Bulima

Bulima
S

Sean Simms

Registrant
Hello, I have Bulima and I was wondering if anybody else on this website has it and if they think it relates to sexual abuse. I think my abuse by my mother is part of the cause but I can't figure exactly how. I know that I feel emplty inside and need to fill that space with something. With me it's food and vomiting. Others use alcohol, drugs, sex...etc. I wonder if I identify with women more because I was an abuse victim and I take traits commonly associated with women who are suffering. That is, bulima, passiveness, having an easier time crying then getting angry. Does anyone relate?
I went to my first overeaters support group today. It was all women. I was scared but they all liked the fact that a man was there. I can't wait to go back.
 
Hi Sean,

I don't have it, but have seen plenty. And I think you are right it is usually (in my limited experience) more commonly a female symtpom but I should would not discount in yourself based on that.

I did most of my serious recovery work in mostly women's groups. The only men's group I was aware of was a split portion of ARUK.com and the men's group there was too "touchy feely" for my taste at that time.
I learned a lot . . . make that A LOT of respect for women and what they have to overcome in recovery, including bulima.

I guess the closest I was to anything like was a severe gap reflex to bananas, (I guess that goes without explanation). But the women I know who have fully recovered from it have avoided (mho) shallow "behavior modification" type therapy and actually went after the real underlying (abuse) problems.

I think one thing that is common in all the dysfunctonal secondary symptoms (cutting/SI, bulimia, laxatives, on and on) . . . When you deal with the real underlying causes, the surface symptoms fade away.

Congrats on finding a home in a group, and having the sense and desire to go back and get well. Help is where you find it.
See you,

Sunshine
 
It's great, Sean, that you are seeking help for this debilitating and potentially life threatening problem. I think you would be surprised to learn that there are a lot of men who suffer from eating disorders. Similar to abuse, they tend not to seek help, and resources are few and far between. It is not an issue I struggle with, thank god, but I have read about it in psych journals. Seems like i hve seen stuff on tv, too. My former mother-in-law suffered from bulimia and anorexia for years, almost died, in and out of the hospital, etc. so I learned a lot about it. It is driven by the subconscious need for control, and your body and its functions is one thing you can exercise control in defiance of the expectations of others, particularly if you a history of being overly controlled. The food serves to fill the emptiness, the vomiting serves to validate feelings of self-loathing, and the end result is the fulfillment of the illusion of control over one's body. The problem is you, or whoever, probably does nto have control over the bulimia. It's complicated and I congratulate you on seeking help. It is not a nice way to live.

Roy
 
Hi Sean

I have been both Bulimic and Anorexic. As I have explained on several occasions, I was raped and sexually abused whilst in hospital having brain surgery. After my abuse I went from a healthy eleven and a half stone to seven and a half stone. I never went lower. Over the next thirteen years I swayed between eating disorders but was never free from them.

For me it was partially control, as you will understand I was at a total loss, being raped is the ultimate violation and it happened at a time I couldn't fight back, (being paralysed). I also felt complete disgust at myself for letting it happen and didn't believe I deserved food. For me it was definately a part of my self harming ritual, I would also burn myself. This wasn't for attention. It always happened when I started feeling happy, and in hindsight, I bellieved I didn't deserve to be happy.

I am aware, (through a local charity that helps survivors of SA) of other cases of men who contracted eating disorders following SA, so it seems we are not alone.

Thankfully, through therapy I have stopped both burning myself and I have been free from Bulimia for about six months. I felt that once I had addressed why I needed to binge, purge etc and make it a choice whether I did or didn't do it, I no longer needed too.

I wish you every luck for the future.

Mark
 
for a while I was anorexic, (sp) went down to 130 at 20 yrs old, I was teased about my weight by brothers and of course the abuse throughout my life. then I started to hide behind my weight and then it was back down for a while. now it is up. I would be happy to talk food. Let me know

Michael Joseph
 
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