call from my dad

call from my dad
S

shadowkid

WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shado
i wrote my dad a letter telling him i understand why he hated me and that i'm sorry about what happened to my brother ,i do understand but that don't make all the things he did to me or had my cousin do to me right ,they tried to kill me ! all my abuse and time without a family is his fault ,he wants to meet ,but i don't trust him ,also i'm afraid if i see him now i'll feel sorry for him .and i don't want to feel sorry for him ,he says he wants to forgive me for jimmy dying!he should be asking me for forgivness ,he told my cousin that after he was done abusing me to kill me !he has told me this himself ,now he wants to make up and forgive me ? but he can still suck me in just like when i was a kid ,i won't fall for his bullshit again .but i do need him to forgive me for pushing jimmy don't know why but i need it . adam
 
Adam..........

I would avoid him like the plague..........at least until you're stonger emotionally.

He was a sperm doner to you mom, not a father. A father would never have abandoned you.

Just my thoughts..........

I would consider seeing him only if he was on his death bed and you would never have another chance to resolve anything between you. But, there's plenty of time before that happens I would assume.

He doesn't even know WHO he's talking to, does he? He probably has NO clue what kind of selfless and caring person you've become. And this is AFTER all the Hell you went through after the tractor accident. He abandoned you BEFORE you went through all this Hell! And now he wants to "talk"? Hmmmmmmmm. I would wait.
 
Adam,

My heart goes out to you on this one. It really does.

I'm not too sure you will consider what I have to say next as kind, but I feel obglitated to say it.

I agree with Hauser on this one. I'd go a step further and contact the authorities with what you've posted here. I am so angry at that bastard. He's no father. He needs to be in jail as an accomplice to attempted MURDER, along with that no good cousin of yours.

I'm sorry if what I say should offend you Adam, but it's just the way I see it.

Lots of love,

John
 
i think you guys are right ,but it has been so long i been waiting for my dad to love me ,i don't know which is stronger my desire for a fathere or all the alarms that are going off in my head ,you know i have talked with him recently ,and he didn't seem to be sorry for anything ,he thinks it is all my fault because i pushed jimmy off the tractor ,but part of me says he is right ,it is my fault .but it ain't my fault he chose to make my life a living hell because i caused my brothers death ,everything that is bad that happened to me started when he gave me to my pedophile cousin and told him to kill me,i don't know why my cousin kept quiet about my dad at his trial .is it possible that he is sorry that he just went crazy when jimmy died ? i never stopped loving my dad maybe he knows that and is using it against me ,i'm not afraid of him ,it would be worth the chance just to hear him say i don't blame you for jimmy's death and i'm sorry for everything ,or is he just setting me up to hurt me again ? do they ever say i'm sorry?hell i don't know what to do anymore . as soon as i admitted that jimmy's death was my fault he suddenly wants to talk ,damn it when i remember how close he was with jimmy i feel sorry for him ,he don't deserve for me to feel sorry for him ,but what if he truly is sorry .just going asround in circles!! shadow
 
Keep the communication one-way. Make it a point that he has a LONGGGGGGGGGGG way to go before you're gonna talk at all, namely, he's got to admit outright that you were just a child and that he was negligent in his duty as a parent to keep a 8yo from hoping on a running tractor.

I know you want so badly to have his love as a Father, but...................I feel that you're simply too emotionally impaired right now to deal with him. If he can't outright say, outright, "I'm sorry that I gave you up and put you through a childhood of HELL, and I don't blame you anymore for the death of your brother".

Adam, if he ain't saying that outright. Then you better keep your distance, physicaly and emotionally.

My God, are you serious when you say that he conspired with your cousine to have you killed? That's pure evil!

From what you've told us of him, he's not deserving of the love of a son, a son that's grown into a good and caring person. I hope this helps you, ok?
 
Adam,

I have to agree with our friend Hauser. He's said everything I would have with the exception that if it were me in your shoes I'd be in contact with the police so fast it'd make your old man's head spin. What he did was criminal. Evil. Deserving of incarceration for a long, very long time.

Again, just my opinion.

Lots of love,

John
 
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