Childlike behaviors...

Childlike behaviors...
S

Sick Puppy

Registrant
I wonder if I am alone in this.

I have some behaviors left over from childhood. I suppose I never dropped them like other kids do because they helped me cope with the abuse. It's very embarassing to have them even though they do not usually meet the public eye.

For instance, when I am very upset or stressed I still suck my thumb. I try to do this only when I am alone because it's pretty weird for a 23 year old man to be sucking his thumb! I also sleep with a stuffed dog that I have had since I was young.

When I am very agitated I will rock myself slightly backward and forward. I have seen children do this but never an adult. I remember doing this, more pronounced, when I was a kid, and banging my head against the wall. These were some of the reasons they thought I was autistic for a while, but they decided I wasn't.

It is just things like this, that are left over from childhood. Sometimes I still fear monsters in the closet or under the bed. I guess some part of me never grew up.
 
SP. There is a part of yuou that is still an innocent child and that is how it manifests itself. Be happy that it is there because some of us have to really search to find the little us. It is ok to do it and be that way. Grown men even cry you know. It also means, I think, that you are determined to heal and let that little sp out to have some fun. Fun that he deserved from the start.
Why do you think I snowboard at 62 and mountainbike. It is for the teenager in me that never had fun. He and I are doing it together now.
Revel in it.
Your brother
Mike
 
Man, I still sleep with my teddy bear. It gives me a lot of comfort. And I don't think there is anything weird with that. I also wouldn't be suprised if a lot of guys here still do that.
mike
 
I guess some part of me never grew up.
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When you get to my age you make sure you never grow up ! the older I get - the dafter I get. :D :eek:

But seriously, why wouldn't we have hangovers from our childhood ? these 'behaviours' were probably our way of either hiding, or communicating, our emotions and feelings. Some kind of display I guess ?
And we carry so much from our childhood into adulthood, maybe more so as survivors ?

I still have some toys from my childhood, but unfortunately not my stuffed cat that disintegrated, I still miss him.

Can anyone remember the old post someone put on the forum about whether to throw out the remains of his old and much loved stuffed rabbit ? that was a good topic about this but I can't find it.

Dave
 
Dave,
Wasn't that Brian-Z? I'm not too sure but I thought it was him. By the way, I haven't seen him around here in awhile.
mike
 
Hi all,

Yes, that post about the Rabbit--he siad it ws NOT a bunny, was by Brian Kelly. He is really working on a lot of things and won't be here for quite some time.

Puppy, the things you mention sound like generalized anxiety to me. Many, if not all of us, survivors suffer from that to a degree. It is a natural reaction to the trauma we suffered. You are not being childish in the least. You are getting some comfort from behaviors you used in the past when you were afraid. Nothing at all to be embarassed about.

If I did not have such a small bed I would love to have a huge teddy bear to be with me. I think I will look for one. And NO, I am NOT having my second childhood.

Bob
 
CSA of any kind in some way to some degree robs one of their childhood. Many adult survivors of CSA find themselves stuck at the emotional age of their CSA, or a particular instance of it. Never having had a chance to be a child, no wonder we continue childish or childlike behaviors into adulthood!

Many of the ways in which I now act out or react toward others are responses out of my lost childhood and the inner child doing what he still thinks he needs to do to survive what he went thru long ago (real long, for me!). Even these I can learn from as I grow out of them.

Some of the childlike things I still do are actually quite healthy and perhaps a lot more "normal" adults could stand to try them!

For me, it goes back to my present recovering adult self reparenting (or in my case parenting, I never really had parenting) my inner child who is stuck in that abuse past. I'm trying to pull Little Victor into the present with me so he/we can grow together into healthy adulthood that never loses the sense of wonder & joy & fun that should always go with being a child. Or an adult.

I still watch cartoons, the good old Looney Tunes, Tom & Jerry. I also have stuffed Taz's. If people want to call that childish I'll consider it a compliment.

When I was in the Air Force, I got into a routine where I would try to be the 1st one into one of the TV lounges and turn on the Three Stooges at 1500 hours (that's 3 PM EST!).

At first guys would come in & give me weird looks. Some would head off for another TV, some would try to get me to change the channel, some would just sit & watch--often acting like they weren't paying attention to this "childish foolishness."

It wasn't long before rather large groups of men
were running for the TV lounge about 1500 hours to make sure they could watch the Three Stooges!
Guys would be bopping each other on the head and going "nyuk nyuk nyuk!" and the whole bit!

Why? Becuz everybody needs to be childlike, have fun, and laugh. It's darned good medicene. Beats the tar outta any medication I've ever tried!

Victor
stooges.sml.gif


Victor
 
Vic'
that's the coolest graemlin yet ! where do you get them from ?

Dave.
PS.
Oh yes, doing kids stuff. I love it, anything to raise a good laugh will do. Guess who starts most of the mud fights when we're out in our 4x4's ?

I've just discovered it's good to play, and I ain't gona stop.

Dave :D
 
Dave:

This graemlin is found on page 22 of the
"Animated Smileys" section of the only graphics site I have in my favorites now becuz I just found it and it's very comprehensive:

https://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/

Disclaimer: Some of the graphics might be inappropriate or triggering for some; they are mostly in the XSmileys or some in the Pictures sections, which I don't use.

Bro keep having that good clean fun starting mud fights! Sounds like a blast!

Maybe we could toss some mud pies back & forth at each other across the Atlantic.

stooges.sml.gif


Don't say I didn't warn you! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! :D

Victor
 
Originally posted by Wuamei:
I still watch cartoons, the good old Looney Tunes, Tom & Jerry. I also have stuffed Taz's. If people want to call that childish I'll consider it a compliment.
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I do too. I even tape all the same exact shows I watched as a kid (w/ Tivo), watch them in a row on Saturday mornings like I did. I don't feel bad about it, but then I never thought of it as a remenanant of the past.
 
I still rock myself to sleep. If I don't rock, I'm up late until I am so tired I sleep anyway. when I was in the marine Corps I learned to get by on 3 - 4 hours of sleep a night.
 
You can't throw away your memories, good or bad. Your childhood is apart of who you are. If something gives you some comfort, like rocking your self to sleep, then do it.
 
where oh where can my underdog be? remember that one? My personal fav. Three stooges. My ted.
lego blocks. ATari, N64, inline sk8, snow sledding, snowball fites, i gotta blankie too, that my Memere made for me back in 1976, red white and blue. When I am really down, where do i go? TV, put in old underdog tapes, wrap up in my blankie, snuggle with ted. And my wife thinks I'm whacked, but you know what I don't give a shit anymore. It's better than getting drunk, stoned or whatever else. It's just me, and guess what, I'm not the only one. HA

peace

Orodo
 
I have two stuffed dogs I like to sleep with and hug when I am sad... one is named Max. I got him when I was very small. I named him after the Grinch's dog, because I used to love that movie where the Grinch tried to steal Halloween. I don't remember what it was called. I guess it was a sequel to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. My second dog is one I got as a birthday present from my boyfriend and its name is Kenny, as a tribute to my father (his name was Ken.) :)
 
When I first started to read your post I thought I was going to trump you at being the weirdest, you got me, we have the same habit.

However I am 57 yrs old, and I am typing one handed because my
(L) thumb is plugging my face. After these 57 years, this left thumb is
slightly smaller than my right, I guess I have some potent saliva.

Like you, no one is priveledged to see this behavior except for years back
in a regressive therapy session.

I think it is a symptom of generalized anxiety for me.

My parents tried to break me of the habbit when I was 7 with chemicals
but I just stopped doing it around them.


Another habit that I share with at least one other survivor is that I always
wear a t-shirt under my shirt. I used to never wear a t-shirt as a shirt until
the last few years but even then I wore a t-shirt under a t-shirt. It is all about
bad body self image.

My friends incesting mother would comment about his body and that was
why he covered it as much as he could. I dont remember my incesting mother
commenting about my body, but I felt I needed to hide it.

It is not uncommon for someone to comment on my wearing a t-shirt when
it is 105 degrees outside.
 
This is probably a little off topic but I understand 100% about the body image thing. For most of my adolescence I wore this big green army-type coat (about 5 sizes too big) no matter what it was like outside. I'd wear it even in the hottest summer months. It covered my entire upper body and ended below my knees, and I felt safe inside it... kinda like a big cocoon. This was during middle school and high school so I was made fun of a lot for it. I still have the coat and wear it in the winter sometimes.
 
RJD and SP,

I never made the connection until reading your posts, but my wife complains all the time about me wearing long pants and long sleeve shirts in the summer. We had a big fight on vacation in Florida a couple years ago over this. We got to her Mom's house in S.C. and I found that she had unpacked my flannel shirts. I hit the roof. I went out shopping then (July, in Columbia) and managed to find some long sleeve shirts.

I claim they're to protect my skin from the sun. She says, "Use sunscreen." Now I wonder if there's always been another reason. I know I never liked my body. I shower in the dark, usually with my eyes closed. That's to save on electricity, BTW. And I don't like glare. (Yeah, right, uh-huh.)

DENIAL Don't Even Notice I Am Lying (to myself, that is.)
 
Brian
How are you doing friend ? Good to see you back.

Dave :)
 
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