Casey,
Here is my take on masculinity. Its just put out there, just the points, no polishing. (Im not writing a paper
)
Masculine, or the qualities appropriate to men, is taking care of the family structure without regards to what others think. This includes the spouse/significant other, children, and yourself.
Body image is vanity. Your body is what it is, you cant change the overall build. To be buff, or whatever it is called today, for the attraction of attention is rejecting yourself for what others think. You can and should maintain your body for health reasons. i.e. keeping it from becoming overweight to the point it causes health problems and restrictions, maintaining your cholesterol levels to prevent heart attacks and strokes, and so on. Its back to the original statement of taking care of yourself without regards to what others think.
Crying, I will put under all other emotions. Emotions are something that we all have, regardless of gender, race, creed, or upbringing. They should be allowed to be shown and understood by ourselves. There are times that we need to show some restraints on them, such as not showing fear while you are calming a scared small child. Showing and acknowledging your feelings is taking care of the emotional you. Acknowledging your feelings and understanding them, results in being able to express them in a constructive manner, such as, being angry, but not striking out either physically or verbally. Thus resulting in a psychologically healthier you so you can care for your family structure.
One thing you didnt mention is spiritually. Regardless in ones faith, this is something that we as
men shouldnt ignore. It provides a good value structure to pass on to our children and show ourselves and our family. Teaching them, by word, spirit, and example the difference between right and wrong. That there is something greater than ourselves, but that we are great in our own right. To be humble, not arrogant.
Being a father is the greatest measure and greatest reward. Being a man is taking care of that child with your whole being: heart, body and soul. Heart - to love your childre and being able to show them that and have them be able to feel it. Body - taking care of your body to be there to show them that, being
there for them when they
need it (not when you or they
want ). Soul - the total dedication of yourself to taking care of the children for their well-being. It is making the connection to your children through everyday things - changing diapers and feeding them, talking with them about their day and helping them with their homework, teaching them the difference between right and wrong, not passing on your own prejudices, disciplining them when they need it and teaching them so they wont need that. So much. There is no
mans job and
womans job .
Being a husband/significant other. Putting the bond between the two of you before her/his and your
wants. To put the needs first. To be yourself to allow them to be themself. There is no embarrassment in being a good partner. That means allowing them to help you when you need it and helping them when they need it. It is doing a million little things to show you care, without expectation of anything in return. It is going to the store to by the blue box with the yellow shwoosh of tampons. It is making dinner and doing dishes. It is taking out the garbage when it is full, not waiting to be told. Again, there is no
mans job and
womans job .
Overall, it comes back to taking care of yourself and your family, whole heartedly. It is not caving into what others feel you should be or be doing.
That's my two cents worth,
Bill
