Can I Trust The Police??

solitaryman

Registrant
I was raped a few weeks ago, by a stranger I had befriended. My assailant is a regular at a bar where the owner used to be a cop. The ex-cop is still tight with others in his precinct, and also seems to be friends with the assailant (he has his number in his phone). The night of the assault began at that bar, and then the assault itself happened a couple of blocks away, in the area of this ex-cop's precinct. My concern is that the bar owner could pull some strings to shut my case down.

After I made my statement at the precinct a couple of days ago, the detective said "We only have his first name, so we may very well never find him." After the second time he said this, I spoke up and told him, "Well, I gave you the address of his high rise, so couldn't you just get his apartment number from the landlord?" He said, "The landlord may not cooperate." I continued, "Ok, well the bar owner knows him and has his phone number." Again, he says the owner may not cooperate. I'm thinking, 'Surely the court can order people to cooperate....surely police could just wait outside of the building until he walks out.' It was just very odd, and now I don't know if I can trust him.

Minutes later, it sounded as though he was trying to convince me not to press charges. He told me that victims often change their minds about pressing charges, so he'll check back in with me after the investigation. He also warned me that court will take years and that defense lawyers will be merciless on me. He said nothing positive about what I was doing. He also said the investigation would take a long time and not to hold my breath to hear back from them basically. I asked, "How long? Like a month?" He said, "Yes, it could be about a month."

Could anyone share any thoughts that might help?
Thanks!
 
sounds messed up i would contact the DAs office and bypass the cops and yeah it sounds like they dont want to do anything at all and it sounds he is really trying to discourage u perhaps he dont want any light shined on the bar as its owned by an ex-cop and who knows ur perp may be an ex cop too at this point i'd think about a private detective to get the guys name and some pictures of him to give to the DA and the courts..........good luck
 

solitaryman

Registrant
sounds messed up i would contact the DAs office and bypass the cops and yeah it sounds like they dont want to do anything at all and it sounds he is really trying to discourage u perhaps he dont want any light shined on the bar as its owned by an ex-cop and who knows ur perp may be an ex cop too at this point i'd think about a private detective to get the guys name and some pictures of him to give to the DA and the courts..........good luck
Thanks. That's good advice. It's nice to hear someone say that
 

earlybird

Registrant
I did not go to the police so I have little experience to your question. However, not being taken serious is one of the most frustrating and dehumanizing thing we have to deal with. I wish you well on your journey.
 

The Bluefoot

Registrant
I don't know where you live state or country. BUT the DA will help you with as little info you got. Thou the more the better. A private eye is a good route to go. To get pictures and last name. I would not give up it sounds like the bar owner maybe involved as well.. Please be careful and let us know what happens.
 

solitaryman

Registrant
I don't know where you live state or country. BUT the DA will help you with as little info you got. Thou the more the better. A private eye is a good route to go. To get pictures and last name. I would not give up it sounds like the bar owner maybe involved as well.. Please be careful and let us know what happens.
I'm in Canada, so we have Crown Attorneys. I think that's the same thing. So you can reach out to them about a police report before there are even charges laid?
Thank you for the advice.
 

4women

Registrant
do you have a version of the state police? In the USA we have city police, county sheriffs and state police. A few times where I live, people had to go to the state police to get things done where the city wouldn't (of course it was drug related and some of the city police were in on it).
 

solitaryman

Registrant
do you have a version of the state police? In the USA we have city police, county sheriffs and state police. A few times where I live, people had to go to the state police to get things done where the city wouldn't (of course it was drug related and some of the city police were in on it).
That's interesting. Yes, we have provincial police and city police. I suppose I could consider going to them.
 

solitaryman

Registrant
The police haven't done a thing yet, so I decided to make some calls and try to collect the evidence myself. One of the calls was to my assailant's apartment complex to try and find out how long they keep surveillance tapes. I made the mistake of telling them the exact date I needed, and they came back an hour later and told me they only have footage from the laundry room (??). I asked, so....you don't have cameras anywhere else?" She said "yeah, we do...but there's no footage from those on that day." I was really confused, so asked again "So they're not functioning?" She answered, "Not then, no."

I told her, "If you'd prefer to speak with the detective, I can get him to call you....if that's what this is about." She said, "No, that's not it."

Last thing I asked her was whether there was at least a surveillance camera outside. She said no.

I thought proving I was in the building would be the easiest part. But this is ridiculous. It's not like a delapitated building. It's fairly nice. It's very difficult to believe what she's saying, and the way she said it was sketchy. I hope she hasn't gone and deleted the tapes to keep her building out of being involved. Maybe I was naive to call. Not having a good day.
 

solitaryman

Registrant
1 month passes - I ask how the investigation is going. He says fine. When I ask him what he's done, he says "lots." Did you go to the apartment building?" I ask. No. He hadn't spoken to a single witness, tracked down or even requested any video footage. Hadn't interviewed the doctors at the hospital or collected the panicked audio recording from the rape hotline I had called. All he said was "It's not like on tv."

I started trying to do investigating of my own. I spoke to the landlord to try and get potential footage, I tried to access the building's list of occupants to find out how many people had his first name. After some weeks trying to get a hold of the hotline recording, they had told me that the tape had just been deleted. They only keep them for 30 days or so.

2 months pass - I contact the detective again. He is irritated just to hear from me and gives me a hard time, says that the investigation will be resolved when it's resolved. In this time, he still has not contacted or been to the apartment building, which is something that could have been accomplished in 1 hour. The only thing he actually had accomplished was to start investigating ME. He contacted my best friend who had been with me earlier that night to make sure our stories matched (despite him not being a witness to the assault) and to ask for screenshots of a week's worth of texts we shared. I was furious that he'd decided to waste his time on that, rather than to give me the benefit of the doubt for 1 hour.

At 3 months - I contacted him and to get me off of his back, he revealed to me that he believes he found the man. He refused to provide further details.

At 4 months - I get a call from the detective. He bluntly says he's closing the case due to insufficient evidence, primarily the DNA testing from the hospital (and clothing swabs), which we'd told him from the start would show nothing as I had showered in that time for fear of getting AIDS. He had those lab reports months earlier. He tried hard to keep the call as brief as possible, but I asked "Did you interview the assailant?" He says yes, but refuses to tell me a single thing that was spoken. He became very aggressive with me, and basically said "Sometimes it doesn't go the way you expect. You're going to have to get used to it, and try and live on." The call lasted about 3 minutes, but only because I asked a few questions. He did not explain whether all of my evidence (detailed statement, witnesses, official photographs of my injuries, etc.) had been rejected or proved to be insufficient, he would not explain what his investigation entailed. He refused to provide me with an opportunity to hear or reply to or disprove my assailant's story, and would not answer questions about it, such that I don’t even know if his statement exists. Maybe even more importantly, I was never even brought in to ID the accused to verify whether they had interviewed the correct person!!

Nor did he provide me with instructions on the process of how to appeal the decision. In an annoyed manner, he told me if I had any issues with it, I could call his supervisor.

THE LESSON:
UNLESS YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF YOURSELF GETTING RAPED, DON'T BOTHER WITH THE POLICE. HIRE A PRIVATE DETECTIVE!
 

Matt78

Registrant
1 month passes - I ask how the investigation is going. He says fine. When I ask him what he's done, he says "lots." Did you go to the apartment building?" I ask. No. He hadn't spoken to a single witness, tracked down or even requested any video footage. Hadn't interviewed the doctors at the hospital or collected the panicked audio recording from the rape hotline I had called. All he said was "It's not like on tv."

I started trying to do investigating of my own. I spoke to the landlord to try and get potential footage, I tried to access the building's list of occupants to find out how many people had his first name. After some weeks trying to get a hold of the hotline recording, they had told me that the tape had just been deleted. They only keep them for 30 days or so.

2 months pass - I contact the detective again. He is irritated just to hear from me and gives me a hard time, says that the investigation will be resolved when it's resolved. In this time, he still has not contacted or been to the apartment building, which is something that could have been accomplished in 1 hour. The only thing he actually had accomplished was to start investigating ME. He contacted my best friend who had been with me earlier that night to make sure our stories matched (despite him not being a witness to the assault) and to ask for screenshots of a week's worth of texts we shared. I was furious that he'd decided to waste his time on that, rather than to give me the benefit of the doubt for 1 hour.

At 3 months - I contacted him and to get me off of his back, he revealed to me that he believes he found the man. He refused to provide further details.

At 4 months - I get a call from the detective. He bluntly says he's closing the case due to insufficient evidence, primarily the DNA testing from the hospital (and clothing swabs), which we'd told him from the start would show nothing as I had showered in that time for fear of getting AIDS. He had those lab reports months earlier. He tried hard to keep the call as brief as possible, but I asked "Did you interview the assailant?" He says yes, but refuses to tell me a single thing that was spoken. He became very aggressive with me, and basically said "Sometimes it doesn't go the way you expect. You're going to have to get used to it, and try and live on." The call lasted about 3 minutes, but only because I asked a few questions. He did not explain whether all of my evidence (detailed statement, witnesses, official photographs of my injuries, etc.) had been rejected or proved to be insufficient, he would not explain what his investigation entailed. He refused to provide me with an opportunity to hear or reply to or disprove my assailant's story, and would not answer questions about it, such that I don’t even know if his statement exists. Maybe even more importantly, I was never even brought in to ID the accused to verify whether they had interviewed the correct person!!

Nor did he provide me with instructions on the process of how to appeal the decision. In an annoyed manner, he told me if I had any issues with it, I could call his supervisor.

THE LESSON:
UNLESS YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF YOURSELF GETTING RAPED, DON'T BOTHER WITH THE POLICE. HIRE A PRIVATE DETECTIVE!
I am so sorry that they treated you so horrifically. Your story confirms the worst fears that I had about dealing with the police. It's enraging that they investigated your whereabouts. God, I am so sorry.
 
sounds like the blue wall of silence is going on here (cops dont snitch on cops) its time to go to higher up's and fast, dont give up get a lawyer put in a request for statements from the local cops about what went down you may have a suit for their mishandling of the investigation point out the fact that ex cops were involved try to find out the relationship the bar owner has with current cops and their superiors may be friends, relatives etc, dont give up and let them win also be careful driving if you see the cops around they may harras you , be careful.
 

solitaryman

Registrant
I am so sorry that they treated you so horrifically. Your story confirms the worst fears that I had about dealing with the police. It's enraging that they investigated your whereabouts. God, I am so sorry.
Thanks for your understanding, Matt. I never expected them to fully believe me, but I just never expected them to completely dismiss it.
 

solitaryman

Registrant
sounds like the blue wall of silence is going on here (cops dont snitch on cops) its time to go to higher up's and fast, dont give up get a lawyer put in a request for statements from the local cops about what went down you may have a suit for their mishandling of the investigation point out the fact that ex cops were involved try to find out the relationship the bar owner has with current cops and their superiors may be friends, relatives etc, dont give up and let them win also be careful driving if you see the cops around they may harras you , be careful.
Thanks for the tips, Betrayed. I'm filing a complaint with the agency that watches over the police. I'm going to try and get a new investigation going. I just don't have money to sue the cops. I wish I did. I tried to start a gofundme, but I guess those only work when you share it with a lot of people you know, and I didn't want to do that.
 

NotAshamed1962

Registrant
I told a therapist of my abuse (by a family friend, 25 years older than me) 22 years after the event.

I was called the next day by the Indianapolis Police Department asking if I would meet with them. When I did, I told them everything my 6 year old self could remember.

They told me they would try to dig up info on him (we was a dentist by then).
They called me a few weeks later and said they came up empty-but would keep the report on file. They offered to get me therapy if I wanted….

I’m sorry your experience was so painful.
 

solitaryman

Registrant
Thanks, NotAshamed.

That's really interesting what happened to you with the police. I guess perhaps the therapist was required by law to report it?

Anyway, I'm surprised they came back to you with nothing as well. They couldn't find him?
 

Bornfree

Registrant
I was raped a few weeks ago, by a stranger I had befriended. My assailant is a regular at a bar where the owner used to be a cop. The ex-cop is still tight with others in his precinct, and also seems to be friends with the assailant (he has his number in his phone). The night of the assault began at that bar, and then the assault itself happened a couple of blocks away, in the area of this ex-cop's precinct. My concern is that the bar owner could pull some strings to shut my case down.

After I made my statement at the precinct a couple of days ago, the detective said "We only have his first name, so we may very well never find him." After the second time he said this, I spoke up and told him, "Well, I gave you the address of his high rise, so couldn't you just get his apartment number from the landlord?" He said, "The landlord may not cooperate." I continued, "Ok, well the bar owner knows him and has his phone number." Again, he says the owner may not cooperate. I'm thinking, 'Surely the court can order people to cooperate....surely police could just wait outside of the building until he walks out.' It was just very odd, and now I don't know if I can trust him.

Minutes later, it sounded as though he was trying to convince me not to press charges. He told me that victims often change their minds about pressing charges, so he'll check back in with me after the investigation. He also warned me that court will take years and that defense lawyers will be merciless on me. He said nothing positive about what I was doing. He also said the investigation would take a long time and not to hold my breath to hear back from them basically. I asked, "How long? Like a month?" He said, "Yes, it could be about a month."

Could anyone share any thoughts that might help?
Thanks!
I wanted to report my family doc a few years ago of rape, but because I'm now living in a different part of the country, like some 5000km away, they can't press charges from here, I have to go to the location where it happened and press charges there. Some help that is! And, this doc was questioned by the police many many years ago about his sordid tales of sexual abuse, but somehow he got off. His working partner did not get off so lucky, they threw him in prison! Wish they could have done that with my family doc.
 

KMCINVA

Registrant
I was raped a few weeks ago, by a stranger I had befriended. My assailant is a regular at a bar where the owner used to be a cop. The ex-cop is still tight with others in his precinct, and also seems to be friends with the assailant (he has his number in his phone). The night of the assault began at that bar, and then the assault itself happened a couple of blocks away, in the area of this ex-cop's precinct. My concern is that the bar owner could pull some strings to shut my case down.
Solitrayman,

It is a very difficult situation especially since the owner is a former cop. I do not know if times have changed but in the past cops protected cops. I was recently reminded of events that I was not part of nor did I witness. I know the family and have learned of the abuse that did occur and was denied or should I said buried. Sadly, the abuse damaged others and one that created a difficult and triggering world for me. You are facing challenges and triggers.

The father was a former cop and neighbors called police because of the commotion and screaming and crying I was recently told. The father was the abuser, the cops came and nothing became of it. I only learned of these stories as a result of CSA and survivors network despite knowing the family for over 30 years. Abuse stories of their relative who lived in the same house were silenced. Remember this was in the 1970/80's and maybe cops today would be different. However, the responses you received made me think the police did not want to pursue to keep the bar out of the press, bad for business and the owner. Will the police actively investigate and put pressure on the owner. I would hope so.

You have shown courage to go this far, reporting the rape. You deserve justice as do all survivor and abuse victims. Only you know your inner strength and ability to pursue all avenues. You do not want to put yourself in an position of fear, regret or questioning yourself to trigger the past that shuts you down. I wish I had a clear answer for you.

Kevin
 
Top