calling all christian survivors

calling all christian survivors
As you may have already seen, my Christian Testimony is listed here.

Another thread of mine with strong spiritual content is my Review of the Film “The Shack” (2017), which can be found here.

Thank you @victor-victim for “resurrecting” this thread.

There are many Christians currently active on MS, so I hope they share, as well.

I currently have TWO therapists, 1 is a Christian the I go to for “general” therapy, but I have a 2nd who is a PTSD specialist, though NOT a Christian. It is nice having both perspectives, but Christian PTSD Specialists are extremely hard to find in my area (or ANYWHERE). So it is nice to balance things. I have my own way of screening through the PTSD “mumbo jumbo” and figure out how to make sure things do not clash with my Christian beliefs - so far we have been VERY successful in navigating this and the PTSD Therapy (currently using a mixture of CRM & Huna Therapy) has been EXTREMELY helpful.

I also currently attend a Christian 12-step group (PM me for more details - they are a nation-wide group) - even though it is not CSA-specific, I still find it helpful and I have met a few attendees who are also CSA (men and women).

I am actively involved in (and a member of) a non-denominational church. (this church is separate from the church that hosts the above mentioned 12-step group). Also involved with this church's Men’s ministry which has helped me a lot on my own Healing Journey. This church also heavily emphasizes Home-Based Small Group Bible Studies (10-20 attenders at each home) that mean on various days during the week - this models closer to the first century church model and is a great way to get tied in with a small group of believers who can love and support one another.

I, too, use Bible translations in other languages to help learn that language better (for OPSEC reasons, I will not give specifics).

Favorite English Translation is NLT but I enjoy looking at other English versions for Reference (ESV, The Message, Amplified Bible)

I do not wish to speak about too much doctrine on this site, but focus on how faith in Christ can help me and us on our Healing Journeys.
 
I don't fit comfortably into the 'christian' box for various reasons. I expect the outsider tendency may have something to do with that on the negative side of "not fitting in" partly due to CSA, but on the positive side, I've been a reluctant pioneer into biblical truths that have been absent from most of christian history. I enjoy the gems I've found while I was only very good at being an outsider, but am finally reaching a time where I can count myself in. It has been a long journey and my Quick Fix addiction has held me back for years. I am also part of a 12 step and have benefitted tremendously. I'm pleased it is not a christian one as that could have made it a distraction for me at this time. I have never wanted to be controversial or a trouble maker but it is amazing how easy it is to put your foot in it (at least for me). Asking the wrong questions can get you rejected and I was always hypersensitive to that, so off I would wander "outside the camp" on my adventures. There was nothing I wanted more than to fit in the h-huddle. What I'd have done to belong! That was one of the idols I had in my life (well I'm still working on with my Higher Power)

Back in the late 80's I had life-saving help from Pastoral Care Ministries (Leanne Payne) - for the first time in my life I understood what buried/unhealed memories could do - little did I know how many buried/unhealed memories there were under the concrete of my denial. I am so grateful for that help and other christian help I have had. The main challenge I have to christians in this area is in their expectation of a Quick Fix recovery and healing - trust takes time to grow - especially with an Invisible Power. I always felt rushed (not all their fault). I will never forget the healings I saw and the change people experienced back then. Most of the ministries that were available have been persecuted out of existence. The x-gay stuff in the 80's - 90's was a mixture - I skirted the edge of all that as it seemed to go against my desire to be fixed now - why would I want to join something I was almost beyond? Now the secular world is doing some amazing work to help those with SSA!, up against opposition as it is. That also took some time for me to adjust to. When you are ready you'll take the help where you can get it.

As a family it has been over 20 years since we have been to church and are unlikely to ever do that again. We are connected to fellow pioneers and a wide variety of Christians locally. Our understanding of "church" has changed so much that we don't try to explain it unless we have to for one reason or another. I suppose it is enough to say here that we meeting in each other's homes.

I made a friend here on MS about 2 years ago and he encouraged me so much by his desire to be faithful to his trust in Messiah. I so wanted to test that friendship by opening up about the gems I mentioned above but I am pleased I held back and he was ok with that all being left a mystery. As a child belonging came at the price of not talking about the abuse and other things(death of my Grandma, dark secrets or anything apparently negative). Holding back has been for me like not belonging. I'm moving on. I had people who were not very biblical but were supposed to be, on a pedestal (I had everyone on a pedestal) it took a long time to regain respect for them after I saw that 'little old me' could see their errors. Through the addiction and other suffering I have been able to appreciate people of all kinds - though on the other hand my respect for the establishment in the West: Government/Education/"Science"/Police/etc has plummeted. :) Above all The Maker is finally winning over my fearful heart to letting Him be the management of my life. Not quite the Quick Fix - 34 years after supposedly giving my life into His hands. I believe in miracles but my favourite takes the longest time.

Thanks to all of you who's trust in adversity has rubbed off on me over the last 9 years. And thanks to The Almighty for being Almighty.
 
victor-victim said:
hopefully this does not offend anyone.
i was trying to do this before, but the thread got hijacked, and now it is blocked.
people were arguing with each other and they were ignoring my posts. i think the point was missed.

are there any Christian survivors out there?

i am a serious student of the bible who is seeking fellowship in the holy spirit with other survivors of sexual abuse.
in this specific thread, i would like to share my speculations about scripture, salvation, sex, sin and other spiritual matters within the context of Christianity, with other Christians, in the name of jesus, and glory to jhvh.

the bible is very important and helpful to me, and has become an integral and essential part of my healing and recovery.
my conversion and commitment to Christianity are currently complete.
the days and decades of doubt and debate are behind me, and i wish to move forward in faith.

for my sake, i humbly and sincerely beg and request...
to avoid wasting time on hostile debates, may we assume, strictly for the purpose of this thread only, that the bible is the word of god, written by men, but divinely inspired, jesus is the messiah, and jhvh is the creator of the universe.

those are declarations of belief, matters of opinion, religious doctrines, articles of faith, call them whatever.
they cannot be proven and i do not wish to doubt or defend or debate them in this thread.
in this thread, i just want to enjoy my scriptural journey of Christian self discovery and examination, without going backwards over well-travelled territory.
i do not wish to revisit old thought patterns.
i get tired of explaining and repeating myself.
it is not my job to convert or convince or coerce anyone into my corner.

i also do not wish to spend time in this thread blaming the bible and criticizing Christ and judging Jehovah for sins and crimes committed by Christian members of various Christian churches, corporations, congregations and cults.
that too has been sufficiently discussed in other forums and threads.

bad people are everywhere, especially in churches.
it behooves us to bathe the baby, flush the feces, dispose of the diaper, but keep the kid.
every secular or spiritual organization with authority and access to children is a target for undercover pedophile infiltration.

the christian religion does not own the rights to ignorance, intolerance, arrogance, negligence, prejudice, hypocrisy, or even evil.
that is a human problem.
humans are flawed, and social organisms are an order of magnitude worse.

ironically, i first learned to question authority from words attributed to jesus. just the little bit of bible i had read as a kid gave me the skill to recognize, and the courage to challenge the obvious hypocrisy and corruption i saw with my own eyes. i admired jesus as a rebel, but denied his divinity.

one thing i noticed was that very few christians i spoke to, knew what was in the bible.
hardly any of them read their own holy book.
it made me believe they were not serious or sincere about their belief.

i did not start with the bible, i ended up there.
i had run out of options.
it was my least favoured choice,
and it was my last choice.

surprise!

reading the bible gives me great joy and comfort, and i would like to share that experience with other eager bible students.
so, strictly for the sake of this thread, i would respectfully request that we assume that jhvh and jesus and the bible are not responsible for the sinful acts of free will committed by individuals or institutions.


this is not meant to insult.
i am only trying to establish parameters.

i repeat.
hopefully this does not offend anyone.

_____________________________
other christian threads on this website
Love in Scripture
Bible Study Notes
History of the Bible
The Gospels in History
The Bible - Believe it or Not
Meditations on Ecclesiastes
Book of Revelation
Calling All Christian Survivors
Bible Study for CSA
Food For Thought
The Devil is Real
Spiritual Armour
Matthew Movie
Baptism
Having Faith
Finding Strength Through Faith
Fear of God=Beginning of Wisdom
Power of Prayer
Healing Through Forgiveness
Click to expand...
Thank you and I'm a Christian as well and the Word of God has brought me through many problems. I can't thank Jesus enough for what He has done for me. The reason why I'm a transwoman is because there is a scripture in the Bible that say "if a member of yours lead you astray cut it off".
 
victor-victim said:
still looking for fellowship.

"Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." - Jesus

"If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." - John

Bible Verses About Fellowship: 21 Scripture Quotes

Eph. 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Read This and many other Bible Verses About Fellowship.
www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com
Click to expand...
Victor,

I’m also a Christian. There was a time when I was a lot stronger in my faith; or perhaps complacent in it. I really love fellowship with believers that understand this struggle.

Sean
 
I am a Christian as well and I don't know any Christian male survivors except for here. I lost my faith because of what happened to me but I found it again
 
I've always had my faith but at time Satan's demons tested it many times along the journey I've taken. I really understand what Paul wrote about "I do the things I should not do and don't do the things I sould do. Keep praying and waiting for God's answers. It may take awhile for you request to get there and the answer to come back. This is because the fallen Angeles that fly between Heaven and Earth. They just like to hold things up and to see if you'll give up the struggle.
 
victor-victim said:
hopefully this does not offend anyone.
i was trying to do this before, but the thread got hijacked, and now it is blocked.
people were arguing with each other and they were ignoring my posts. i think the point was missed.

are there any Christian survivors out there?

i am a serious student of the bible who is seeking fellowship in the holy spirit with other survivors of sexual abuse.
in this specific thread, i would like to share my speculations about scripture, salvation, sex, sin and other spiritual matters within the context of Christianity, with other Christians, in the name of jesus, and glory to jhvh.

the bible is very important and helpful to me, and has become an integral and essential part of my healing and recovery.
my conversion and commitment to Christianity are currently complete.
the days and decades of doubt and debate are behind me, and i wish to move forward in faith.

for my sake, i humbly and sincerely beg and request...
to avoid wasting time on hostile debates, may we assume, strictly for the purpose of this thread only, that the bible is the word of god, written by men, but divinely inspired, jesus is the messiah, and jhvh is the creator of the universe.

those are declarations of belief, matters of opinion, religious doctrines, articles of faith, call them whatever.
they cannot be proven and i do not wish to doubt or defend or debate them in this thread.
in this thread, i just want to enjoy my scriptural journey of Christian self discovery and examination, without going backwards over well-travelled territory.
i do not wish to revisit old thought patterns.
i get tired of explaining and repeating myself.
it is not my job to convert or convince or coerce anyone into my corner.

i also do not wish to spend time in this thread blaming the bible and criticizing Christ and judging Jehovah for sins and crimes committed by Christian members of various Christian churches, corporations, congregations and cults.
that too has been sufficiently discussed in other forums and threads.

bad people are everywhere, especially in churches.
it behooves us to bathe the baby, flush the feces, dispose of the diaper, but keep the kid.
every secular or spiritual organization with authority and access to children is a target for undercover pedophile infiltration.

the christian religion does not own the rights to ignorance, intolerance, arrogance, negligence, prejudice, hypocrisy, or even evil.
that is a human problem.
humans are flawed, and social organisms are an order of magnitude worse.

ironically, i first learned to question authority from words attributed to jesus. just the little bit of bible i had read as a kid gave me the skill to recognize, and the courage to challenge the obvious hypocrisy and corruption i saw with my own eyes. i admired jesus as a rebel, but denied his divinity.

one thing i noticed was that very few christians i spoke to, knew what was in the bible.
hardly any of them read their own holy book.
it made me believe they were not serious or sincere about their belief.

i did not start with the bible, i ended up there.
i had run out of options.
it was my least favoured choice,
and it was my last choice.

surprise!

reading the bible gives me great joy and comfort, and i would like to share that experience with other eager bible students.
so, strictly for the sake of this thread, i would respectfully request that we assume that jhvh and jesus and the bible are not responsible for the sinful acts of free will committed by individuals or institutions.


this is not meant to insult.
i am only trying to establish parameters.

i repeat.
hopefully this does not offend anyone.

_____________________________
other christian threads on this website
Love in Scripture
Bible Study Notes
History of the Bible
The Gospels in History
The Bible - Believe it or Not
Meditations on Ecclesiastes
Book of Revelation
Calling All Christian Survivors
Bible Study for CSA
Food For Thought
The Devil is Real
Spiritual Armour
Matthew Movie
Baptism
Having Faith
Finding Strength Through Faith
Fear of God=Beginning of Wisdom
Power of Prayer
Healing Through Forgiveness
Click to expand...
Greetings, I am a believer and follower of Christ Jesus, and I've been a member here for a few years. Sometimes I am away from this group for long periods of time, because my life has many ups and downs, and changes in relocating addresses. However, I am presently settled, and I am at home where I presently reside.
I hope this conversation is still open, I see this conversation started over a year ago. Anyway, I do hope to hear from you all.
Lord bless and keep you.......
 
Horizon said:
I am a Christian as well and I don't know any Christian male survivors except for here. I lost my faith because of what happened to me but I found it again
Click to expand...

I kind of relate to Horizon. I believe but I dont enjoy going to church. Currently i just don't feel welcome there
 
GonnaBalright said:
I kind of relate to Horizon. I believe but I dont enjoy going to church. Currently i just don't feel welcome there
Click to expand...
Greetings, GonnaBalright!
I haven't gone to a "organized" institutional church in years.......because of the same feeling as you have had "don't feel welcomed" there.
However, since I've come out from the instutionalized church, my relationship with the Lord is so much more closer, and I'm learning more about Him and His relationship to me. It's all about being one on one with the Lord, and separation is part of it........and trust me I've been through so many varying types of "belief" systems, and some horror stories also.......
Not too many in the "system" can relate to those of us, who have suffered sexual traumas, and other various types of abuses.
 
2Bnormal51 said:
I've been through so many varying types of "belief" systems, and some horror stories also.......
Not too many in the "system" can relate to those of us, who have suffered sexual traumas, and other various types of abuses.
Click to expand...

((((((((((2Bnormal51)))))))))))

I have had some really bad experiences with some of those churchgoers. maybe someday I will be up to sharing more about it
 
GonnaBalright said:
((((((((((2Bnormal51)))))))))))

I have had some really bad experiences with some of those churchgoers. maybe someday I will be up to sharing more about it
Click to expand...
I hear you, no problem......when you feel ready to share, it will happen. We are just getting to know each other, so it is wise to "try" the waters with a new person. I've been there, I've been on guard when meeting new people........I just trust the Lord will guide me, and keep me especially when meeting new people. But sometimes it is a nightmare, for sure!
 
@2Bnormal51 & @GonnaBalright -- perhaps visiting a church and then talking to the leadership (head pastor) about your unique situation. That lets YOU interview THEM so you have a better feeling for how you might fit with the people and their beliefs. I did that early on with my current church's pastor.
 
I haven't read the whole thread, but this is a place I want to be. I basically agree with you although I only speak the English tongue.
 
Raised in a Southern Baptist church I was baptized at 7 and felt I was thrown to hell at 9. Little did I know it was me throwing my self to hell. I am glad to be back reading the bible (have been for the past couple years). Knowing that God forgives. I could not completely catch up on everything but I read up till the Romans and psalms part. I am wondering with as much of a scholar you are @victor-victim what do you think of Ezekiel 38 & 39 applied to today. I recently read a book on it filled me with some hope that Jesus may be coming back soon. But honestly there have been different groups across many centuries saying that forever.

Psalms 20 1-2
The LORD hear thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend thee;
Send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion;
 
I Want 2 Thrive said:
The wife and I are currently church shopping. This past Sunday we went "outside" our comfort zone (Life long Baptist). The Presbyterian church we went to was nice, small but full of life. At one point the preacher was apologizing for having to miss church this coming week. He said he was going on a mission trip to Costa Rica. The purpose of his mission trip was to care for victims of sexual assault.

After the meeting was complete the wife and I hung back to talk to him. I thanked him for his service, as a survivor myself.

I think I may have found a new church home.
Click to expand...


Cool.
 
It has been hard for me to accept God’s love for me for a long time. I have a strong feeling that I could measure up. I felt I could not measure up to my own expectation, or God’s expectations, or my wife’s expectations. I am learning this is a big lie. And I learning to accept myself as a beloved child of God with counseling.
 
Eph320NY said:
It has been hard for me to accept God’s love for me for a long time. I have a strong feeling that I could measure up. I felt I could not measure up to my own expectation, or God’s expectations, or my wife’s expectations. I am learning this is a big lie. And I learning to accept myself as a beloved child of God with counseling.
Click to expand...

Just want to say I feel that way much of the time, but also I know for certain that you are a beloved child of God.
 
thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. i am more into following jesus than ever before. every day i study scripture and pray. i live in an attitude of gratitude all the time. i have never, in my previous life, enjoyed such emotions of ecstasy, joy and peace as i have discovered in christ. unfortunately, i have received a lot of ridicule and persecution since i began to share my truth/testimony. angry atheists and antitheists take offense and attack, even as i strive to love everyone, even my enemies. gott ist gut. gloria a dios.
 
Dear Victor

It's been 7 long years since I joined MS, and you were one of the first to welcome me. You've helped me to understand forgiveness when I truly needed to. In truth you've helped me more than you realise. Not all of us are angry or take offence, don't stop loving everyone.
 
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