken advantage of I've cut it off with them. Harder to do I guess with a mother, I imagine, than a toxic aunt or cousin.


I cut off my parents, and siblings. I miss my grandpa and grandma who loved me.

Your nanny was your emotional mother. It's natural to miss the one who loved you. I don't miss my parents at all.