Child abuse prolonged into adult years

Wolfg

Registrant
My name is Wolfgang. I am a UK resident. I am a survivor of childhood sadistic sexual
abuse starting at a very early age, and carrying on into teenage and adult years. The
abuse created a dissociative identity phenomenon which meant that a part of me –
which always remained that 3to13-year-old – would comply with unwanted sexual acts
while the rest of me knew nothing about it afterwards. The phenomenon was created
by the abusers deliberately in order to make the ongoing abuse possible. The
phenomenon represents a very specific form of dissociative identity disorder (DID)
as my alter only existed in situations of sexual abuse. Allow me to share my story!

My alter was created during a series of violent gang rapes. The first rape I have clear
memories of now took place somewhere between ages 3 & 5. The abuse got intense
around age 3 but started earlier. The scenes were so overwhelming that I had to dissociate
them. From that point on, it became possible to trigger my dissociated alter and his
compliance with unwanted sexual acts by simply re-staging certain key elements of
the original scenes. Thus, the ongoing DID precisely represented a forced repetition
of repressed trauma.

During those gang rapes I was beaten, whipped, raped, pet-played, forced to masturbate,
forced to perform oral sex, shitted and pissed on & other typical sadistic stuff; like having to
say exactly what they want me to say "you are my queen" whatever, "Yes, I want it", "Please
more!", and so on. All non-consensual.

Over the years, I attracted numerous abusive people who knew how to trigger my
dissociative identity phenomenon and even stalked me for it. As an adult I simply repeated
my childhood trauma in a dissociated state when my childhood trauma was staged. I was
totally broken by childhood sadistic sexual abuse. I didn't know about it. I ended up being
constantly surrounded by people who exploited my trauma.

My childhood trauma had been staged by some teachers, priests, etc. Finally, I was abused on
stages in clubs, & in other public & semi-public places. I was sex-trafficked to celebs, royals,
and other people of public life. First time, I had been sex trafficked was in my native Austria
starting at around age 13; later in Germany, Thailand, & the UK.

Upon "seeing" my trauma, the dissociation phenomenon started to disappear.
 
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I am just in awe of a man like you who endured what you endured and is still fighting for the life you deserve. You are a brave man.
 

Wolfg

Registrant
Thank you .. I am certain there will be justice .... u see a lot of perpetrators of the first years never left. Some of them followed me to different countries to assault me etc.

Some literally stalked me for decades

I have won a number of petty court cases now, and I am still filing more of those ... this is against stalkers on a civil law level to make them f.. off a bit ... and it works ... just a couple days ago I won against somebody and it was labeled under "unsocial behavior"

so, it is taking just a bit longer than I thought. But the first criminal court case isn't that far away anymore
 
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Wolfg

Registrant
just before christmas ... (it wasn't possible to abuse me in a dissociated state anymore) ... my stalkers tried to pin on me that I am harassing women in public. They had help from local police ... it was a hilarious attempt and they failed

And now they have a court ruling against them that says "unsocial behavior" against me is taking place
 
Wolfg,

That is a great deal of stuff you had to endure, over a long period of time, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for that, The circumstances are not exactly aligned but I too had to deal with several individuals, who even when I got older liked to rub it it about that they had done. The important thing here is what you make it through all of that, and it sounds like you are going to take actions that will make them responsible or what hey did. So, for now you have to worry about yourself and moving past this. I know there must be a great deal of anger involved and that is hard to hold back. Your overall well being and healthy future are very important too. I hope, you can find some peace eventually from these terrible ordeals, you are in a safe place here. I hope this is not breaking any rules, but if it is the individuals attempting to hack your CCTV, I just happen to know a guy good with that stuff, me. It is what I do and if you fear this will continue I would be more than willing to share my advice and expertise on the matter. I hope you feel better and things are brighter for you soon.

Respectfully,
jperkey010101
 
Wolf, wow, you are a brave and strong boy and now man for making it through that. I'm sorry you had to withstand all that. I am glad you are safe now, and continue to be safe. Let us know how we can continue to support you.
 

Sherlock

Registrant
Hi wolf,

I hope being able to see everything and avoid the dissociation helps in some way. I often wonder if that will ever be the case for me, if the fog will ever lift. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you are in a safe place now.
 

Wolfg

Registrant
So hi again all,
I have been attacked twice recently. And, have been abused inside and outside my apartment. I have made a preliminary police report. Am in contact with what is I believe a detective, and all is good ...
Will let you know. w
 

Healing light

Registrant
Hi wolf I'm sorry to hear that I'm glad you have contacted the police
In the UK there is something called target hardening and it is done by the police and council they make your property safer I have it in my property , if you have an police officer you can talk to it might be worth asking about.
Do take great care wishing you peace
HL
 

Wolfg

Registrant
So yes. I am safe now. Thank you. Professionally I am going thru a change right now. But, it is very positive. I am in contact with the specialized unit police. With a lady named Paula. And, is all very ok. And, is all good.

Last time it had happened was a bit over a year ago. Summer 2019. Since then I had relative peace until these 2 attacks now. Now, I am safe.
 

Wolfg

Registrant
So yes. I am safe now. Thank you. Professionally I am going thru a change right now. But, it is very positive. I am in contact with the specialized unit police. With a lady named Paula. And, is all very ok. And, is all good.

Last time it had happened was a bit over a year ago. Summer 2019. Since then I had relative peace until these 2 attacks now. Now, I am safe.
As for the dissociation, the memory of it took about 2 weeks to come back.
 
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