check mate

[1lifenow]

FROM JOE KORT< courtesy, Huffington post, gay voices:

Seeking sex with men does not make a man gay. Sexual orientation is a complex state of being. You aren't gay because you "act gay." You're gay because you are gay. When I examine a man who's questioning his sexual orientation, I ask him about childhood abuse and other traumas that can lead straight men to seek sex with men. I've also developed a checklist of characteristics of gay men to help me with diagnosis. These characteristics go beyond mere sexual acts. Here is a simplified list:

-The beach test: Gay men see the men on a beach, not the women.
-Youthful noticing: Before puberty, gay boys notice other boys with a kind of giggling delight, just as straight boys do girls.
-Waking up: Straight guys, even those who have sex with men, don't want to wake up next to one.
-Falling in love: A gay man can fall in romantic love with a man; straight men don't.
-Romantic hopes and dreams with a male partner: After a period of promiscuous "gay adolescence," a gay man will yearn to "settle down."

Gay sex not degrading: Straight men sometimes interpret gay sex as humiliating. Gay men find it fundamentally joyful.
Homophobia: If a gay man is repressing his gay identity, he is often negative about gay people and the "gay lifestyle."

Thats when I finally KNEW, when i dreamed about waking up in a man's arms.

 

[Logan]

Maybe this is not such a bad thing.

One can look at this in many ways, one of them as being a really good discovery in that you finally now know who you want.

1st, There is absolutely nothing wrong withe being gay or Homosexual!
2nd, although I don't know your particular history, Maybe you can now spend more of your time in trying to regain a healthy sense of your masculinity.
Yup, that's right, I said Homosexual and Masculinity together. Just because you maybe Gay does not mean that having a healthy sense of your masculine identity is not important!

I think that That is Important for all Male CSA Survivors, albeit Gay or Staight... Or even Bisexual-Joe Kort Says that it does truly exist and therefore, him being the expert on the subject, I believe him. That being said,
I know that reclaiming my own sense of Masculinity is extremely important for me to do and continue to do. My sense of self and identity were all but stripped away from me when it was just forming or had even begun to form..... Maybe that is what has led to the confusion with you on the SSA vs. homosexual Identity, but here I am only speculating.

Anyway,
I guess Congrats are in order on figuring it out for yourself. Like I said before, This could be a good thing. You could think of it positively.

All the best,
Logan

P.S. Would you mind giving the link to the full page of comparisons of gay guys vs. straight guys? I think that could be very helpful for many ppl here.