Christmas and crying

[MrDon]

Last night we were out doing some shopping and stuff and actually bought a christmas decoration that will be displayed in front of our house. A first for both of us. Don't know if I can post a picture up here easily, but may try to do so after we get things done. We bought one of those reindeer that light up and moves it head like it is grazing.

Anyway, we were walking through a store and I'm having a fun time feeling like a little kid with christmas. See, when I was a kid, my mom always made a big deal out of it. We never had any money to buy stuff but somehow she always made it special and that is one of the things I really loved about my mom.

We got to the isle and I saw all of the christmas stockings (especially one that said 2003) on it. For some reason I remembered my little christmas stocking that my mom had made for each one of us. It had our names sown into it and every year from before I can remember until I moved away my mom would fill that with candy and all kinds of goodies. I don't recall if she actually made the christmas stocking or not but I think she did. That image was so vivid in my mind.

Well I almost started to lose it because it hurt so much thinking about this. I so badly want my mom back. I want to talk to her or just hug her. I'm in tears right now trying to write this. I miss her right now during christmas. She and I had such a special bond at christmas because while the rest of my family didn't want to really join the things she did, I always had fun with her.

The other night I was watching CNN Larry King Live and this lady who talks with people that have passed to the other side was on. I wish I would have seen this earlier but I was too late. I so badly just want to hear from my mom. I never got to say good bye to her before the accident and it really hurts.

Last year my mind was so occupied with school that I didn't really have time to think about my mom being gone. But this year, it is like I'm getting a double dose of it. I do go out to the park and talk with her from time to time and it wasn't too long ago that I was there.

I'm just sharing this because I know this isn't very easy for me right now. I just miss her and want to hear from her so badly. For now, I will put the decorations out and maybe she will enjoy them as well.


Don

 

[Whicker]

Don,

I believe that the Spirit of those who pass before us is capable of looking 'down'(?) from up high, and check in on us from time to time.
So talking to your Mom, or maintaining a ritual like decorations for the Holidays is a way to stay in touch.
Don't forget prayer, of whatever Faith you may have.
They can hear us, and I believe want to see us happy in this life.

Whicker

 

[Stephen_5]

Don,

This Christmas is going to be difficult for me too. The holidays were never easy for me. My birthday was right before Christmas which didn't do much for my mood either. This is the first Christmas without my wife. The first of many. I don't know what to do. I know that I'll be here on Christmas day because of my two girls and my granddaughter but I just want to run away afterward. I made it through her birthday, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. I'll make it through Christmas too but it hurts so much. She always made the season so cheerful for everyone. She had a collection of Santas that we'd add a new one to every year. I found something the other day. I bought a Santa teapot for her after Christmas last year in anticipation of Christmas this year. I want to smash it. Her life ended and that tradition ended with it. I can't stand to see all the decorations up around the nieghborhood I don't know if I'll even put up a tree or anything else.

I know that it will get better in time, but this year it's just too much.

Take care,

Steve

 

[Lloydy]

It's pretty much the same here, I lost my father in law a few weeks back. My wife lost her dad.
They were very close, as I was, but they had something special.

We're clearing his home out now, so our house looks like a ransacked charity shop. We haven't bought a thing, prepared anything or even planned time to start.
All the other family who usually end up at our house on Christmas Day are not going to be around for different reasons this year - so we have two alternatives.
Cancel Christmas at our house and A. Go to the pub for lunch and a few beers, or B. Gatecrash all our our friends !

Howabout A. AND B. ?

Dave

 

[MrDon]

Whicker,
I believe they are around us.. it does help me to get through all of this knowing that in my mind. I hadn't thought of the things I did for Christmas as being a way to honor my mom. Thanks for sharing that with me.

Steve, I know exactly what you are saying. It all makes so much sense to me.

Lloydy, I say drink several beers, pop some christmas crackers and go gatecrash your friends! Sounds like a hoot to me!