BULLY

BULLY
M

Morning Star

Registrant
Yesterday, I had to visit an older cousins home for a family dinner, though I dread his teasing, I couldnt escape this one.
But one thing changed yesterday, I decided, why waste this opportunity for empowerment? Why not believe that I can handle it, and I decided with my higher self that I can handle it.

So 'we' went there but much relaxed, we had a normal conversation and since I was no longer afraid I had a grown up conversations with him about life, general topics etc.

On the side I had a conversation with his daughter, my 11 year old niece who was dreading going on to senior buses from next year, as senior bully youngsters. My immediate response was fight, fight your way!

But her response was very interesting...she said... Bullies dont bully everyone, they just pick on nerds or people who act 'too cool' or something and I am not that! I am a class representative myself.
This was totally new for me, as I didnt act like a nerd yesterday, my cousin didnt pick on me, he didnt need to, as I was relaxed and was talking with him like a grown up about all grown up things not sitting shriveled up in a corner.

I realized that bully are basically people who need to interact too, but since you yourself are so scared, they dont know how else to pick on you, so actually by pulling my leg he pulled me out of my scared shell. Today, he knows me as an equal and I have gained back a loving cousin.
 
There is an axiom I have seen as true for a long time: Bullies bully people that can not really fight back to make them feel better about themselves, and to appear strong for others.

I was pretty much bullied from the time I entered Kindergarten until I got out of the Navy at age 23. In all cases my antagonist was a person who was incredibly insecure, and who hung around other people who did the same things.

I was physically abused by my peers at various times until I told my tormentor I would... ahem... "rip [his] balls off" if he didn't leave me alone. The physical hazing stopped, but the verbal and mental abuse continued. At least the bumps and bruises went away, and I could choose not to respond to everything else. Not the best situation, but better than it was.
 
It took me four years to stand up against bullies totally, although I hit back at one when aged 11yo, it worked.

If you stand up to them and not show fear they will back off.
The bully is generally the most insecure inside, but he will pick on your insecurity like a magnet.

Everyone of us has flaws, bullies play on those flaws and break them open.

I remember taking on the class bully in my class.
He had just bullied one of the frightened boys, so when the teacher came into class, I shouted, who's been bullying in class lamble!

The teacher pulled him out, and I had to tell him who he was bullying.
He never did it again!

ste
 
I was bullied when I was a freshman in high school. To this day, I don't know why the biggest senior on the football team decided that I was to be his target. I had never been bullied before. I would get hives every night all over my back and chest because I was so anxious about going to school the next day. I didn't fear any physical abuse from him, but he would just say little threatening things to me as he passed me in the hallways. I diffused the situation by entering a weight lifting program after school that I knew he was in. We had to talk face to face and he stopped. I have never been able to forgive myself for being afraid. Bobby
 
Looking back I can say I really didn't know how to cope with bullies and was an easy target. I got bullied by this one guy, but then the next day we would be friends and that was okay with me. But it got worse and worse, and finally I asked my Dad to show me how to fight. That was no great success, but the bully backed off once he saw I would fight back. But in other cases I just took it. I felt somehow that it made sense that I would be bullied. I hated it but didn't think I had any way of stopping it.

Much love,
Larry
 
Interesting topic. Before my SA I remember a 6th grader bullying me when I was in 1st grade. He was riding his bike past me and I picked up a 2X4 and knocked him off his bike...he never bullied me again. After my SA, at ages 7-8, I never confronted another bully again. I always cowered and ran away. In junior high, I even changed my class schedule to avoid one of my bullies.

Will
 
I have noticed that when I being bullied I dont notice it, as in I am already frozen in fear, or 'tuned out' and hence dont respond effectively, beyond ranting later, or venting on myself or someone else.

But when I am relaxed I can become aware that it is bullying that is happening to me, I can stand up for myself and fight for myself, my mind works and I know what to say instead of something garbled.

That way I can also stop hating myself in time, as 'I' find my self worth fighting for and respect my honour.
 
Haha,

this got to me,

" He was riding his bike past me and I picked up a 2X4 and knocked him off his bike"...

I wish I could have done that to one bully who smashed my face open with a plaster cast on his arm.

My dad dragged me around to his house and threatened to knock the little shit into space, he never bullied me again.

We should always be vigilant as kids get bullied all the time, sometimes they dont make it!
Adults get bullied at work, by neighbours etc.,

ste
 
I must say that when my own son was being bullied in school and his teachers did nothing to stop it, I more or less took the 2x4 approach. We had a few lessons on how to fight and put an attacker down fast, and he used them and that was the end of that.

I did, however, warn him that I better not get any letter from school reporting that now he was the bully. It did feel conflicting though, since I had always told him that violence is not the way.

Much love,
Larry
 
WOW!!! - what a topic...

I was bullied all the way from kindergarden till around 9th grade (everything from name-calling to physical asaults) - I'm not even gonna get into the many things that they did to me over the years...

it only stopped when I learned that I had to stand up to the bullies - it was only when I learned to stand up to them that I learned that most of these big, bad bullies where really just frightened little boys themselves...

standing up for ourselves is a very important thing that we all need to learn how to do

TJ jeff
 
My parents were the first bullies of my life, they taught me inadvertently how to get bullied. Bullying became a part of my life, later when I grew up I learn to bully myself, but I could only bully myself, to do things faster, right, better so that my parents would love me, I could never succeed in that, so I always fell short on my expectations and I was never good enough for myself. Now I know it doesnt matter, that even if I am failure in life, that professionally or in relationships, I still am worthy of love, because it is my birth right, and I am just wanting to claim that from myself. I demand love and respect from myself and above all honour for I know that is the only way all that I know and have heard about love will come back to me.

I always thought If only I could do just one thing better nicely or not screw up I would be loved, and I continued to do that, to behave nicely, to be sweet to people, so that would like, I want so hard for people to like me that I wouldnt even say that what they are doing is not nice. I would keep quite and resent myself later for not standing up for me and not keeping my word to myself.

I do not understand that how could a kid understand all that, if his parents didnt love him, he still is worthy of love, that way even if no one else in the whole wide world hates him, that doesnt change a thing about him.

Now that I am learning to stand up I dont want my past experiences with colour my present and future responses.
I have also learnt that lot of my responses to bullying are similar to what I wanted or couldn't do with them, but NOW I am a grown up man I need NOT to feel scared or intimidated by them as I dont need anything from them, and as I put my honour above all else.
 
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