Brother on top of me - Trigger Warning
learning2remember
Registrant
We were kids. My guess is I was around 11 and he was 15-16. He was big for his age.
He pinned be down to the floor to tickle me, so it was supposed to be all fun and games and I took it that way.
I would be on the floor on my back, and he would be on top of me, straddling me on his knees, leaning into me, keeping my legs pinned down.
HIs hands were keeping my hands on the floor, again, leaning on them.
With his head, he would tickle my chest with his nose and lips. I liked this feeling but found it impossible nto to react, to try to jerk away from teh intense sensation. My arms were immobilised, but I could wiggle my torse, my waist, and my pelvis. This is what I did and, on top of me, he was basically riding me, bouncing up and down as I wiggled. He called it the bronco, and would shout "Ride'm bronco. Wee doggie." and stuff like that, which I thought was hilarious.
I didn't know anything about sex, and I didn't understand anything sexual in this, but now I know it was all there. His pelvis was practically on top of mine, and the way he was tickling my nipples, basically, with his nose and lips. And the serious look on his face, like it wasn't just playful tickling.
Mom saw it once and told us not to do it anymore.
When he got his first girlfriend, I once said something about "The Bronco" and she said, "What's that." And he wouldn't even answer her. He wouldn't talk about it.
In a way, there was nothign traumatic about this. I didn't mind it. I liked it. I never blocked it from memory or anything.
Then one day, I realised what it looked like. That on a girl it would be interpreted only one way, that he kept it secret from his girlfriend for a reason and that Mom had banned it for a reason. Now I see it differently, I see it for what it was. We were clothed,ect, but it was sexual. He knew that; I didn't. I wish it bever happened.
He pinned be down to the floor to tickle me, so it was supposed to be all fun and games and I took it that way.
I would be on the floor on my back, and he would be on top of me, straddling me on his knees, leaning into me, keeping my legs pinned down.
HIs hands were keeping my hands on the floor, again, leaning on them.
With his head, he would tickle my chest with his nose and lips. I liked this feeling but found it impossible nto to react, to try to jerk away from teh intense sensation. My arms were immobilised, but I could wiggle my torse, my waist, and my pelvis. This is what I did and, on top of me, he was basically riding me, bouncing up and down as I wiggled. He called it the bronco, and would shout "Ride'm bronco. Wee doggie." and stuff like that, which I thought was hilarious.
I didn't know anything about sex, and I didn't understand anything sexual in this, but now I know it was all there. His pelvis was practically on top of mine, and the way he was tickling my nipples, basically, with his nose and lips. And the serious look on his face, like it wasn't just playful tickling.
Mom saw it once and told us not to do it anymore.
When he got his first girlfriend, I once said something about "The Bronco" and she said, "What's that." And he wouldn't even answer her. He wouldn't talk about it.
In a way, there was nothign traumatic about this. I didn't mind it. I liked it. I never blocked it from memory or anything.
Then one day, I realised what it looked like. That on a girl it would be interpreted only one way, that he kept it secret from his girlfriend for a reason and that Mom had banned it for a reason. Now I see it differently, I see it for what it was. We were clothed,ect, but it was sexual. He knew that; I didn't. I wish it bever happened.
