broke a barrier

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betrayed boy

Staff member
today had a couple of firsts and to tell the truth im feeling odd/weird after talking about it for a few months my T and I had our 1st session on zoom instead of over the phone it was great seeing her after 3 years of doing phone sessions due to health issues and of course covid, the 2nd barrier I broke through was I finally after 9 or so years of therapy told in detail one of my flashbacks it was one of the mellower ones compared to others but I guess I wanted to start out taking idk baby steps but judging on her facial reactions my baby steps might be someone else's worst incident, im not comparing just trying to make sense out of it it was what I consider a huge step for me.

I won't repeat the details here not that brave yet lol thats for another day I suppose im still not sure how im feeling about it both happy and sad at the same time happy that I took such a big step at least for me, it was sad in that I gave it a voice and idk made it real ?

after the session I had to lay down and let my brain process it all this was around 7pm and I didnt wake up till after 11pm for me thats a long sleep I guess I needed it, eating dinner at midnight was a bit odd but huger won out

well thats it for now I need time to digest the day

ps she asked me to write a letter to the 3 men that did what they did way back then which will be another 1st

thanks for reading ...........BB
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