Eddie:
No need to apologize - as the others said, you can edit it out. However, after I read it, I was left with some insight into your life and the struggles you have gone thru.
I want to say this publicly for the benefit of anyone struggling through our healthcare system, and if you would like to further the discussion, I invite you to PM me since it would be off-topic.
I know that many of us who are survivors have many health care issues that may or may not be by-products of the emotional distress in our lives. I have found through hard experience that our health-care system in the US is great as long as you are healthy. But, once you have serious health problems, it is very easy to become mired in a tangle of red tape, HMO bull****, and decisions made by people who are not much more than those interested in the financial bottom line of the insurance companies.
Without going too far off-topic, I cannot stress enough how important it is to become your own advocate. When it gets to the point that your voice isn't being heard, then it's time to get a reputable attorney. I'm not a litigious person, but sometimes we need someone to fight on our behalf.
Now, to the original posting - Michael Joseph - You have learned such an important lesson in life - and that is to be true to yourself. Unfortunately, there are so many people in this world living a lie - a facade - either because of their own fears and prejudices or because of the consequences from those around them who refuse to accept the beauty of individuality.
You have chosen the more difficult path (IMHO), but one that will bring you to old age without regrets. Sometimes it may seem easier to conform to what society wants us to be, but in the end, who wins?
To me, it is far more important to live a life of truth, a life of following your heart, a life where you are kind to others and show them the same respect you would wish shown to you. How much more noble can that be?
You have found something far more precious than any riches on earth - yourself.
SD