Brother and sister losing youth

[Curiouspaints]

One thing I’ve come to realize about numbing is that I have a deep sense of powerlessness. When I was abused my mom lost my brother and my sister lost my other sister. She could have also been a brother but I look at my numbing behavior around sex and I’ve realized how intense my body feels about “control” and loss. Loving something and losing it all at the same time. I’m still grateful to be alive just struggle with the bonds of affection now at 36