calling all christian survivors

victor-victim

Registrant
the word is a good read.
the word is not dead.
the word is what i need.
the word is my daily bread.

the word opens my eyes.
the word fills my ears.
the word destroys my lies.
the word kills my fears.
 

victor-victim

Registrant
SHEKINAH ( "the dwelling"):

In the Targumim. The majestic presence or manifestation of God which has descended to "dwell" among men.

SHOCK & AWE

And JHVH went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night: he took not away the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people.
(Exodus 13:21-22)

And it came to pass, as Aaron spake unto the whole congregation of the children of Israel, that they looked toward the wilderness, and, behold, the glory of JHVH appeared in the cloud.
(Exodus 16:10)

And JHVH said unto Moses, Lo, I come unto thee in a thick cloud, that the people may hear when I speak with thee, and believe thee for ever. And Moses told the words of the people unto JHVH.
(Exodus 19:9)

And Moses went up into the mount, and a cloud covered the mount. And the glory of JHVH abode upon mount Sinai, and the cloud covered it six days: and the seventh day he called unto Moses out of the midst of the cloud. And the sight of the glory of JHVH was like devouring fire on the top of the mount in the eyes of the children of Israel. And Moses went into the midst of the cloud, and gat him up into the mount: and Moses was in the mount forty days and forty nights.
(Exodus 24:15-18)

And it came to pass, as Moses entered into the tabernacle, the cloudy pillar descended, and stood at the door of the tabernacle, and JHVH talked with Moses. And all the people saw the cloudy pillar stand at the tabernacle door: and all the people rose up and worshipped, every man in his tent door.
(Exodus 33:9-10)

And JHVH came down in a cloud, and spake unto him, and took of the spirit that was upon him, and gave it unto the seventy elders: and it came to pass, that, when the spirit rested upon them, they prophesied, and did not cease.
(Numbers 11:25)

And JHVH came down in the pillar of the cloud, and stood in the door of the tabernacle, and called Aaron and Miriam: and they both came forth.
(Numbers 12:5)

And it came to pass, when the congregation was gathered against Moses and against Aaron, that they looked toward the tabernacle of the congregation: and, behold, the cloud covered it, and the glory of JHVH appeared.
(Numbers 16:42)

And JHVH said unto Moses, Speak unto Aaron thy brother, that he come not at all times into the holy place within the vail before the mercy seat, which is upon the ark; that he die not: for I will appear in the cloud upon the mercy seat.
(Leviticus 16:2)

And it came to pass, when the priests were come out of the holy place, that the cloud filled the house of JHVH, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud: for the glory of JHVH had filled the house of JHVH.
(1 Kings 8:10-11)

It came even to pass, as the trumpeters and singers were as one, to make one sound to be heard in praising and thanking JHVH; and when they lifted up their voice with the trumpets and cymbals and instruments of musick, and praised JHVH, saying, For he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever: that then the house was filled with a cloud, even the house of JHVH; so that the priests could not stand to minister by reason of the cloud: for the glory of JHVH had filled the house of God.
(2 Chronicles 5:13-14)

Then the glory of JHVH went up from the cherub, and stood over the threshold of the house; and the house was filled with the cloud, and the court was full of the brightness of JHVH's glory.
(Ezekiel 10:4)

And there was a cloud that overshadowed them: and a voice came out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him.
(Mark 9:7)

While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.
(Matthew 17:5)

While he thus spake, there came a cloud, and overshadowed them: and they feared as they entered into the cloud. And there came a voice out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him.
(Luke 9:34-35)

And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight.
(Acts 1:9)

And then shall they see the Son of man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.
(Luke 21:27)

Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him.
(Revelation 1:7)

And I saw another mighty angel come down from heaven, clothed with a cloud: and a rainbow was upon his head, and his face was as it were the sun, and his feet as pillars of fire:
(Revelation 10:1)

And they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven in a cloud;
(Revelation 11:12)

And I looked, and behold a white cloud, and upon the cloud one sat like unto the Son of man, having on his head a golden crown, and in his hand a sharp sickle.
(Revelation 14:14)

No man hath seen God at any time .
(John 1:18)

No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
(1 John 4:12)

no one knows what god looks like,
but sometimes we get a glimpse of a glimmer of his glory.
unfortunately, our vision is cloudy.
 

victor-victim

Registrant
Submission and subordination
to the one true Father of all creation.
God is my father. Jesus is my master.
God is my creator. Jesus is my saviour.


[font:Book Antiqua]

Exodus 20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother:
that thy days may be long upon the land which JHVH thy God giveth thee.



Ephesians 6
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.



Matthew 23
And call no man your father upon the earth:
for one is your Father, which is in heaven.



John 14:28
Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.


Philippians 2:5-8
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.


Matthew 26:39
And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.


Mark 14:36
And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.


Luke 22:42
Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.


Luke 22:27
For whether is greater, he that sitteth at meat, or he that serveth? is not he that sitteth at meat? but I am among you as he that serveth.


John 5:19
Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.


John 6:38
For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.


John 7:16
Jesus answered them, and said, My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me.


Luke 4:18
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.


Matthew 20:23
And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father.


John 20:17
Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.


1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.


Acts 4:27-30
For of a truth against thy holy child Jesus, whom thou hast anointed, both Herod, and Pontius Pilate, with the Gentiles, and the people of Israel, were gathered together, for to do whatsoever thy hand and thy counsel determined before to be done. And now, Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word, by stretching forth thine hand to heal; and that signs and wonders may be done by the name of thy holy child Jesus.


1 Corinthians 15:28
And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be all in all.


Matthew 6
Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

[/font]
 

victor-victim

Registrant
"[font:Book Antiqua]Do not let this Book of the law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.[/font]"[font:Book Antiqua]Joshua 1:8[/font].

Maybe digesting God's daily bread has been the missing ingredient in growing my relationship with Jesus.

Spiritual digestion takes place something like this: First, I read over a verse two or three times, I chew on those verses until I can put them into words of my own. Then I try answer the question, "What's God saying here?" My next question is, "What should I do differently today because God says this?"

If I'm reading a verse about trials, I take out the word trials and I put in there the trial I'm going through right now. If I'm reading about sin, I put in there a specific sin of mine. If it's about loving people, I put in there the name of somebody I have a hard time loving. Then I ask the Lord to help me carry this word from Him in my heart and in my mouth all day, applying it to the specific life change I believe that word from God calls for.

When I do that, I'm digesting God's life-changing spiritual nutrition. When I turn eating into exercise, I get stronger every day. I was't meant to eat and then just lie down. That's spiritual indigestion and ultimately it's spiritual malnutrition and spiritual constipation.

my own adaptation from a sermon by Ron Hutchcraft
http://mp3.hutchcraft.com/web/awwy/04-14-2014_AWWY.mp3



Spiritual Indigestion Causes upset stomachs and produces lots of gas. This disease is almost always triggered by the preaching of the Word of God. The sufferer has a strong desire for spiritual milk. When they are fed strong meat, the symptoms usually return.

Spiritual Malnutrition The sufferer is unusually weak in the faith and cannot seem to develop a consistent walk with God. This disease is caused by a lack of Bible study and overindulgence in worldly pleasures.

Spiritual Constipation Symptoms are frustration, helplessness, anxiety, and the feeling that you do not have the ability to advance in your relationship with the Lord in your life. You may begin to experience pain down in your soul but cant pinpoint the source of your discomfort.



[font:Century Gothic]Spiritual literature can be a great aid to an aspirant, or it can be a terrible hindrance. If it is used to inspire practice, motivate compassion, and nourish devotion, it serves a very valuable purpose. If scriptural study is used for mere intellectual understanding, for pride of accomplishment, or as a substitute for actual practice, then one is taking in too much mental food, which is sure to result in intellectual indigestion. [/font]
Prem Prakash
Narada Bhakti Sutras



Intellectual Indigestion - Physical or emotional disorder resulting from the acquisition of knowledge and thereby the responsibility for applying that knowledge appropriately. Symptoms are aggravated and suffering increases if new information is not appropriately assimilated and acted upon.




THE EFFECTS OF FAITH AND FEAR ON THE MENTAL DIGESTION

Still more terrible is the havoc wrought by fear when we come to the process of conception mental digestion. When we come to classifying, abstracting, comparing, and reflecting upon our percepts (the process of the higher mental digestion), then it is that the terrible mischief wrought by fear becomes apparent. The images and emotions, the sensations and feelings, have now become concepts. They may be erroneously classified. They may be misinterpreted. Their qualities may be confused and wrongly abstracted; their comparison may be faulty and misleading; reflection is too often entirely absent.

The digestive process of the mind is incomplete, superficial; and right here the foundation is laid for mental malnutrition and intellectual anaemia. The body cannot long remain well-nourished and healthy when the stomach fails properly to do its work. Neither will the intellect long be found strong and vigorous if fear has thus paralyzed the mental digestion and demoralized the intellectual metabolism. Every mental power is destined to suffer as a result of this baleful influence of fear.

On the other hand, had faith and its associated qualifications dominated the mind, the products of mental mastication, and the internal productions of the imagination, would have brought to the process of conception, healthful, well-masticated, normal, natural material, which would have been promptly and satisfactorily classified, carefully compared, and otherwise fully and completely digested, to be subsequently passed upward in the stream of thought to nourish and sustain the entire mind, and especially to provide healthy material out of which the higher mental powers could elaborate healthy thoughts, wholesome ambitions, and noble aspirations.

Even the memory must fall an unwilling victim to these destructive and demoralizing influences of fear. Food which has not been properly masticated or fully digested, cannot be properly assimilated. Memory represents that power of the mind designed for the assimilation of impressions, the retention of images, the recognition and recollection of that which has been committed to it; but under the influence of fear the memory impressions become unreliable, unhealthy, and diseased. Objects and images are but imperfectly retained, and then only in distorted form. The recollection of impressions entering the mind when in a state of panic and fear are always unreliable, imperfect, and untrustworthy. Thus the memory may become an unconscious tool in the hands of fear and sudden fright, passing up to the higher mental powers, the diseased and unhealthy product of insufficient mental mastication, intellectual indigestion, and mental malassimilation.

from THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FAITH AND FEAR
by WILLIAM S. SADLER, M. D.
PROFESSOR OF PHYSIOLOGIC THERAPEUTICS [POSTGRADUATE MEDICAL SCHOOL OF CHICAGO]
DIRECTOR [THE CHICAGO INSTITUTE OF PHYSIOLOGIC THERAPEUTICS]



Mental Indigestion - The inability to let go of a certain incident or thought-usually an unpleasant experience.

Mental Malnutrition - What happens when an intelligence is isolated from intellectual and physical interaction. Solitary confinement has a similar effect on the mental health.
 

Jak

Registrant
Hi Victor, thanks for posting those verses they are really good ones.
Also thanks for using the King James Bible as your source.
I love the King James Bible.
Good to know that I am not the only Bible Believer on MS.
 

Jak

Registrant
Thanks for posting this and sharing how you read and study your Bible.
Very good advice I will try it myself.
 

GonnaBalright

Registrant
Thanks for sharing, Victor. Spending time with God and studying His Word is good spiritual food that we need. Here is a verse that God recently gave to me and put on my heart. It is Psalms 107:20 (NKJV):

"He sent His WORD and healed us, and saved us from our destructions."

No matter what harm has been done to you, a relationship with Jesus will bring healing.

Todd
 

victor-victim

Registrant
i find that trust is my biggest issue/problem/concern.

some snippets of scripture

[size:26pt]"yea, let God be true, but every man a liar"

"we should not trust in ourselves, but in God"

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding"


"O Lord my God, in thee do I put my trust"


[/size]

[img:center]http://forum.botfrei.de/images/smilies/oops.gif[/img] working on it [img:center]http://www.digi.ee/foorum/img/smiles/sweating.gif[/img] good thing god is patient [img:center]http://www.kolkata-aquarium.com/images/smilies/18.gif[/img]
 

victor-victim

Registrant
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: by whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Romans 5

my wife just went into the hospital suddenly with horrific pain. she did not pass out and was in agony. they tried giving her morphine and it did not take away the pain. they kept her for the last two days and operated on her today. she is sleeping and they say she is out of immediate danger. they have removed one of her organs. i don't want to give any details. it has been a nightmare, except i was awake the whole time. i have slept about half an hour in the last 48 hours. meanwhile i had to visit two different doctors yesterday. one was regarding my own possible surgery as a result of the hand injury i received during physiotherapy i was taking because of a work accident from january 5 this year. that story is in a different thread.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=474905#Post474905

the other doctor was part of an ongoing investigation into my gastrointestinal issues which have caused me severe pain, cramps, vomiting, blackouts, etc. they are claiming that it is physiological manifestations of extreme anxiety. the doctor told me that i am not mentally ill, because my multiple problems are very real and all serious, and there are so many of them that any one of them, by itself alone, could have caused me to suffer these attacks. apparently abnormal reactions to extremely dangerous and stressful traumas is considered normal behaviour. i was happy to hear this news, but they had no solutions for me. all they could offer was prescription drugs, and they recommended i take a vacation. this made me laugh, because i am paying for busfare with loose change i find in the couches. i have to borrow money from my teenage children. my wife pays for my groceries. i get a tiny cheque from worker's compensation insurance which i sign over to my wife every two weeks to cover the expenses of a family of five. vacation? i have not worked since january 5th! if i don't stay on top of the politics at work, i will not even have a job or career to go back to. the president of our local union has just been officially charged with using our treasury money to pay lawyers to help him concoct a case against me to have me expelled from the union. this conspiracy was only recently revealed after his suspension and impeachment trial led to a thorough investigation and expensive forensic audit. the document they discovered, not only justified my suspicions and accusations, which were laughed at and denied, but the facts were even worse than my paranoid mind had imagined. this whole horror show began last year on september 1st.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=472680#Post472680

the bottom line is, i have been had too many physical problems in the last three years. things i cannot control. things i had no power to prevent.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=467984#Post467984

now, it seems that all kinds of terrible things have been happening to the people i care about too. it is very difficult to deal with, but i am so desensitized and numb, i can barely feel anything. sometimes, i cry at randomly for no apparent reason, but most of the rest of time i am coldly and efficiently tackling my pile of problems or taking a rest from the constant effort to fill out forms, make phone calls, and schedule appointments with specialists and surgeons.
it seems i am not allowed to feel my feelings. whenever i shed tears, people get weird and doctors try giving me drugs. i told them all to get lost and let me be human. when the one doctor told me that the puncture wound in my hand had damaged some muscle tissue and i would need another four to six weeks of physiotherapy and possible surgery, i cried. he immediately said, "you're falling apart" and wrote me a prescription. i politely told him to keep his pills. i prefer to feel my feelings. i also told him that it is perfectly natural and normal for a person to cry when they get really bad news. like the nurse today, when she told me my wife was going to get cut open. i started to cry and she got all worried and asked me "are you going to be ok?" and i replied "i'm not the one getting surgery. i will be fine. it is my wife i am worried about. i am the kind of person who prefers to feel his feelings." she looked thoughtful for a second and said, "that's not a bad idea. it's probably not healthy to bottle things up inside." i was a little surprised that this was coming from a nurse. it was like she had never considered that angle before.
i always feel better and ready to go, after a quick cry. i don't sob and wail, but simply let go and start to leak quietly from the eyes. sometimes it just pours out, but i don't stop it, and i show no shame. if other people are uncomfortable with it, that is their problem. i am done with pretending and posturing and posing and performing. i have been facing and feeling my feelings like this for over thirty years, now, and i am getting better at expressing myself every day. i will never crawl back into the darkness and solitude of self-deception and superficiality. only god can judge me. only jesus can save me. only i can control me.

tempted, tested, tried and true.
man is broken. god is glue.
now that i know wrong from right.
i choose life and love and light.
 

victor-victim

Registrant
just got my wife out of the hospital. she is going to recover at home over the next few days. she seems to be back to normal, other than sore from surgery.
 

victor-victim

Registrant
Marinan said:
"Lord, I believe, please help me in my unbelief". That's what I have to think to myself so often when I'm constantly brain washed and conditioned to think of myself as nothing all the time."
in the fight between faith and fear.


[font:Georgia]"If I saw no signs of a divinity, I would fix myself in denial. If I saw everywhere the marks of a Creator, I would repose peacefully in faith. But seeing too much to deny Him, and too little to assure me, I am in a pitiful state, and I would wish a hundred times that if a god sustains nature it would reveal Him without ambiguity."
"This is what I see, and what troubles me. I look on all sides, and everywhere I see nothing but obscurity. Nature offers me nothing that is not a matter of doubt and disquiet."
"It is not certain that all is uncertain, to the glory of scepticism."
"There is nothing so conformable to reason as this disavowal of reason."
"For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either."
"We understand nothing of the works of God unless we take it as a principle that He wishes to blind some and to enlighten others."
"But at least learn your inability to believe, since reason brings you to this, and yet you cannot believe. Endeavour then to convince yourself, not by increase of proofs of God, but by the abatement of your passions. You would like to attain faith, and do not know the way; you would like to cure yourself of unbelief, and ask the remedy for it. Learn of those who have been bound like you, and who now stake all their possessions. These are people who know the way which you would follow, and who are cured of an ill of which you would be cured. Follow the way by which they began; by acting as if they believed, taking the holy water, having masses said, etc. Even this will naturally make you believe, and deaden your acuteness."[/font]
~ Blaise Pascal

Pascal's Wager uses the following logic (excerpts from Penses, part III, 233):

[font:Courier New]God is, or God is not. Reason cannot decide between the two alternatives.
A Game is being played... where heads or tails will turn up.
You must wager (it is not optional).
You bet your life!
Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances. If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing.
Wager, then, without hesitation that He is. There is here an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain, a chance of gain against a finite number of chances of loss, and what you stake is finite. And so our proposition is of infinite force, when there is the finite to stake in a game where there are equal risks of gain and of loss, and the infinite to gain.
But some cannot believe. They should then 'at least learn your inability to believe...' and 'Endeavour then to convince' themselves.[/font]
 

victor-victim

Registrant
The word overcome, overcometh, and overcomer, comes from the Greek word NIKAO and appears in the Bible 32 times.


[font:Courier New]niko (from nke = 'victory') conquer (overcome); 'to carry off the victory, come off victorious.' The verb implies a battle. [/font]

[font:Arial Black]What is an overcomer?[/font] The Greek word Nikao means one that prevails, conquers, and gets the victory over. It is to surmount difficulties. Therefore, when we say we are overcomers we are saying we dont think it strange concerning the fiery trials which is to try us, but we rejoice, inasmuch for we are partakers of Christ suffering and we know if we suffer with Him that we shall reign with Him. We strive to prevail over the difficulties which come our way.

[img:right]http://www.ocf.org/OrthodoxPage/icons/clip/icxc.gif[/img] [font:Book Antiqua]Whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world:
and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.[/font]

1 John 5

an overcomer is one that is first of all born of God, he must be able to surmount difficulties and prevail against them. the question becomes - what are the difficulties to overcome?

[font:Arial Black]* The World
* The Flesh
* The Devil [/font]

To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.
He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death.
To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.
And he that overcometh, and keepeth my works unto the end, to him will I give power over the nations: And he shall rule them with a rod of iron; as the vessels of a potter shall they be broken to shivers: even as I received of my Father. And I will give him the morning star.
He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels.
im that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name.
As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.

~ Book of Revelation

[font:Book Antiqua]These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.
In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer;
I have overcome the world.[/font]

John 16
 

gettingstronger

Registrant
Hi JustScott,

I know this is very late in coming but I just saw the thread and your post above (p. 3.)

Sorry you got hurt by that one who clearly had no idea what you're going through. I've tried to reach out as well at times, and it seems like unless it's someone who's been through the same thing, it's like beating my head on a wall. I get what you got. I'm also not following their logic that somehow your situation and difficulty finding the things we all need are an indicator of how you stand with God.

I'm an introvert (despite my job and business,) so it's really tough for me to reach out to people spontaneously. I also feel like a phony a lot of the time because of some self-esteem issues I'm still working on and a, uh, less than ideal upbringing. Trying to reach out to people who don't understand how hard that can be is like trying to describe a lightning storm to someone who's never seen one. You get a blank stare. Unless they're unusually empathetic, they just can't relate.

So don't let this get you down. It's ok to value your boundaries and alone time, and it's ok to reach out when you want to. It's not ok for others to start questioning where you are spiritually if you're honestly seeking God. Along with the others, I believe it's good not to be alone, but believe me, I understand how painful it can be when you try to connect and run into a brick wall. So I say do your best and don't pressure yourself.

Feel free to PM if you want!

Best,
Bob

PS: Victor-Victim: Thank you for posting all these verses! Much appreciated. B
 

victor-victim

Registrant
dear gettingstronger,

it seems i missed your reply from weeks back.
thanks for reaching out.

i get what you are saying.
it is good that we can find each other here share.

glad you appreciate my efforts.
nice to know you like the verses.
feel free to post some of your own choices.

my struggle for survival is something spiritual and special.

that works for me.

stay strong!
 

victor-victim

Registrant
[font:Courier New]In a mothers womb were two babies. One asked the other: Do you believe in life after delivery?
The other replied, Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.
Nonsense said the first. There is no life after delivery. What kind of life would that be?
The second said, I dont know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths. Maybe we will have other senses that we cant understand now.
The first replied, That is absurd. Walking is impossible. And eating with our mouths? Ridiculous! The umbilical cord supplies nutrition and everything we need. But the umbilical cord is so short. Life after delivery is to be logically excluded.
The second insisted, Well I think there is something and maybe its different than it is here. Maybe we wont need this physical cord anymore.
The first replied, Nonsense. And moreover if there is life, then why has no one has ever come back from there? Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery there is nothing but darkness and silence and oblivion. It takes us nowhere.
Well, I dont know, said the second, but certainly we will meet Mother and she will take care of us.
The first replied Mother? You actually believe in Mother? Thats laughable. If Mother exists then where is She now?
The second said, She is all around us. We are surrounded by her. We are of Her. It is in Her that we live. Without Her this world would not and could not exist.
Said the first: Well I dont see Her, so it is only logical that She doesnt exist.
To which the second replied, Sometimes, when youre in silence and you focus and you really listen, you can perceive Her presence, and you can hear Her loving voice, calling down from above. [/font]

A parable/thought experiment from the Hungarian writer tmutat a Lleknek
 

victor-victim

Registrant
still looking for fellowship.

"Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." - Jesus

"If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." - John

http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-fellowship-21-scripture-quotes/
 

I Want 2 Thrive

Registrant
The wife and I are currently church shopping. This past Sunday we went "outside" our comfort zone (Life long Baptist). The Presbyterian church we went to was nice, small but full of life. At one point the preacher was apologizing for having to miss church this coming week. He said he was going on a mission trip to Costa Rica. The purpose of his mission trip was to care for victims of sexual assault.

After the meeting was complete the wife and I hung back to talk to him. I thanked him for his service, as a survivor myself.

I think I may have found a new church home.
 

victor-victim

Registrant
it's always nice to get positive affirmation. i hope it works out. all of my seeking and searching and shopping has not resulted in an actual church which i wish to attend, but i have befriended many believers, including a few pastors. i have a lot of relationships and studies and discussions within that circle of friends, but physically we are not in the same location. it is all by telephone and internet communication. i prefer personal interaction. when i find the right fellowship group, i think i will feel comfortable and fit in. then i will get those people to baptize me, which i still have not done. my reluctance to join and conform to any one denomination is based on experience. i have a lot of trust issues with organized religion, doctrines, dogmas, leaders, authorities, corruptions, contradictions, hypocrisies, fallacies, heresies, blasphemies. i study the bible. i pray to god through his son that i will fulfill his will. he leads, whether i believe or not. god creates, sustains, controls and destroys, with or without my consent, according to his will. i struggle to understand and obey. meanwhile i worship his holy name JHVH in the name of CHRIST JESUS.

i am glad you have a new home.
you give me hope.
 

L84

Registrant
SamV,

Excellent post! As well as the other guys...
 
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