Call to Arms
Call to Arms
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Kirk Wayne
Registrant
Call to arms.
You bet, Ive been fighting for change here in the UK for two years now and I am begining to realise for anything to change peoples attitudes they have got to have CSA held up to them, the majority of people here in the UK are of the "If I stick my head in the sand long enough, maybe it will go away" type. If only they realised that one in ten of their friends are very likely to have suffered CSA.
"We can be the strongest men on the planet!!!"
You bet again
And lastly this is my personal view as I only speak for myself:
There is nothing to be ashamed of being a CSA survivor, I did nothing to be ashamed of, I had it done to me. This doesnt make me a Saint as I have plenty of other stuff to be ashamed of and a couple of those are pretty recent.
Kirk
"Instigate change, as it appears it wont come naturally in our cause. Sometimes it needs a little forcing".
You bet, Ive been fighting for change here in the UK for two years now and I am begining to realise for anything to change peoples attitudes they have got to have CSA held up to them, the majority of people here in the UK are of the "If I stick my head in the sand long enough, maybe it will go away" type. If only they realised that one in ten of their friends are very likely to have suffered CSA.
"We can be the strongest men on the planet!!!"
You bet again
And lastly this is my personal view as I only speak for myself:
There is nothing to be ashamed of being a CSA survivor, I did nothing to be ashamed of, I had it done to me. This doesnt make me a Saint as I have plenty of other stuff to be ashamed of and a couple of those are pretty recent.
Kirk
"Instigate change, as it appears it wont come naturally in our cause. Sometimes it needs a little forcing".
John,
Good Topic.
I am living the call to arms and I am here 4 everyone.
Have never given up and never given in and will never.
Here is the quote I have at the end of each post, I came up with this and I live it.
"If we give up then our perps has taken control again. They have won. Don't let it happen"
Good Topic.
I am living the call to arms and I am here 4 everyone.
Have never given up and never given in and will never.
Here is the quote I have at the end of each post, I came up with this and I live it.
"If we give up then our perps has taken control again. They have won. Don't let it happen"
Few months after starting healing, I attempted to kill myself for the third or fourth time. It was significant enough to spend a few days on a breathing machine in the hospital. About 8 months later, a serious case of pneumonia put me back on the same kind of machine. It was rather ironic to me, how far I had come, but seeming to have a same result for the moment.
Anyway, I have not been suicidal since four months into this. I have still at times done some lesser self-harm. But not suicidal. After that attempt, I realized not only that suicide is the total failure of 'survival', but is also an incredibly egocentric and selfish act. I don't want to be that kind of person.
Perhaps we need to remember also, it can well be a 'pay it forward' type of place here. PMs are wonderful things. You can so strongly support, encourage, and become friends with someone by PM. They are not reserved only for argument and 'bitchings'. Maybe today, everyone who reads this could PM one other member here that they admire, that they respect, that they want to get to know better, become friends with, support, encourage. Just if each person who reads this were to positively PM one other person, and that person were to 'pay it forward', a lot of love and support could be shared here.
Leosha
Anyway, I have not been suicidal since four months into this. I have still at times done some lesser self-harm. But not suicidal. After that attempt, I realized not only that suicide is the total failure of 'survival', but is also an incredibly egocentric and selfish act. I don't want to be that kind of person.
Perhaps we need to remember also, it can well be a 'pay it forward' type of place here. PMs are wonderful things. You can so strongly support, encourage, and become friends with someone by PM. They are not reserved only for argument and 'bitchings'. Maybe today, everyone who reads this could PM one other member here that they admire, that they respect, that they want to get to know better, become friends with, support, encourage. Just if each person who reads this were to positively PM one other person, and that person were to 'pay it forward', a lot of love and support could be shared here.
Leosha
Healing Inside:
Whenever I see that quote on your signature line, I smile, and I am inspired to carry on. Thank you!
Leosha:
I like the idea of using PM's to write to people and say nice things. I am going to use that idea today. Thanks so much!
All the best!
Jasper
blueelectron9
Registrant
Being a "one" for so long, it terrifies me to know that I belong to a brotherhood of survivors. I'd like to answer your call and I will to the extent that I'm capable. I'm going to try more outreach this year.
Best,
Scotty
Best,
Scotty
I was having a low moment tonight after watching a DVD that I thought was going to be full of humour (based on the comments on the comments on the box)...it just triggered me all over the shop.
Logged on here thinking that maybe if I helped somebody else I might feel better. This is the first post I read...impeccable timing....thanks..Rik
Logged on here thinking that maybe if I helped somebody else I might feel better. This is the first post I read...impeccable timing....thanks..Rik
This is truly awe-inspiring. Men of all shapes, sizes, colors, etc. joining together with a strength and power no one can come near!!
I thank each of you for supporting me and you and you and you.....I have sent PM's to several of you and want to address everyone personally but I did have other stuff to tend to today. I feel like I've gained 2 dozen or so new friends in 2 days.
I hope that each and every person who has signed on here, and each and everyone that will sign on, remembers that they have made a commitment to life and survival. If things get too heavy, let someone know. I for one can testify that I'm glad my attempts at taking my life were not successful. Every post in this thread offers someone else hope. I am beaming, so proud to be standing with you all. Funny how a Call to Arms ends with the word "Peace" - John
I thank each of you for supporting me and you and you and you.....I have sent PM's to several of you and want to address everyone personally but I did have other stuff to tend to today. I feel like I've gained 2 dozen or so new friends in 2 days.
I hope that each and every person who has signed on here, and each and everyone that will sign on, remembers that they have made a commitment to life and survival. If things get too heavy, let someone know. I for one can testify that I'm glad my attempts at taking my life were not successful. Every post in this thread offers someone else hope. I am beaming, so proud to be standing with you all. Funny how a Call to Arms ends with the word "Peace" - John
Larry,
I am so very pleased and so very proud of you.
Part of answering John's call to arms means empowering ourselves along with others. What you did today was truly heroic.
Larry, I am so very proud of you. And I am so very pleased to call you my friend.
Jasper
Hello John:
Let me say again that I think it is a wonderful thing you are doing. Are you pleased so far with the response to your "call to arms"? Or are there others who have yet to heed the call?
Perhaps if you mention a few names some of the guys out there might be able to PM them and ask them to join in. What do you think?
By the way, I know you are busy so take your time in responding to my post.
All the best to you!
Jasper
Let me say again that I think it is a wonderful thing you are doing. Are you pleased so far with the response to your "call to arms"? Or are there others who have yet to heed the call?
Perhaps if you mention a few names some of the guys out there might be able to PM them and ask them to join in. What do you think?
By the way, I know you are busy so take your time in responding to my post.
All the best to you!
Jasper
John:
I guess I don't have your patience. But I'm disappointed that some guys haven't taken up your call to arms for whatever reason. I mean, I can think of a few off hand. Are they not around this weekend? I'm not sure. And what of the young people? They often complain of grownups not listening to them. And I realize this is a very grownup topic. Maybe too grownup for some of them. But are we not all comrades in arms on this issue?
Also, a few of you have been really kind to me. But it's ironic how afraid we are to even acknowledge suicidal feelings. For example, several times this week I referred to my own deep despair last Monday. I did so not to seek attention but to call attention to the fact that there are numbers out there for people to call (like 1-800-273-TALK). 24/7 people are there to listen. So call!
Maybe this is not a fair statement to make. But I was shocked at how many guys just skimmed over my confession about calling a suicide hotline without any comment whatsoever. Is that because I'm not one of the gang, not real well-known except in the gay forum? Is that because people suspect my motives, suspect I was just trying to be dramatic? Let me assure you I was not. And I'm not trying to make this a discussion about me. But about how we handle someone discussing the fact that they DID NOT commit suicide. That instead they called a hotline, talked to their doc, etc.
What is so wrong about saying, "Gee, Jasper, I'm really glad you called that number. You keep calling that number whenever you need help. We want you to stay safe."
That's not me asking for sympathy here. Take out the name Jasper and add any other name you want. That should be the message. I'm glad you didn't do it. I'm glad you didn't succeed. Now maybe I've been guilty of the same thing. But if we can just start there, start with that simple human gesture of kindness, a lot of pain can be healed.
In other words: When someone talks about NOT commiting suicide, of getting help instead, do exactly what you would do if someone talks of getting over a cold, avoiding a close-call accident, or even winning the lottery. Just say:
"I'm really glad to hear that!"
Thanks for listening,
Jasper
I guess I don't have your patience. But I'm disappointed that some guys haven't taken up your call to arms for whatever reason. I mean, I can think of a few off hand. Are they not around this weekend? I'm not sure. And what of the young people? They often complain of grownups not listening to them. And I realize this is a very grownup topic. Maybe too grownup for some of them. But are we not all comrades in arms on this issue?
Also, a few of you have been really kind to me. But it's ironic how afraid we are to even acknowledge suicidal feelings. For example, several times this week I referred to my own deep despair last Monday. I did so not to seek attention but to call attention to the fact that there are numbers out there for people to call (like 1-800-273-TALK). 24/7 people are there to listen. So call!
Maybe this is not a fair statement to make. But I was shocked at how many guys just skimmed over my confession about calling a suicide hotline without any comment whatsoever. Is that because I'm not one of the gang, not real well-known except in the gay forum? Is that because people suspect my motives, suspect I was just trying to be dramatic? Let me assure you I was not. And I'm not trying to make this a discussion about me. But about how we handle someone discussing the fact that they DID NOT commit suicide. That instead they called a hotline, talked to their doc, etc.
What is so wrong about saying, "Gee, Jasper, I'm really glad you called that number. You keep calling that number whenever you need help. We want you to stay safe."
That's not me asking for sympathy here. Take out the name Jasper and add any other name you want. That should be the message. I'm glad you didn't do it. I'm glad you didn't succeed. Now maybe I've been guilty of the same thing. But if we can just start there, start with that simple human gesture of kindness, a lot of pain can be healed.
In other words: When someone talks about NOT commiting suicide, of getting help instead, do exactly what you would do if someone talks of getting over a cold, avoiding a close-call accident, or even winning the lottery. Just say:
"I'm really glad to hear that!"
Thanks for listening,
Jasper
Jasper - I don't know why some people have not signed on, but if you look at who has posted over the last couple of days and compare those names to those who have signed on, most everyone has. It is the weekend, traffic might be a little slow. I am curious about some people who seem to be ignoring this movement, people who are in a position of leadership. Certainly they wouldn't be avoiding it due to some sort of potential controversy...or maybe that's naive on my part because politics play a bigger role here than I sometimes imagine.
On the other hand, it could be that some guys are not ready to make the commitment to reach out if they need help. It can be very difficult, in the early stages of recovery to see hope. You know that as well as anyone here. As recently as last Monday you were in a bad place. I'm sorry if I haven't said so until now, but I am truly happy that you made the call you needed to make. And I know you did that because you promised those who care about you that you would do just that. So good for you. We are all better off because you are here cheering us all on.
And that is the premise of this thread. For those of us who do sign on we will take a moment and think-before-acting when things seem to feel too heavy. That is the crucial moment. That is the moment when a life can be saved.
You asked in a previous post if I am pleased with the results of my Call to Arms. Yes, I am thrilled, awed, inspired, warmed, humbled. EVERY message in this thread, every post, every name is of a positive nature. How often do we see so much positive here?
No one is complaining about staying alive or using their new-found strengths to reach out to someone who needs help and support. No one is arguing the message that is being sent here.
Together we are creating and validating the Brotherhood so often referred to on this site. Collectively we are taking a tragedy and turning it into something powerfully positive. We are committing to SURVIVING and, when we can, to helping others survive. And, as important, we are demonstrating hope for those who can't see it yet and for those who are reading this thread but not posting. It is a beautiful thing.
It sounds trite, but it obviously is not...If just one life is saved because of this message we are sharing, that is a blessing. Just think about the implications of all these men, these survivors joining together.
To all of you, thank you for supporting us as a Brotherhood. It gives me great comfort to know I can reach out to so many of you if I need to. And it gives me great personal satisfaction to know that so many of you trust in me enough to let me know if you are having trouble.
I wish you Peace- John
On the other hand, it could be that some guys are not ready to make the commitment to reach out if they need help. It can be very difficult, in the early stages of recovery to see hope. You know that as well as anyone here. As recently as last Monday you were in a bad place. I'm sorry if I haven't said so until now, but I am truly happy that you made the call you needed to make. And I know you did that because you promised those who care about you that you would do just that. So good for you. We are all better off because you are here cheering us all on.
And that is the premise of this thread. For those of us who do sign on we will take a moment and think-before-acting when things seem to feel too heavy. That is the crucial moment. That is the moment when a life can be saved.
You asked in a previous post if I am pleased with the results of my Call to Arms. Yes, I am thrilled, awed, inspired, warmed, humbled. EVERY message in this thread, every post, every name is of a positive nature. How often do we see so much positive here?
No one is complaining about staying alive or using their new-found strengths to reach out to someone who needs help and support. No one is arguing the message that is being sent here.
Together we are creating and validating the Brotherhood so often referred to on this site. Collectively we are taking a tragedy and turning it into something powerfully positive. We are committing to SURVIVING and, when we can, to helping others survive. And, as important, we are demonstrating hope for those who can't see it yet and for those who are reading this thread but not posting. It is a beautiful thing.
It sounds trite, but it obviously is not...If just one life is saved because of this message we are sharing, that is a blessing. Just think about the implications of all these men, these survivors joining together.
To all of you, thank you for supporting us as a Brotherhood. It gives me great comfort to know I can reach out to so many of you if I need to. And it gives me great personal satisfaction to know that so many of you trust in me enough to let me know if you are having trouble.
I wish you Peace- John
John & guy's it's great to know that you are here. The hurt & pain that I feel has been felt before. All of our stories are different & the same, the strength of one can be great however the strength of many is huge & togther we can take on the world.
I'm new just starting a night mare again that I lived through once & with Gods help & all of you I will get through it again.
Sorry if I got off topic but I just had to let all of you know that there are guys like me that are in distress and need of you support as much as I know I'm not alone I feel like I'm standing on the street naked waiting for someone else to take me again, again on on .
Sorry Call to ARMS someday I hope to join you & be strong enough to look after my family again.
Craig
I'm new just starting a night mare again that I lived through once & with Gods help & all of you I will get through it again.
Sorry if I got off topic but I just had to let all of you know that there are guys like me that are in distress and need of you support as much as I know I'm not alone I feel like I'm standing on the street naked waiting for someone else to take me again, again on on .
Sorry Call to ARMS someday I hope to join you & be strong enough to look after my family again.
Craig
Craig - You did just join, despite what you might think. The Call to Arms is nothing more than my request that we all keep on keeping on, that we do not give in to the struggle. You said it yourself, you used the word 'hope' in your closing sentence.
I know how difficult it is to be where you are now, the memories are fresh and poignant. It was only 18 months or so ago that I was on the edge. It can and will get better, with determination, hard work and others around you. This is not something that can be conquered without the help, love and support of others. I spent years doing everything on my own, doing for others all the time and never accepting anything from anyone. I was alone, I kept myself that way, I didn't know any other way. Now I do and things have changed tremendously.
All I ask of you, presumptuous though it may seem, is to let me or someone else know when the road gets too tough. Keep yourself alive, survive. You deserve it, at least as much as anyone else in this world. Thank you for answering the Call to Arms - John
I know how difficult it is to be where you are now, the memories are fresh and poignant. It was only 18 months or so ago that I was on the edge. It can and will get better, with determination, hard work and others around you. This is not something that can be conquered without the help, love and support of others. I spent years doing everything on my own, doing for others all the time and never accepting anything from anyone. I was alone, I kept myself that way, I didn't know any other way. Now I do and things have changed tremendously.
All I ask of you, presumptuous though it may seem, is to let me or someone else know when the road gets too tough. Keep yourself alive, survive. You deserve it, at least as much as anyone else in this world. Thank you for answering the Call to Arms - John
John,
Your 'call to arms', a committment to battle on is a good message and one that I can readily agree to. However, I am not prepared to deal with anyone who threatens suicide either directly or indirectly, unfortunately I am ill equipped to deal with that, as are - I suspect - most of us.
But individually and collectively I am happy to support the 'call to arms'. I thought Leosha's idea of using PMs to express appreciation to individuals was a good one. Peace, Andrew
Your 'call to arms', a committment to battle on is a good message and one that I can readily agree to. However, I am not prepared to deal with anyone who threatens suicide either directly or indirectly, unfortunately I am ill equipped to deal with that, as are - I suspect - most of us.
But individually and collectively I am happy to support the 'call to arms'. I thought Leosha's idea of using PMs to express appreciation to individuals was a good one. Peace, Andrew
thanks to you John
i have many time thought of giving up. father still scare me though i am grown man. seeing him is hard to live with.
you are wise man to call for this. i will agree and stand with such as you.
demons are many and here always. but will fight as i have done always.
Oro
i have many time thought of giving up. father still scare me though i am grown man. seeing him is hard to live with.
you are wise man to call for this. i will agree and stand with such as you.
demons are many and here always. but will fight as i have done always.
Oro
Welcome Oro!
I am glad you are here.
And to Andrew:
In your post you say...
Keep up the good work, John!
Jasper
I am glad you are here.
And to Andrew:
In your post you say...
I understand your feeling that way. No one is asking anything special of you. Sometimes it is simply a matter of being sensitive to others. That is all.
Keep up the good work, John!
Jasper
I renew my commitment to this call.
I also must ask that we remember that all survivors are in different places in their journey of recovery...for many of us, the feeling that we do not belong is so powerful that it is difficult to "join" a call such as this.
Let us add understanding to our call and support those who may remain silent for reasons we can all relate to.
This post provided me with a huge boost when I read it. I needed something positive; that is where I am in my recovery. Thanks so much again for posting this, John.
Peace to all my brothers,
James
I also must ask that we remember that all survivors are in different places in their journey of recovery...for many of us, the feeling that we do not belong is so powerful that it is difficult to "join" a call such as this.
Let us add understanding to our call and support those who may remain silent for reasons we can all relate to.
This post provided me with a huge boost when I read it. I needed something positive; that is where I am in my recovery. Thanks so much again for posting this, John.
Peace to all my brothers,
James
I'll say it again, thank you all for answering the Call to Arms. This is one of the most powerful, positive threads I have ever seen here or anywhere else. I feel that it truly makes me a part of a Brotherhood with all the men here, whether or not you have signed on. I feel it.
I would like to make a request that we not lose the focus of what is happening here. I have requested through PMs that any personal issues or conflicts be taken 'off-line' either as private messages to others or through a new subject.
Go back and read the responses. Look at the several men who have expressed their appreciation because it took them out of a tough moment. Look at the responses from men who have a renewed vigor in their struggle. This is working and I love to see it. Let's keep it positive, there is enough negative in this world already. Together we have taken a tragic situation and have turned it into something so beautiful that any group would be hard-pressed to duplicate.
Please keep adding your names, when and if you're ready. I am here and I love to be surrounded by you guys. Peace - John
I would like to make a request that we not lose the focus of what is happening here. I have requested through PMs that any personal issues or conflicts be taken 'off-line' either as private messages to others or through a new subject.
Go back and read the responses. Look at the several men who have expressed their appreciation because it took them out of a tough moment. Look at the responses from men who have a renewed vigor in their struggle. This is working and I love to see it. Let's keep it positive, there is enough negative in this world already. Together we have taken a tragic situation and have turned it into something so beautiful that any group would be hard-pressed to duplicate.
Please keep adding your names, when and if you're ready. I am here and I love to be surrounded by you guys. Peace - John